How to make husband-wife intimacy into a RELIGIOUS experience

zipzipzoomzoom · Jan 21, 2013

I am posting in religious queries forum, rather than married life forum, because this is more of a spiritual question

I am newly married, and I spent just few days with my hubby when we first got married. Now he is waiting for visa.

I am wondering, how to turn husband-wife intimacy (in bedroom, in privacy) into a religious experience.

I believe that intimacy is a way to get closer to God. Unfortunately, I believe that most people have these intimate relations don't truly enjoy them the way God has meant them to be.

I mean, if people really had religious experience while being intimate with each other, they would truly bond and two would become one.

Do you really think one spouse would dream of cheating on the other - no! The husband becomes the wife, and the wife becomes the husband.

Do you really think there will be cheating, divorce, etc, etc?

Do you think we would hear all these stupid stories about people having affairs all over the world? In USA, they glorify this in Hollywood (who knew, Doctor Oz had Charlie Sheen on his show!)

Even in my neck of the woods, I work with people (both men and women) who have openly said that if they won the lottery, they would abandon their families .... is this what God wants? .... is this called love?

I will admit, several months ago, my hubby and I were sharing pornographic pictures we found on the Internet because we could not be PHYSICALLY together .... and that is when I noticed we started to fight more, and circumstances looked such a way that my elders thought my hubby might be trying to get away from this marriage and find someone better. It turns out, this is not the case (just some silly misunderstanding) and I realised that bringing this smut into our Holy marriage was frowned upon by God, which is why God created this turbulence, to show us how to mend our ways.

I wrote heart-felt emails to my hubby saying we should focus more on God because he bought us together, and we should take care of each other, and we should instil values of God in our children that we shall be blessed with, and he agrees.

So, I would like to know, how is the best way to get closer to God when hubby and I are getting closer to each other. Is there anything the Hindu texts say?

fencesitter · Jan 21, 2013

ISKCON people can guide you i guess.

amnilakshmi · Jan 22, 2013

are you nityananda ?

why are you confusing yourself and us ?

Religion is a means by which you can get to know god.. Intimacy is understanding your partner,... You can become closer to your partner both emotionally and physically..

Dont know why you have posted this thread..

letsknow · Jan 22, 2013

Hinduism has a branch called tantra that deals with religious spirituality and sexuality. You can find more info on this and see if that will suit you. Just check on the net.
Tantra
What is Tantra? - A Tantrik Talks About the Basics of Tantrism
Tantra - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You can also write to me for more info

Maggie2009 · Jan 22, 2013

z4, i generally think you are a sweet person based on your posts. but, i know that anybody would be creeped out by the way you are approaching this-and your husband might get scared really. am not saying this to make fun of you at all as i like your innocence and stuff. physical intimacy is fun, just fun and a very vital glue in a marriage. don't overthink this and scare him away.loosen up and all will be ok. asking such a question here might attract all sort of nutters to give you twisty advice you might as well glean from reading about sting and his escapades.good luck sweetie

Shanvy · Jan 22, 2013

ZZZ4,

why are you looking at religion and spirituality in the bedroom??? i just hope you are not spooking your husband.

Don't fall into the trap of any baba,or any guru, who talks about this..please please, you have just started your married life, you have a wonderful understanding husband and don't go about starting the process of distancing yourself.

working on your happiness, both physical and emotional along with your husband is the key.

Z4, let me say people make a lot of statements in a gathering.. there are husbands who make fun of their wives, they make jokes, just to keep up the image, but at home they may be the best husbands and best sil's too.

Sometimes in our fear of losing something we got after a lot of hard work, hard times and search, we hold on to it tightly that it gets choked.same is the case of your marriage and your husband. you got him after so much struggle, so many confusions that you fear he may change or you may lose him. it is not going to happen,

but your fear, and your measures could start sowing the trouble.so give the freedom, cultivate trust, develop your communication and love..

enjoy your life . write about sweet nothings, not about god and fear. there is a time for everything. even religion does not stress too much on god in the initial year of marriage after the first few weeks...

take care love..

zipzipzoomzoom · Jan 23, 2013

Hi everyone!

Ok now I realize I am over-reacting. I didn't mention any of this stuff to my hubby so luckily I haven't spooked him out

Once in a while I have to reassure myself that everything is gonna be ok. I still have to get over the trauma of my parents nightmare marriage. And I am learning to give my hubby breathing room while keeping busy with some things that will help our marriage later on so I don't obsess as much about things, I.e job-related training which he totally supports.

No guru has approached us about anything, it was just me over thinking things once in a while

I really look forward to him coming here so we can enjoy our lives and make each other happy .... Hopefully it shall be few more months ::keeping fingers crossed::

bhuvnidhi · Jan 23, 2013

Zzzz,Do not think too much and go with the flow.From your posts( after marriage) ,I sense a kind of insecurity from you.Think positive and "face" your fear or whatever situation comes.Right now,enjoy your newly wed life.

FreeSpirit20 · Jan 23, 2013

Hey Z4, just came across this post and sorry but I was surprised at this too. But I'm so glad to see your latest reply. I just wanted to tell you to take care and I'm sure your DH will come here soon and you guys will have a blast. God bless !

Anjuc2013 · Jan 25, 2013

I don't know if i will surprise a lot of people here but some where i could see what you are saying.. But it is not only about physical intimacy. .. in fact in our religion (hindu) we do have ARDHNARISHWAR concept ( shiva and Sati) together as one .. and they are incomplete without each other. I don't think only physical intimacy cud achieve that level but I do believe that the kind of thinking you have if you don't overdo it then you both can take your relationship to a certain level where cheating on each other will have no space in your marriage or being insecure by doing something wouldn't affect your marriage at all.