Hulla Bol

Kamalji · Oct 10, 2017

Hulla Bol

hulla bol dhoti khol - Google Search

In Ranchi,MP, the hometown of MS Dhoni, the police are catching people shitting on the streets, taking away their lungis, and giving themback only when they sign a pledge, that they wont do again. A very nice thing to do, im sure our PM must be very happy that the police is acting on what he says.

But the point is, what if the shitter, does not have an underwear under the lungi. Then what ? Then they will stand double exposed, once for doing the big job and one if the guy has no undie.

The strange part is this.Most guys caught admit that they have toilets at home, but the lure of doing it outside overpowers them.The police have made them promise, that from now on they will use the home toilets instead of the fields.

In Jaipur too, I have a few Senior citizen walkers from UP and Bihar, we gottalking, and they too said they love going to their fields there, and if given a choice and space, they would do it outside in Jaipur too.i asked them what is the charm of doing outside, they said, kamal , we cant explain, u have to expierence the thrill.

What thrill, I wonder. I love using the home toilet, with a newspaper, ciggie at one time, and it was heaven, u are with yrself, and honeypreet, and the scandals, and it is private space to yrself, and also songs played on you tube, it is great.

These chaps must be calling each other, come guys time up lets go, so half a dozen chaps taking their bottle of water, going and sitting in a line, chatting and exchanging whats app jokes, while doing their jobs. They must be loving the fresh air, and the green grass blades tickling their backsides, and also feeling that we are providing free **** as manure to the nature.Something like organ donation, this is **** donation.

But there are pitfalls.There are snakes and reptiles around and just imagine a guy gets bitten by a poisionous snake on his backside.They say, to save the person, someone has to suck out the blood from that portion, but who will do so if u are bitten there.

Well , our Prime Minister’s motives are good and clean, but he must realize that though it is a good election plank, it is not practical. A bathroom needs space, electricity connection, water, drainage etc. Where are they? What about the hutment people, the chawl people. Easier said than done, my friend.

Even the trains throw the **** on the tracks, we see it everyday.instead why don’t they have it collected as planes do, and at a station have it sucked out on to wells where it is turned to manure over time.

With bullet trains to come in, the guys who **** on railway tracks, many may have their backsides sliced off if they misjudge the speed of the bullet train.

HAHA

KAMAL MAHTANI

JEWISH HONEYMOON ...

Please excuse the four-letter words toward the end of the following story.

I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn't be the same..

A young Jewish couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back,

The bride immediately called her mother.

"Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic"

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, He started using

The most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before in our home! I mean, all these

Awful four-letter words! You've got to take me home!" "PLEASE MAMA !"

"Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and

Work this out." 'Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT four-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed, they're

Just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!"

Mother.... "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible

Four-letter words!

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: "DUST, WASH, IRON, and COOK..."

Mother... "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes"

There was 1 horse in a room full of donkeys.

Trump, Putin & Modi were called for a competition to bring out the horse.

Trump entered the room & came out of the room after 1 hour but empty-handed.

Next Putin entered the room & came out of the room after 2 hours ... also empty-handed.

Modi went into the room & within 2 minutes picked up the horse and brought him out.

When asked how?

He replied "I entered the room & said 'Achche Din aane wale hai'. All the donkeys started dancing so it was easy to identify the horse."

joylokhi · Oct 10, 2017

Dear kamalji,
that was a hilarious take on a rather serious topic - as far as our PM - with all his good intentions would like to think!. He began with Swachcha Bharath and now this - an extension of the main Goal. However in a place like India with its varied people and their attitudes, customs, behaviour, it is really a herculean task. Here , in Bangalore where I had bloated with pride when a few of our street corners were cleaned and painted and all spruced up , it did not last even a month. There was the usual other side of folks dumping their wastes on the same cleaned out areas with not a thought to the amount of trouble the concerned had taken over this. Anyone would be thoroughly demoralised and I appreciate his efforts even though it may be with an eye on political outcomes.
Loved the jokes

Balajee · Oct 10, 2017

Kamalji, you're lucky that I missed this news item. Otherwise I would have penned a blog on it. For some it is an addiction. A friend of mine as soon as he leaves his office crosses the road and offloads his bladder on the wall opposite his office. His office does have toilets but he says he doesn't get sleep unless he wets the wall. I think photographa of these people and their backsides must be affixed in public places.

Viswamitra · Oct 11, 2017

Dear Kamalji,

Municipal solid waste is a huge market in APAC and Europe. China has significant amount of factories in this space and are the largest manufacturers of equipment to this industry. This industry is known as WtE ("Waste to Energy"). The Collection and disposal is a huge budget for corporations and municipality. The revenues generated from this source could completely replace the budget and even more profitable. In India most are used as a landfill or dumped into the ocean. There are only two factories that are supposed to commission in Bangalore within the next 2 years to process solid waste and convert it into energy.

Europe and China are the market leaders. The solid waste when it is burned at a very high temperature transferred heat can be converted into energy. Besides the burned ash is called bio-char and could be used as fertilizer for farm lands instead of chemical components sold by fertilizer producers. Besides, it is a major raw-material in the construction industry such as road building. If people are educated about this in India, they will use the toilet at home to be collected by the municipality or corporations. Instead of drive being, "Clean India" it should be "let us make money out of our waste". In a welfare focused nation, if their utility bill is discounted for their solid waste contribution, they may be motivated to keep India clean. But it would take many years before setting up such a huge level infrastructure to process solid waste.

Viswa

HariLakhera · Oct 14, 2017

Dear Kamalji,
The other day I was watching a French movie. Two teenagers were competing with each other for how high they can hit the wall, you know what I mean. Similar scenes can be seen in every country but thankfully adults are not involved. Today I may say so but I also emptied my bladder at the street corner as no urinal was in sight. Here is Delhi we have a DDA park with two urinlas on either side, one free other paid just Rs 2/- people still are seen irrigating the plants and trees.
The Bisleri Brigade can be seen in the railway tracks. No wonder one British tourist said he saw the longest toilet along the train route from Delhi to Agra.

More than constructing toilets, education in public hygiene should be the first priority.

I liked the joke about the Honeymoon bride.