I behind the curtain!

If you think you are financially independent who is stopping you .
If you don't want to tolerate its upto you to become independent since you sound like a beautiful woman I am sure you will find other men.I still don't understand as to what you want.
If you feel you are mentally strong you can lead your own life but that would mean raising your kids without a dad in their lives if they are young.

 

In that case Ibehindcurtain, you need to now consider your options - do you want to stay in the marriage or even in the same house for the children's sakes (how old are they by the way)? Going by the fact that you have been married for a long time now, my guess is that it will not be very long before they are out on their own - at university etc. So you need to think whether youu really want to do this?

Otherwise, being financially independent in a country where the government helps, it should be a good option for you to consider - either separate, giving both of yourselves time, especially your husband and see if it brings about any positive change in him or if you are certain that he is not going to change, then a divorce.

The pros and cons are really for you to weigh and consider, before taking an informed decision.

P.S. Just read this in one of your replies.

This tells me that you are not financially independent, since you are not working. I don't know if the social implications (as in what will people say or how will they treat you) would not be so bad in Australia. I would still understand it if you were in India. What you have said here puts a different complexion on things. Your concerns about your children do not seem very unreasonable. In this case you might want to consider joining some support groups where you can talk to others in a similar situation (IL is of course here to help you) or going for meditation, personal counselling to get help in facing the situation (not that you are not doing a good job already, but talking one on one with a person might be helpful), taking up some hobby in your free time like painting/music or whatever you enjoy .....

Wishing you all the best.

 

The risks you worry about are also prevalent in families with abusive parental relationships. If you step out and take a strong decision it will teach your children how to handle their problems when they grow up. If they we to face problems later wouldn't ou want them to be proactive and take the right decision on time?

As for growing up without a father, the idea that a father with poor skills is better than no father is a fallacy.

 

Dear friend,
Can understand your dilemma , your 3 year old kid is too small and the elder is 13, both are formative years. Can you try to disassociate from your DH while staying in the same house like have separate bedrooms?
You should try to establish yourself again to regain your confidence, start doing whatever you were doing earlier or join some classes to get more education.
Since your younger child is just 3 years old it seems a very long journey before you fulfill all your family responsibilities.
Can you shift back to India and start your business again? This way you will be away from DH and children can grow in a nice atmosphere and also gets fathers love.
Its a very difficult decision to make but you be firm and say NO to abusive language and behaviour as its influencing the kids as they are watching it.

 

Hi, I dont think so..starting from zero is a good option at this point of time. though there are exceptions...if you have that much courage to start from zero..then I am sure you can handle the situation at home also..but may be due to the good name you are taking a step back.....what will happen to that good name if you go out of the house and start from zero?