How To Save My Marriage?

Its a reality check. Its the same situation for many . Day to day/ 24h romance is only in films. At least try to spend time every weekends, when you guys are relaxed. But nagging and complaining wont work. In your case I think your dh appears to be happy in this setup. He has everything he needs - You are there for giving service, love, food and attention. What else he need?. I think going after and trying to change is not going to work. He is an adult. So the change should come from him. Everyone needs personal space. No one like intruding into their personal space or freedom. It will be suffocating. Instead of asking him to do what you like, find something both of you like. From whatever you have written, I think you have a good life compared to many unhappy women (see posts in IL forum), count blessings and find smartest ways to deal with the situation. Involve him in household jobs by requesting his help or make him do his own things atleast. Dont do everything for him or over do things to please anyone. You are also working, youa re also tired . So come home, and relax like your dh.

Don't depend on anyone , even dh for happiness. Take a reverse gear. Have patience. Do minimum service & talk. It may sound negative. But see if it works. Focus on yourself. You should be your priority. Take of yourself very well. If you like to go to temple/movie, go, do whatever you like without him. You dont need him for everything. Build your own happy circle/ friends. If he is on mobile, sit with him with your mobile and have fun yourself (only if you like it). Let him know that you can be happy even if he is not there. When he found out that you happy without him and have fun, I am sure, he will be curious & come to you. Its because people gets attracted to positive energy.

Dont mix MIL or others into this . If she has some problem with her son, let her deal with it. If they complain to you, tell them to ask her son about. Be diplomatic, give respect and take respect.

 

sudden behavior change is not normal. I hope he is not emotional with any other person. you need to have calm respectful and surely not an emotional talk

 

@lakshyasara I can totally understand you. My husband is laid back too. I have to nag n nag n nag. I have to take all the important decisions and sometimes absolutely hate it doing everything myself.

He's a nice guy n helps in housework but all the mental thing is done by me alone. He just enjoys.

 

When the outsource does a good job, the outsource gets repeat business. Eventually you will control the family's wealth and investments, and hand out the weekly allowances for everyone -- the children, as well as the dH. And that is the way it ought to be too.