How you all who are living abroad deal with homesickness???

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Yumna, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. Yumna

    Yumna Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,
    I feel so much homesick whenever i am away.I know that it is natural and we all feel it in some intensity but mine is creating problems for me.whenever i am abroad,i would be crying every other day and that would irritate my hubby a lot.But no matter how much i try i did not seem to come out of it.I love my hubby very much and do not want the two of us to live in two different countries.Now my dh has almost warned me that if i will be crying again,he will of course let me come back India as he did in past but will not ask me to come back to him ever again...:drowning.
    How you all have or are dealing with homesickness?plz share your experiences...:help!!!
     
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  2. rkgurbani

    rkgurbani IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Yumna,
    Initially, everybody misses home when you leave for the first time, but you have to come out of it dear.

    Career takes a man to many places and if he has an understanding and adjusting spouse, his career goes great guns. It also matters a lot as both the husband and wife stay together and is a support pillar.

    I would suggest you to keep yourself busy. Try your hand at what you enjoy doing. Look around and make friends. Accompany your DH to social gatherings. This way you will meet a lot of other ladies and atleast you will have someone to talk to. Go for walks and explore your surrounding. In a new place, there is always a curiosity to learn about that place.

    There is no need to cry else it will just make you depressed and will make your DH feel worse and disturbed because of which he will not be able to concentrate on his job. It is a small world now and one is never away from home because of emails, chats, sms, etc. Keep in touch with your family, but do keep in mind that your DH needs you as well and you also do not wish to be away from him.

    It is just a matter of time and you will get used to your new life soon. GoodLuck
     
  3. Irvinerenter

    Irvinerenter New IL'ite

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  4. Yumna

    Yumna Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot RKG for your input.i really appreciate it.
    I had wanted to know how others dealing with it,for which no response yet...! Thanks Irvinerenter,it really needed it...:thumbsup.
     
  5. PriyaDominic

    PriyaDominic Gold IL'ite

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    Hey,
    I was abroad When I was a spinster, I used to get on video calls with family when ever I could.
    browse internet, se movies in the free time. Of course work kept me busy.. I learnt driving ( no other option) got my own car and go where ever i felt like going, made friends and all
    When your hubby is away at work may be if the time permits you can havel ong calls with your family - but please dont do when your hubby is at home. try to make variety dishes when he comes home ( which will serve multi- purpose you wont be bored and he will be happy ) who knows if you would end up being a great cook!! if you have any other talent you just go through our own IL and develop and showcase it.... countless options.. stop crying my lady and do something.. dont sit idle.. you both are togeher have lot of privacy - you dont understand its value i think... so enjoyyy and plan lil surprises for him making him feel to come home early to be with a happy and pleasant wife
    Regds,
    PriyaDominic
     
  6. sitharaj

    sitharaj Gold IL'ite

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    Hi yumna...

    i so understand your feelings; like Priya, when i was a spinster I was also away from home (my parents were in Abu Dhabi and I was in Budapest); gosh it was terrible. Every night i used to cry myself to sleep; i felt very lonely. Anyways i as younger then and had to stay there for a year and the returned.

    Now I live with my husband in Dubai and my parents are still in Abu Dhabi... but i terribly miss my home. I mean that my place, my home feeling (at times, I feel it is because I am still newly wed, but though we live just an hour away, i still find it difficult)...

    Slowly i realised that it wasnt fair on my husband, i mean why should he come home to a sulky wife and his parents live far from him too but still we are here to make things happen.

    So i have slowly started to divert my mind.. since i am a stay at home wife, i have started taking an interest in cooking. I noticed that my husband is a big sports freak and reads a lot on business. So i thought why not i also start looking up and reading on the same, atleast i know what he is taking about. When i started this, my interests have begun to widen and i find myself reading on different things day and night...

    The mantra is to divert your mind now that you are here, you need to accept it that you can meet them just once in a while and not everyday. that is a reality; and when we go to our parents' house we miss our husbands.

    Divert your mind, find an interest, do one thing different everyday. I usually try a new receipe everyday, or plan a surprise for my husband. I try making small stuff and all my first tries, I keep them away so that i can show them to my mom when i go visiting her...

    its a temporary phase, you will be fine soon...

    dont stress so much
     
  7. rkgurbani

    rkgurbani IL Hall of Fame

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    Yumna, I came across this site to curb homesickness. I really liked the last line from this article...

    Almost everyone has felt homesick at some time. Remember that there's a good side to homesickness, too: It means you have family and friends worth missing and a place you want to return to when your adventure away from home is over.

    Here is the link - Homesickness#

    Hope you will find it useful and also hope that you will soon be able to overcome this and enjoy your life.
     
  8. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Yumna,

    The first 3 months I spent away from home was quite an experience. We never knew until 10 days before the day about the trip and what started with 3 months has now become almost 8 years!!
    I left home rather cheerily at first cos I was going to see a new place. Slowly the thought set in that I was away from home. I cried day and night until I realised what I was missing. I was missing noise and people and food and more than anything my parents.

    I ordered a large print of our family photo to be sent to me. I started going out when ever I could and started exploring places. Thanks to Skype I started talking to them more often, started experimenting in the kitchen. And that made a lot of difference for me.

    More then the first 3 months, I miss home a lot more now. But I still have loads of photos around me reminding me I am not that far away. Every year I look forward to trips to go home and meet my people. I try to celebrate every festival here alone or with friends to keep the memories of my days back home alive.
    You don't really miss home when you create one of your own, where ever you live. Only when you keep telling yourself home is some place else and you are in a whole other place, you start missing it.

    So create your home and decorate it with all the memories, you'll start getting used to it.
     
  9. archana2008

    archana2008 Gold IL'ite

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    umm could not stop responding. i work full time, have toddler at home still miss home.
    i keep indian tv channels in the background and do home work in the evneing. that way i feel i am in india at home :) and all those characters have become members of house ;) my DD 2.5 year old also recognises main characters now. she say mommy gopi crying hehe.
     
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  10. SurekhaKrishna

    SurekhaKrishna Bronze IL'ite

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    start making friends in IL and in your neighbourhood.
    Go to a nearby library in your free time.
    Keep yourself occupied with your hobbies.I come to Indus website often just to get the feel of fellow Indians:).
     

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