Oh believe me I understand. You have a bunch of ill-mannered relatives and unfortunately your parents do not shield you from such characters. See, I wish to go to India again, but with my AMERICAN born and raised husband. We will wine and dine like tourists, the very AMERICANS that these Indians in India are jealous of !!!!! Golden Temple Dharamsala Himachal Pradesh Ootie Maharaja Express Then we will spend time at Maldives resort, take lot of pictures, post on FACEBOOK for all to see!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehheehehheheheh I am so giddy thinking of this ..... wheeeeeeee
@anika987 The reason for this kind of behavior is pure jealousy and insecurity. Since in India they don't realize how thought life he here and just see the dollars we earns and will put us down any chance they find. It become extremely tough when we are in US for more than 10 years, we blend in this life style with out ur knowledge. Again is depends on family and surrounding too. My parents side of family are more educated and moved out of their villages for jobs and they know how life could be with out close relatives. When ever any one visits from out side, they treat them well and make them comfortable few days the spend to gather are happy and content, of course their might be few family politics here and there but not an extent to put some one down. My IL's place is opposite of us, only my DH and his brother moved out india for jobs, For this reason there are always cribbing that we won't visit often we show of money etc etc. I would say just ignore those who hurt you and make friends who value you as person.
i hear you anika. The issue is the way US is depicted in hindi movies - With Posh houses, expensive cars and a free lifestyle etc. People do not realize that the daily chores are the same in any part of the world - cooking, grocery shopping, commuting, working in office, etc. The other thing is that people try to guesstimate our income in dollars and convert them to indian rupees but try to guesstimate our expenses in indian rupees and not dollars. They don't think that we have to pay Rs 30 for a coriander bunch or Rs 300 for a sada dosa. Lastly, there is a lot of spacing between our thinking and the thinking of people in India. Now, when i visit india and meet my friends, we don't have much to talk. These were the same friends with whom i chatted for hours. Now, our interest, jokes, gossip, daily chores are just different. We can't relate to one another. I remember a friend complaining as if the sky has fallen on her as her maid didn't show up for 3 days and that she had to do all the dishes herself and I was thinking like i do that every day. I kept quiet. If i had mentioned that they wouldn't have liked it and would have taunted back on that or others.
Ill-mannered for wanting to travel in India in style??? We're spending money on India's economy. How is that ill-mannered???
Unfortunately people are not nice to you when they think you are better than them. Ever see the movie "Cruel Intentions"? But if you think I'm ill-mannered for agreeing with OP, and wanting to get amused by making jealous and insecure people (who are not very nice at heart) more jealous and insecure by being happy, and enjoying traveling around India, you have every right to your opinion.
Aks, Congrats on the baby! I read your restaurant fiasco. Too busy to respond. Had to type this though - Kya yaar, tum bhi! Do you know how happy I was to see the maid every morning? That's why she is called "calm" Waali! Pati ke bagair hafta dus din theek tha par agar "calm" subah nahi aayi toh haalat bigad jaathi! Not that I didn't do it all myself before moving to India or after coming back but still, I cherish those early morning squabbles with the maid/cook/driver/flower lady/veggie vendor/milk man dearly. Life here is so boring compared to all that used to happen in the early morning hours in our household in India!
A lot of NRIs esp from US keep insisting " whats the big deal about maids ..we do it ourselves.." yes we do ...but that is because there are so many many little things that are taken care of here that folks in India struggle with. Many things that we dont even factor anymore. Water..power..gas..traffic...milder temps..airconditioning. When I complained we were out of power for a whole 2 hours...my mom calmly said.."Whats the big deal ...we dont have power 2 hrs every day..." Sometime back I was there not as a part of any vacation but as a lady of the house..running it. My perspective on a lot of things changed and yes I can easily see how some of our words can rub them on the wrong side. When there are so many balls to juggle the presence and absence of a helping hand makes a big difference...and a maid can be a life saver. And yes while I was there I could also see why a nighty and a towel is perfectly acceptable for a mom trying keeping her head above water on a working day. :thumbsup
