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I want to know y my daughter behaves so after marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sunkan, Aug 28, 2005.

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  1. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    hai folks,
    my daughter married this january and due to some problem her husband lost his job....my second daughter got him a job and now they r with us....but in no way does she want to contribute in work at home just cooks for her husband and does not feel this her home any more....any explanation goes over board....i want to help her but dont want to land up doing all the things from washing and folding cooking etc and cleaning they leave behind the kitchen a mess and all rooms in fact...can u give any suggestion to get the right attitude from her.....awaiting with anticipation......sunkan
     
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  2. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    I want you to know that my daughter

    My cousin sister is just like your daughter. She does not even cook for her husband. My aunt does all the work and my uncle maintains the home. She does not feel any hitch in staying like this.
    The only way is to sit and talk with both your daughter and her husband about the difficulties and asking them to make arrangements of their own that is move out of the house. Try that in a subtle way.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 31, 2005
  3. madhu_cute

    madhu_cute Junior IL'ite

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    That's a strange behavior!

    Hello Sunkan,

    That's a strange behavior of a daughter. Do you have your 1st daughter and her husband with you for a short term, or have you decided to have them permanently? I'm asking this because, I thought may be your daughter behaves like this because it's a temporary stay with you all. She might have thought it is no more her house to take care of things.

    As suggested by Varloo, talk to her. Ask her if she is feeling at home? If anything is bothering her staying with you? Express your love to her, that for a mother her kids are always hers irrespective of whether they are married or not and her guest kind of behavior hurts you. She should be alright with an open talk.

    Don't worry :wave
     
  4. Mridulah

    Mridulah New IL'ite

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    Know your daughter

    Dear Sunkan,

    For all I know you must be definitely of my mom's age, so its just too easy for me to understand your feelings. You must be knowing your daughter very well for she is your daughter. How was she before her marriage? Was she of the same dont care type even before the marriage or has the marriage and the adjustments needed changed her like this. Does she have a cordial relationship with her in laws? If your daughter was good enough before her marriage and only now is behaving so differently then surely it should be the after effects of the marriage only.

    Did you try speaking to her as suggested by our other friends? We have not heard from you after that.

    Just give a try at this also "SPEAK TO HER MIND"

    In the night when your body asks for rest, your mind does not want to do anything else you should just be feeling if you close your eyes you would fall asleep ( this is the alpha level of the mind when your mind and body is relaxed) at that moment your mind should say "I will wake up when my daughter is most receptive."

    Probably in the night or in the early morning your sleep will be disturbed, wake up and sit visualize your daughter sitting opposite you. Now speak to her. Never get angry speak to her in the most loving manner, put your requests to her. Pour all your affection on her and her husband. Remember you are speaking to her mind, so anything you do now will reach her directly so be very carefull. Never and never show your anger or ill feelings when your are speaking to the mind. Give love and you will receive it. Speak to her for about a week and then tell us the results.

    If a person is tough to handle as it is then try this method, you will need more practise to reach the alpha level once you are at it this will work thats why this one week period. So atleast your daughter will receive the message twice or thrice.

    Ofcourse your daughter will change when she becomes a mother herself but lets not wait for that.

    Great speaking!!!!

    Love
    Mridulah
     
  5. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    thanks friends thats encouraging

    hai friends,
    thats really encouraging i will try ur alpha as well my dear....but i have opted for a safer method i have ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun away to my sis place for sometime for them to take care of themselves and stop missing me...:rotfl regards...sunkan
     
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  6. MaritalBliss

    MaritalBliss Platinum IL'ite

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  7. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Very old thread.
     
  8. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    Still, it would be nice if the OP comes back and updates the final outcome of how did she eventually handled the dead beat.. (I always see many folks posts their issue, discussion goes on and on and finally the thread dilutes into the waters. Its the responsibility OP and respect to the other members in the thread, to post the final outcome at least after some time of the thread age.)
     
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