I Suspect My Husband Is Gay.

I feel sorry for you Snehal. The problem here is your upbringing. I am not blaming your parents. But you should have opposed this in the very beginning. It is a bit weird that you didn't see something wrong 3/4 months after marriage. And this husband of yours is not a human being, forget about being a man. He is so careless about the fact that you love him, that you want to be with him, that you too have some needs. If he had been a man, he would have admitted his problem and he would have been sorry and try to make amends for it. Instead he feels tortured and victimized for his own fault. And yes, having a kid for his selfish reasons is even worse. In this instance all you can do is, divert your mind from sex - I can see you don't want to quit your marriage for your kid, then the only thing you can do is to keep yourself sane, don't think about things that make you sad, indulge in something else that will give you happiness and peace of mind. I think you should have been extremely careful before having a kid. If you are calm, at least you will know in future what you can do to get out of this situation. Prodding him time and again will give you unhappiness and unequivocal support from others for your husband. Try to deal with it with courage. Hugs to you dear and yes, I feel like crying when I think of what it must be like for you.

 

I don't believe he's a gay. I think you can change him by changing your approach towards him. erase all preconceived thoughts. start fresh. everything can be changed by love.

 

This only happens in Bollywood movies darling.

 

NO. sometimes reality is harder than fiction.

 

What i meant was, you say change your approach and fix it with love. That is not practical. Sometimes you have to be realistic. OP is unhappy and her husband is not willing to work on the issue on hand. She has tried to resolve it via different avenues. Sometimes its not healthy, no practical to keep trying to fix something that cannot be fixed. Its unhealthy to keep trying when the truth is glaring you in the face.

Only in hindi movies does love fix everything

 

I know it is hard. I am also passing thru a hardest phase in my life. I can advice others but can't do the same to me. I even don't know what to do.

 

Dear Op,
I just read your post& few responses & your answers to some questions. I am really sorry you are going through this ..

I am really not sure what you are waiting for or expecting now.. everything you described is outright abnormal & considering the time elapsed since marriage,no change after several years, no willingness to take action, no difference after visiting doctors! This is beyond repair, whatever he has.. don't waste your life with him. Get divorced, marry a normal guy, let DD be with him if he wants custody & if he is a great father or let him meet her frequently if you have custody.. but don't waste any more time even breaking your head over this. You deserve everything great girl.. take care, hugs.

 

Good luck dear !

 

Snehal, sorry to hear about your situation .. and You are making a big mistake. I can tell you because I was in the same boat for almost 20 years. I too thought that things will change.I too hoped that the love for his own children will hold him back. Things will change but not in your favor. They will change when your husband changes his mind to be free or becomes bold to come out or just because he is unable to see your face everyday because every time he sees you, he is reminded of his in capabilities. I look back and think why I have not thought of divorce 10 years or 15 years back ! Your sacrifice will not be recognized later when he decides to walk out. You will be facing divorce when you are older and when you are least prepared. Think about it.