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In A Very Bad Place!!!!

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by twinmom, Jul 11, 2016.

  1. twinmom

    twinmom New IL'ite

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    Hi dear ladies!

    This is my very first post here, and I'm starting off right from venting.
    I stay in a small ton near Delhi & I visit my parents monthly.

    My mother has been depressed for a long time now-maybe a year...it was first regarding my father. My father loves her lots, but he gets very demanding. (he does not abuse etc) But, he needs his food warm, on time the typical Indian household thing.

    I had been BEGGING my mother to see a shrink, but she wouldn't. I think since a year.
    Then in Aprl two of her brothers died (in few days gap) due to severe illness and I begged her then too.

    Then, my aunt's (maasi's) husband dies last month and it did take a toll on my mom.

    Anyhow, despite asking her many times she just wouldnt listen to me.


    I'm always worried about my mom. I hace stopped doing my things (work-out cleaning etc) I have actually given sessions to my mom on phone literally.

    Finally, something hit her & she went to see a shrink today.

    She said--today was the first day, I will take time.



    OKAY- friends pls dont hate me-

    But, I feel so angry with mom right no. I feel that she does not listen to me. I feel bad that she did not thin I gave her the right advise.

    I just cried and felt so bad that I'm feeling like this.

    So, thats all!

    PS- is there an app for this website?

    thankyou
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You cannot help being concerned about your mom. And your feelings of anger are also justified. But you have to realize that your mother is an adult and is entitled to make her own choices, regardless of what you feel about them.
    Keep the lines of communication open, but do not harangue her. The last thing she needs to it feel another person is making demands of her. She has taken the first step to seek medical advice and hopefully it will work. Mental health issues are not solved overnight, so be patient with her.
     
    sindmani and momsky like this.
  3. twinmom

    twinmom New IL'ite

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    Hi
    Thank you so much for your reply.
    I have not been able to sleep the entire night.
    I know I should be patient -- but I feel so worried all the time.

    Take care
     
  4. Sairindhri

    Sairindhri Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Could not figure out, what is Shrink?
    In this entire thread, I am not sure what big things are here for you to worry at all. Maybe I am confused.
    First of all your uncles die right, well I thought people who are born on earth lived forever!!! Just kidding, hey, there are somethings which aren't fitting the picture. One thing I can tell is you are blowing the things out and stressing yourself out.
    Maybe I am wrong. If so pardon me and hope you are alright.

    Bye
     
  5. twinmom

    twinmom New IL'ite

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    Hi

    Shrink is a slang word for a pshycatrist.
    I' feel very concerned and worried about my mother. That's what I cannot control.
     
  6. Sairindhri

    Sairindhri Gold IL'ite

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    Psychiatrist, what for, just because she is feeling low. I am not sure why you are blowing things out. All you had written happens in any persons life, in fact worse still.

    Let me tell you, your mother had been over the years, had problems basically because of your father right. Even if low, all she needs is some counselling from a good psychologist.

    If you don't mistake me, you are overwhelmed and I feel that you would make things worse, by trying to talk the same things over and over with your mother. I feel you need to rein in your worries first and be supportive of your mother. You first find out how to make things or your thoughts positive and feed the same to your mother. If you are going to be so worried and thinking negatively, it would reflect on the way you speak and make your mother more depressed, I meant in her mood.

    I am really sorry, if I had put my thoughts right here, but if it hurts you in any way pardon me and hope you sort your things out.

    Bye.
     
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  7. twinmom

    twinmom New IL'ite

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    No not because she is feeling low - but because she is depressed.
    My fault if the first post in my thread was very vague.
    It's good that you can are a strong lady and know how to be postive.
    Hopefully, I can be one too!
     
  8. twinmom

    twinmom New IL'ite

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    PS - yeah maybe she used to feel worried regarding my father but currently it's not on those lines. I thought it was worth mentioning, hence I mentioned.

    And, yes I'm aware that no one lives forever.
    But, I think it would effect a person who is depressed to see two of her brothers die & then her sisters husband die.


    Anyways - I came here for some support and would be happy to get some.
     
  9. Sairindhri

    Sairindhri Gold IL'ite

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    Ha Ha
    Don't pull my legs, I am laughing already.
    Ok, fine. Whatever I told is the fact. Your mother just needs counselling.If you are too concerned can take to a 'Shrink'.
    But I am sure you are a strong person, something tells me so. You are one who would not easily be falling into negative thoughts. I feel you might take things light only, even though you are more concerned about your mother.
    Just take things as they come along.
    Good luck.
     
  10. twinmom

    twinmom New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your wishes dear :)
    I hope I can come around.
    Take care
     
    Sairindhri likes this.

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