In The Journey Called Life!

Displaying her train pass, Pavithra moved into the railway station. She was early by 10 minutes for the Bangalore-Mysore express train which she boarded regularly. Finding and empty chair, adjusting the dupatta of her cotton salwar she rested her vanity bag on the seat and sat down… The rays of the early morning sun was pleasant enough to warm her up …

Getting up at 4 every morning, getting ready, traveling by train to the bank that she worked for…travelling back home again in the same train for 2 long hours - this was her daily routine. Travelling from Bangalore to Mysore on a daily basis was not an easy job … especially with a heart loaded with guilt for not having to spend time with her only child - Mayank.

For Mayank, his world revolved around his grandparents… Pavithra’s mom and dad, who took care of him in her absence. … Her hectic schedule allowed her to be a mom only over the weekends…this ached her a lot. There was nothing that ached her heart more than this… not even the fact that her husband for no longer with her. In fact, she felt relieved that her husband was no longer with her. Coming out of his place- which was once ‘her home’, was not an easy decision.

She had survived the physical abuse and torture for 3 years. There were times when her drunk husband had brutally beaten her up in the middle of the night. There were also times when her in-laws had harassed her for dowry, her bank-given-accommodation or her complete salary… And then, there were times when she just drank a glass of water to fill her stomach in which the little Mayank was just nurturing. She had borne all the pain and physical abuse just for the sake of her son…. Her son Mayank - needed a father, he needed a family. But all the reasoning went in vain when her drunken husband started to abuse her son too…

On that cloudy night, her patience had crossed all limits and she had decided to leave “her house”. With a small baby in one hand and her luggage in another, she had left her home…FOREVER…

Not knowing any place to go, she had boarded the Bangalore-Mysore express at 10 o clock in the night. Bangalore was a place she had grown up. If not anybody, she could at least think of her parents or friends for help…The darkness of the night or the loneliness of the road did not affect her…. She had decided that she could take care of her son all alone. She swore to herself that she would be his mom and dad for the rest of his life.

At first she had hesitated to talk about this to her parents… She knew their feelings better... She did not want to be a burden for them. She had always sworn that she would be an independent girl…But with a small baby in hand with tender eyes, she had no choice but to knock the door of her parents’ house…

Her parents had been a good support for her since then... They had understood her, supported her in her decision and respected her thoughts and fights… that was her greatest blessing coupled with a job in a nationalized bank, had given her the strength to fight the life battle….all alone.

From the past three years, she had not looked back…Initially, there was a time when she thought that her husband would change…at least for the sake of their son…but now, all hopes had faded away.

Now, as she sat silently gazing at the passersby, her thought wandered about her previous days…the days that she did not want to remember. … But these were the days that had taught her to be strong in the journey of life….Her eyes became moist as she thought about her past as she wondered about her future,… she felt a prang in her stomach as she thought about the future for Mayank...Now that he was growing up, there would be a world of questions that he would shoot at her. She shuddered as she thought about the tender questions that would shoot out of his innocent self…

With the sound of the approaching train, Pavithra picked up her bag and boarded into it. The journey was long…2 hours … This was the time she had for herself. Every day, she used this time to motivate herself to work…to work for the sake of her son…to give him a bright future. On some days, sitting in the train, she imagined him to be an army officer, vigilantly securing the nation…one other days she imagined him to be a software professionals earning well enough to have his own family and also take care of her - his mother who had worked hard to bring him up.

She always wanted to see respect for her in his eyes, something that she always wanted to see (but missed) in the eyes of her husband.

There was one belief that she stood upon… ‘I don’t know who my son should grow up to be….but I definitely know who he should not grow up to be...like his dad”.