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I could use your help in my personal life!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by neha1, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Ladies(and gentlemen!),

    I'm posting in this forum after a long time. I got busy with my semester exams and study.Now i'm free this month of January.

    So my husband and me had always thought that we would have our first kid in 2012. And 2012 is here!

    Moreover, when we had decided this, we did not know that i would be studying(master's) in 2012. Pregnancy could be an unpredictable phase and that's what worries me, should I decide to get pregnant this year.

    I finish this dec and then I can start working from Jan 2013. So there is an option of planning for a baby later,after my program too. However there are other things involved in this, like we might relocate to a different country,my husband might start pursuing his MBA then and most of all I feel it will be late.

    I'm extremely cranky if I'm at home and I'm very career oriented, so staying at home is not a good option for me. I don't mind a very busy life but at home I go crazy and end up picking up fights. So staying at home for the least amount of time is my priority. I cannot search jobs when pregnant, I don't think anyone would hire me. so the only option is to finish with my baby delivery this year or hold it off for another 1 year from now.

    Also, another nagging factor for me is those around me. Many of my friends and cousins are pregnant this year and expecting to deliver in 2012. This kind of puts pressure on me,although my reason to have a baby is more on my own instincts.
    If it matters,I'm 27 and Husband is 31.


    So any stories here from those of you who got pregnant in graduate school(Master's or PhD)? Any advice from parents ? Women, I love to hear anything. So please post your feedback.
     
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  2. psych

    psych Gold IL'ite

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    If all else is fine in your household, then you could have the kid now while completing your studies. Once you join then you can concentrate on your career and you wont need to have any break. And you will get some quality time with your baby if you do it now. once job starts, you will need to focus on work and baby! that can get little bit too hectic. I was working when i had my son. And have been working ever since. Going back I do wish I had more time to enjoy him :)
     
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  3. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    There really is no 'perfect ' time to have a baby. At any stage in life there will be goals to accomplish ,places to visit ..and that little bundle of joy is also a lot of work.
    That said I think in ur particular case I would recommend to wait till ur exams are over and you start looking for a job. For all the anti-discrimination laws ..it is hard for a pregnant woman to land a job on her own terms.
     
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  4. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks. Yep psych, that's my plan too. I won't have to stop working or take long break. I really go insane and depressed at home. The only tricky thing now is the delivery date would most likely be in the midle of the semester!
     
  5. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks. JAG,Yes there's no perfect time and that's why I feel even a day's delay is of no use LOL
    And I totally agree that landing a job is ruled out when pregnant,especially when we are visibly pregnant. so my target was to finish this while in School.
     
  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    If it was a research program I would have suggested to go ahead with the baby plans.. since there is some flexibility (if we can work it out with the advisor). Programs like MS ,MBA have rigid schedule and when we have a baby on the way ...schedule goes right out of the window and safe to say u can pretty much plan nothing.
     
  7. modernwoman

    modernwoman Senior IL'ite

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    Hi
    I am a career woman and a mother of two.I have had my children when I was working for long hours and the company was processing my greencard and the recession was also there.So everything depends on you and how well you can handle everything.
    If you are mentally strong and self disciplined then you can manage more than others , else take your time.

    I wanted to have my children at the right time as the biological clock keeps ticking for women and when I look back I realize i had them pretty early on compared to others in my career but I don't regret it as I have tried to handle both.

    So it depends on the person.Some people can handle and multi task well and some can't.Some women I have seen juggle more than me and I always looked upon them to give me strength during my hardships.Moreover now I am working full time ,have 2 young kids going to school and also pursuing my MBA and no help here in US.Its very hard but hoping its going to be worth it someday.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2012
  8. modernwoman

    modernwoman Senior IL'ite

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    Actually I had started to look to change my job and I had got pregnant.So I was actually showing when I had even gone for some interviews.Initially I had the same fear that I will not get the job but I was surprised to see that I pretty much got offer on 90% of the interviews I had given .
     
  9. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Congratulations..! I could be wrong and would be happier for it actually.
     
  10. rnair

    rnair Silver IL'ite

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    Hey Neha ,
    I was working when I had my first baby and studying for my masters while i got carrying with my second. I guess everything is manageable and comfortable if you have a supportive DH and close knit family.
    Talk to the close circle mainly your DH and go for whatever suits the circumstances.
    A baby is the most wonderful blessing and trust me , the earlier the better :D
    You sure want to save up some energy to be running along with them ;P

    Take care and good luck.
    Cheers,
    R
     

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