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How To Keep Yourself Cool When Mil Irritate Us

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Ishaan10, May 17, 2019.

  1. Ishaan10

    Ishaan10 Bronze IL'ite

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    Nowadays she does all kind of things to irritate me n insult me ...don't know how to react....if I react it will create problem in my house only ,will be a headache to hubby...how to overcome or deal with mil...
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Go with her for shopping walking garden and ask constantly whether it could be done this way or that way and even if you want to say no to alms seek her permission . She will turn damn happy I suppose.
    2. Keep praising constantly her methods her way of thinking and other practices and disclose to her how scientifically she is correct in following methods in respect of cooking and hygiene etc.
    3. to all common friends you should praise mil in her absence too - not exaggerated scale - it will do wonders to you and hubby .
    4. Life though not of bed of roses yet you can endeavour.
    God takes many avatars including MIL avatar only you handle dexterously.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
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  3. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    Everybody has people who annoy them, only when you are not busy and idle these things flare up and take up your full focus. Pls get busy and engaged in something so this becomes trivial
     
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  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Replying again . Because I didn't quote properly .
     
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  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is my husband's solution. Now I feel all men more or less give the same solution .
    Buy OP you know what this works . I have gone out of my comfort zone and tried it and it worked for me .

    The moment you accept MIL/MIL's actions etc instead of taking it on you and reacting to everything they do,you will find peace with self. And the moment you find that peace there's no irritation or insult which is happening because we have trained our mind to not think like that.

    And from my experience I learnt that NO our husbands don't deserve that headache of MIL -DIL conflict
     
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  6. ramya8085

    ramya8085 Bronze IL'ite

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    I do not agree. People (MIL) . act the way , because i feel they
    insecure - ( hubby loving and favoring the wife ) , jealous ( her husband never loved the same ) , power play ( her mil screwed and now she got a chance ).

    @senorita2019 is quite right. keep yourself busy.

    also you must express yourself clearly, that you hold very high respect for her as she is the mother of your husband. however she needs to understand that you are family too now and family accept each other. ( how you express it is upto you ) .
     
  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:My suggestion to OP BASED ON LONG TERM VIEW. This suggestion when followed would be helpful in establishing perfect rapport including any trimesters & morale boosting, better understanding and elated moods etc. in short term your method would encourage briefest exchange and of words leading to a permanent gulf between mil -DIL -DH .
    So be happy OP - choose what you want. It is durable peace, understanding, cooperation, cordial relationship or a widened gulf, embittered moments, non cooperation, constant fault finding, nagging criticism, pave way for more insult and humiliation.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God distributes power among the equals.
     
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  8. radv

    radv Gold IL'ite

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    OP - like others suggested, keep your mind occupied with other things than what your MIL is saying. Why to give so much importance to her words. Whatever she is saying is her opinion, which need not be right. Whenever she starts talking like this, on one or the other pretext you just go away from there. Just grow thick skin and learn to ignore her blabbering. Don’t sulk and keep cheerful mood. This itself will defeat her.
     
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  9. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    With MIL,
    Each battle is different, sometimes ignore, sometimes answer back with smile, sometimes bad stern look, sometimes bad stern bad comeback
    It is a power struggle, it will never change, it a life long commitment to being annoyed
    She is equally annoyed, it is mutual animosity
    Try to focus on yourself and not let the home life be the only life you have. That way life will be a bit bearable.
     
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  10. Ishaan10

    Ishaan10 Bronze IL'ite

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    I follow these things like asking doubts in cooking, and managing with kids what to do , whether I'm doing right or wrong , she will reply happily... I'm doing this for past 3 years...
    how can I ask doubt when I know these things very well... When I married i don't know about cooking so I usually ask doubts n i will praise her about cooking ...but she doesn't cook , I'm doing cooking n shopping.
    To maintain a relationship i have to praise her all my life mean it looks hard for me...
    Maybe that's the reason she had changed nowadays...
     
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