I am new to this forum

Dear Buvana,

First of all, a warm welcome to this family.

Glad to hear that things are going fine with you and you are enjoying your married life so far. It is nice that you are in a joint family and probably nicer that you like to be in a joint family.

In Joint families, there are gives and takes from both sides and require adjustment and compromise. You need to let go sometimes of small issues and also have to see that everybody around you is happy with what you are doing.Am sure, in turn, everybody also cares for you and loves you.

As long as things are going fine, why to worry and take tensions. Sometimes, just thinking and assuming about things that have not yet happened will disturb your mind. So, dont worry. Enjoy your life and wish you a happy married life.

 

Your colleagues and your views and opinions may differ. DO what you feel is good and what makes you happy. If doing something for someone makes you feel good, then you are a gem of a person. Never go by what others say. Each one has his own experiance.

 

Welcome buvana to our IL. Here you will get lot of support and guidance. You can also express your opinion here.
Hats off to you for supporting the joint family concept, Since you have told you are satisfying every one this shows you have understood every one. The reason for tension is may be time management. You want to do all the work by yourself. Instead you can share the work. You can delegate the work to others. If you tell kindly they will do willingly. Don't suppress your feelings. Every one has emotions. If you hide now later it will create problem or guiltiness. To some extend you can express you feeling this will help others to understand you. All the best

 

Welcome to IL

Let me first say, just analyse wats around you in the house
Then think twice before you act.
Just go ahead with your thoughts in the right way after what is needed there
Set right the things in amicable way, which are needed by others
Love-Care-Affection, all will follow you in all walks of your life
But, plan always wat to do, when to do, and how to do...

LIFE WILL BE HAPPY FOR EVER..

God Bless

 

Hi Buvi,

In my birth home i got more affection from my parents and brothers. I feel that here i did not get it.

i am more sentimental but in laws home all are practical persons including my husband. he is a good person but he is not express his love. whenever i discussed he used to say that i cant do just like you. now i thought he might have not love me . i cant share this to anyone of my family since they might be feel that i am struggling after marriage it will affect them.

Try not to compare your parents' home and your in-law's place. Firstly, no two homes are the same. There will be differences. If you were to live on your own, you would in time find even you do things differently from your own mom. If you are newly married, it will take time for them to get used to you and you to them. So long as they are not hostile, don't worry. Some people are not demonstrative and emotional. That does not mean they are bad.

Do only what you feel comfortable doing for them. If you feel you are bending too much, don't. If you feel like doing something for them, do it with all your heart and then don't think back to why you did it for them. And don't compare yourself with your co-sis. You two are different individuals. Accept that the mil-dil relationship may be different in her case. Or may be it is just that you perceive it that way. She may be having her own problems which you may not know about.

So as for now, as long as there are no real problems, just enjoy yourself and "don't trouble troubles till troubles troubles you".

You are pretty recently married and it will take time for you to feel at home in a strange environment. Try to keep negative feelings away. The moment they start creeping in, it becomes hard to be nice to anyone, then they will respond negatively too and it becomes a vicious circle.

By the way, are you working? Do your parents live in the same city? Tell us something more about yourself and your interests.