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Indian Arranged Marriage - Age Gap Between the Bride and the Groom?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by salvation, May 23, 2011.

  1. Mahanu

    Mahanu Silver IL'ite

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    I feel it is the understanding between the couple that is important, not the age difference. Less age difference like 1-3 years may also lead to ego clashes.

    First go and meet the girl and talk with her. Then you will come to know how well you two can go together. Talk to her about your apprehensions due to the age difference and see what her views are. Then take a decision.
     
  2. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Salvation,

    What can you know about your future partner in 15 mins. I see many south indians are okay with girl & boy meeting for couple of coffees. Many talk over phone/chat before seeing each other. You defenitely need to spend some time with the girl. If the girl's family doesn't allow it, why proceed with the alliance?
     
  3. swathika

    swathika Junior IL'ite

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    As some people have already pointed before me it depends on the outlook of the girl. In both sexes there are mature and immature people and I dont think age is a factor there as I have seen all sorts of cases. So in future if you see rest of the conditions match (family/horoscope etc etc) then let age not be the limiting factor.

    On a side note, I know for a arranged marriage only 15 minutes of meeting time allowed (for others who are suggesting take more time etc etc I just want to mention that practically in a southie set up its not possible. I know people might say I am making a mistake but only stating the truth here). But one way to work around this is telephone calls and emails. I dont see people having an issue with it most of the time. You can always email/speak with the girl and see if you feel she is compatible and then do the meeting to verify ! might work for you. (tried and tested method for self 11 years ago !!!. Arranged marriage and we are still good.)
     
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    No, its not. Its Russian roulette. :)
    Especially these 15 minutes ka thingies.
     
    yellowmango likes this.
  5. DNM

    DNM Silver IL'ite

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    No its not as callous as gambling....Its more like a well researched investment. Sometimes it does not pan out due to unforseen situations but it does not mean that good intentions, enough research and well thought out plans were not involved in the decision. I feel gambling essentially involves high risks for the sake of thrills - that is so not an aranged marriage.
     
  6. arty2010

    arty2010 Bronze IL'ite

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    Age does not really matter if you are both on the same level of thinking and are comatible.. i dont think 25 is too young for a girl to be married since she would have a career and would be well - settled. I personally feel that girls are more adaptable to different roles thrown at them - be it a career, marriage, kids and so on.. so you would be surprised how wrong you could be what you think of a girl just because of her age..
    In my case, my husband had seen few girls before meeting me... i was the youngest but he thought i was more mature.. it depends on compatibility as well.. how you complement each oter... but pls spend more than 15 min... the sooner you realise its not going to work the lesser pain it will cause everybody when you break it.. spking from personal experience.
     
  7. athreys

    athreys Bronze IL'ite

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    My take on this -
    As the age diff gets bigger you will be a little out of sync. The guy will feel that the girl is a kiddo and the like. A lot of things that the girl might want to do will seem too child like . But this cannot be generalized.
    On the other hand if you don't have huge age diff you have better chances of jelling.You both will have been through almost similar things.

    For the time constraint-- I have no solution. Its tough to ask for more yap time in a arranged scenario.

    But the fact remains that you will need to adjust like in any marriage.Don't worry and go with your heart. If you like what you see in the girl and the fundamentals match then go ahead.I am sure it will work out well
     
  8. zipzipzoomzoom

    zipzipzoomzoom Gold IL'ite

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    It's human nature for the groom's side to want the brides to be the young, healthy, and in child-bearning age. Your parents (like most parents who want thier son to get married) probably dream of grandchildren, and the older a woman gets, the harder it is for her to furfill your parents' wish. Of course, genetics plays a role; there have been instances of 40+ old women giving birth (i.e. without IVF).


    Nothing wrong in meeting a person. It's only 15 minutes.
     

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