How To React With This Situation????

vedhikasankar · Nov 4, 2017

I think u just talk with your husband about the issues. After that find a solution whether u want to stay with him or not.

yellowmango · Nov 4, 2017

Minion said: ↑

YM give her a break no one marries a beggar, that does not mean everyone is behind money.
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What money?
This is not about money.
There are richer people in India.
This is about having extremely short term goal for a long term situation .
I could understand if he was permanently posted abroad or atleast for a really long term.

Getting married for a 4 + years goal to someone is extremely silly and short cited.

yellowmango · Nov 4, 2017

Shortsighted

Minion · Nov 4, 2017

yellowmango said: ↑

What money?
This is not about money.
There are richer people in India.
This is about having extremely short term goal for a long term situation .
I could understand if he was permanently posted abroad or atleast for a really long term.

Getting married for a 4 + years goal to someone is extremely silly and short cited.
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Its like a short vacation

Needtobestrong · Nov 4, 2017

Ok let's give the OP a little space ..
When we see marriage alliances, one of the factors to be considered is where the groom is located and where he will settle after marriage..
Some women prefer groom in same city for professional reason as they don't want to leave job or get transferred or because job prospect is good in same city or they don't want to relocate away from family after marriage..
Some women are ok to settle abroad, some don't want to go abroad but are ready to move anywhere within India after marriage..
The husband is from a remote village..which woman would want to live in remote village with so many in laws? So OP you agreed to marry him as he is going abroad and you could be in nuclear family..But the prob is , OP, you thought of short term goal of living abroad in nuclear family, but long term did you think what would happen after 4 years? Whether you guys would settle abroad or return to India in some city according to both your job preospect..that you should have discussed..
Ok living in remote native village means no facilities that are available in city, and where are you both working? Where is your husband working, what housing arrangements are there in your native place and how will both of you settle in village ?what job prospects are there in native place? And is this short term arrangement or long term, and what happens when you guys start family and want to send kids to good schools? If both of you stay in native place what kind of jobs will you get in desired field? Career shouldn't go for a toss with these family sentiments..certain cities are having good career prospects and more number of companies for certain job profiles..These points you can discuss with your husband and convince him it's not practical to live in native place and move to some other city where you can have the lifestyle of your choice..think and act smartly.

SGBV · Nov 4, 2017

Your dream is not shattered. Apply for jobs in abroad, go and settle there on your own.
Don't marry someone just to live/settle in abroad.

Clearly there were missed match. Him being a village guy, with a baggage of his FOO and responsibilities, his traditional belief system etc... They were all clear before you picked him.
But you only saw what you wanted to see..i.e his foreign life!!!

Wrong choice girl...
You got married for wrong reasons... I don't think there is any good in staying in this marriage.

RamyaShreeVnky · Nov 5, 2017

Thankyou all fr ur suggestions and advices..
Actually Me nd my husb decided to stay back in USA after 4+ years, if he gets a new job there nd as i knew,he was preparing for a new job. if not,we thot of returning aftr 4 years to coimbatore. so i thot of a dream that was actually comin true. I suppose this culd also be a reason lyk-- My husband has a younger sister, who has a daughter (i.e.,my hus's niece) whom he s very fond of. She was admitted in a hospital due to pneumonia for a month.my MIL used to talk to my hus everyday abt hospital scenarios. i din't know what wud happen to my hus aftr his mom's call; he will be totally upset,he wud nt talk to me,or he will not sleep for days,evn if i console him he wud say 'no u wont understand'.. nd wud not tel me wt his prob exactly is.. this lead to some misunderstandings btwn us, that he wud yell at me on small issues..so our life became quite problematic..
Later one day, he asked me to leave USA because of our arguments, i was shocked for his words. so i said fo wat reason shld i leave? nd how can i go alone to india leaving behind him ?coz i never knew he has already changed his work location to india without even telling me. Then within 2 days he booked tickets (separate seats on d same flight)and said that we both are leaving completely..it was lyk a nightmare tat i didn't know wat to pack nd wat not to, nd we boarded sumhow, landed in coimbatore. At d airport,he left me lyk an orphan.I was totally devastated den i called my parents to pick me up.from tat day on, i havent heard a word from him.he has nt called or texted me yet. even if i do he is not responding in wtsap,ignoring my calls.

