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How To Remind Him Without Nagging

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, May 12, 2018.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Women are often the primary coordinator of household details like who does what, what happens when. So, the household can need reminders from the woman.

    What are do's and don't's for women to count to ten and follow when reminding? No one likes to be nagged. How can a wife remind husband about his pending to-do without becoming the dreaded nag?
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    A few things I could think of:
    - keep the tone of voice even. no scolding.
    - just state the task that needs to be done. don't ask why not yet done.
    - do not ask "why do you need reminding? why can't you just do it?"
    - if he is watching TV or surfing the internet, try to wait till he is done.
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    How about dropping the pallu and sitting on his lap,stroking his hair and then asking him if he is in a mood to do what he was supposed to do.:);)

    In our house::argue:
    H: ym, why didn't you remind me of bblah blah:scream:
    Ym: you told me not to nag you.:nono:
    H: But how will I remember if you don't remind?:eek:
    Ym: you meannnnnn....nag you?:rolleyes:
    H: okay...but only little bit.:cool:



    oR
    H: Don't nag.:mad:
    Ym: okay I will never ever remind you of any thing everrrrrr again.:shakehead:
    H::yikes:you should remind me only once or twice.
    Ym....okay ,you have do blah blahblah blah......:p
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2018
  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very true o_O
     
  5. Iravati

    Iravati Platinum IL'ite

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    Men never change. Women should get resourceful. No comma, a gigantic period.

    As long as you are reminding, you will be labelled as the 'dreaded nag' but if it is someone sounding like you then ...

    On a weekend, pick a goofy filmi song, hash it into your voiced and playful reminder, send the song to his whatsapp, then when he is away and if you have free access** to his phone, save the song on his phone, and change his ringtone to your voiced ditty. Let it ring on the next call,

    "O jaanu O mere jaanu
    Aise reminders kahan milenge
    Jaise main aur tu
    Pay the bill and clean the dishes too"

    [**]: Ethical inquiry on whether spouses should access each other's phone can be discussed in a separate thread or on a separate weekend.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2018
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  6. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    In my case, the role of a coordinator often gets so boring because the coordinator is expected to keep mum (means not to nag, not to scold, not to remind, not to make him guilt blah, blah); so alternatively I become the manager and decides how best I could delegate the duty among my other subordinates.
    Part of H's duty would be given to DS, and DD and driver and gardener and maid and their performance will be highly and openly appreciated before my H.
    Sometimes, as a leader I do the tasks myself instead of training him and awaiting for his performance.
    Whatsoever, this makes him feel guilt, get reminded, feel threatened by the competition and eventually he gets motivated to do the job on his own.

    But it is a long process. Since he is on a permanent job, he knows that he won't be fired by the management ;)
     
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  7. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    In my house i have made 2 list first is urgent job list another is less urgent job list. Many a times my husband says he just forgot what i told him to do. So now these 2 lists are on stick papers which are at bottom of calender. He has a habit to see calendar everyday. So instead of yelling n arguing its more easy nowadays. Well men will be men so little bit of reminder is still there:grinning:
     
  8. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Next time if hubby complains when I "remind" him. Am planning to get a big white board n nail it behind the main door. N write the task in big bold letters.. haha!

    Phone reminder settings can work as well I guess.
     
  9. Endlesshope

    Endlesshope Platinum IL'ite

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    Add it to his calendar, set reminders and hope it gets done - mostly does .Example : If it’s flight tickets - I set multiple reminders over the months and one final and send price comparisons over the time . If it goes past the final reminder I book them :mask:And he does the same .we are a boring couple .

    He is working on his PHD right now , so it’s mostly me setting my own reminders and figuring out things :grimacing:
     
  10. Smiledeep90

    Smiledeep90 New IL'ite

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    I usually take note of all important tasks to be done or things to be bought and pin them or put a sticky note on our wardrobe..in this way it catches both of our attention...hus takes a look in it daily and sometimes he too adds additional tasks to it....we both strike off the lists once done..i find this as a cool option than reminding him always..
     
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