Sunshine04 · Nov 5, 2017

RamyaShreeVnky said: ↑

Thankyou all fr ur suggestions and advices..
Actually Me nd my husb decided to stay back in USA after 4+ years, if he gets a new job there nd as i knew,he was preparing for a new job. if not,we thot of returning aftr 4 years to coimbatore. so i thot of a dream that was actually comin true. I suppose this culd also be a reason lyk-- My husband has a younger sister, who has a daughter (i.e.,my hus's niece) whom he s very fond of. She was admitted in a hospital due to pneumonia for a month.my MIL used to talk to my hus everyday abt hospital scenarios. i din't know what wud happen to my hus aftr his mom's call; he will be totally upset,he wud nt talk to me,or he will not sleep for days,evn if i console him he wud say 'no u wont understand'.. nd wud not tel me wt his prob exactly is.. this lead to some misunderstandings btwn us, that he wud yell at me on small issues..so our life became quite problematic..
Later one day, he asked me to leave USA because of our arguments, i was shocked for his words. so i said fo wat reason shld i leave? nd how can i go alone to india leaving behind him ?coz i never knew he has already changed his work location to india without even telling me. Then within 2 days he booked tickets (separate seats on d same flight)and said that we both are leaving completely..it was lyk a nightmare tat i didn't know wat to pack nd wat not to, nd we boarded sumhow, landed in coimbatore. At d airport,he left me lyk an orphan.I was totally devastated den i called my parents to pick me up.from tat day on, i havent heard a word from him.he has nt called or texted me yet. even if i do he is not responding in wtsap,ignoring my calls.
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Why do these men even marry??

Minion · Nov 5, 2017

Sunshine04 said: ↑

Why do these men even marry??
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Good question, another good question is why do mothers gives birth to a kid like this and raise a kid like this get them married, brainwash them so they are still following their mother like a puppy.

DDream · Nov 5, 2017

RamyaShreeVnky said: ↑

Thankyou all fr ur suggestions and advices..
Actually Me nd my husb decided to stay back in USA after 4+ years, if he gets a new job there nd as i knew,he was preparing for a new job. if not,we thot of returning aftr 4 years to coimbatore. so i thot of a dream that was actually comin true. I suppose this culd also be a reason lyk-- My husband has a younger sister, who has a daughter (i.e.,my hus's niece) whom he s very fond of. She was admitted in a hospital due to pneumonia for a month.my MIL used to talk to my hus everyday abt hospital scenarios. i din't know what wud happen to my hus aftr his mom's call; he will be totally upset,he wud nt talk to me,or he will not sleep for days,evn if i console him he wud say 'no u wont understand'.. nd wud not tel me wt his prob exactly is.. this lead to some misunderstandings btwn us, that he wud yell at me on small issues..so our life became quite problematic..
Later one day, he asked me to leave USA because of our arguments, i was shocked for his words. so i said fo wat reason shld i leave? nd how can i go alone to india leaving behind him ?coz i never knew he has already changed his work location to india without even telling me. Then within 2 days he booked tickets (separate seats on d same flight)and said that we both are leaving completely..it was lyk a nightmare tat i didn't know wat to pack nd wat not to, nd we boarded sumhow, landed in coimbatore. At d airport,he left me lyk an orphan.I was totally devastated den i called my parents to pick me up.from tat day on, i havent heard a word from him.he has nt called or texted me yet. even if i do he is not responding in wtsap,ignoring my calls.
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If you decide to patch up, be prepared to face similar situations in future too. Is it worth it?

Being clueless about what is happening in our own life is one of the hardest thing to face. Why don't you involve your parents and find out the reason. In the mean time, try for a job and be financially independent. May be that will give you more power in decision making.