How To Help My Husband

but asking to choose is not the same as asking to cut ties no?
There is a difference? she gave him a choice. She didnt ask him to cut ties. I maybe missing your point...

 

Choose versus Cut ties: here is my 2₵
They amount to the same thing when the choice/ties involve people, and not things. Asking dH to choose between a Tata and a Toyota in a car purchase decision is indeed different from cutting ties with one and going with the other. However, laying down an ultimatum to choose between dW and her MIL, is indeed a demand that he cut ties with one or the other -- looks like a choice, but not really a choice.

 

Indian origin Tamils are religious but I don’t think BM is a huge part of their beliefs at all. I should know I am married to one.
Another misconception is your PIL’s wishing bad for their son and his family. They might hate you but will never wish bad for their son.
I am just imagining my spouse coming in one day and telling me to “choose” between him and my parents . Because they left a evil vodoo doll in my closet.
I would not know how to react.

 

I don't believe in black magic , and anything can be solved by determination . What the priests said as it's their profession , as others have pointed out .

Still .....it seems u have gone through a lot w.r.t in-laws and ur wish to cut off from them is justified . But u have indirectly put pressure on your husband to choose , to maintain emotional distance (caution ) from parents. But it's not possible for guys .. it doesnt matter their parents are good or bad, guys can't avoid their parents and be happy they will become severely depressed .Right now he seems to be in severe depression and u are even apprehending the worst possibilities . So in best interest of ur husband u have to encourage him .to talk to his parents .

U are completely justified that he needs to protect u and his kids .. it's just he is in a horrible state and his well being in more important . That is a huge sacrifice u must do for his sake as u love him .Also he must be having a terrible time even wife is far away , so on priority make arrangements to meet him and take your family to your work station.

 

Personally I have never come across anyone practicing or talking about black magic and I have traveled quite a portion of south India. Who are these priests you claim do black magic and do you have a link to these articles?

Only place I have come across black magic is in movies that too a certain type of horror /haunted kind of genre. I feel This black magic talk is just a stereotype about India garnered mainly from movies much like some Americans believe India is full of snake charmers and rope tricks. I can equally plausibly see an American swearing same thing about snake charmers.

Actually I suspect these ‘experts’ you have contacted to confirm black magic was done. I don’t know why they would claim that or their basis for this claim. Don’t let this long history with pils blind you to what is going on. I think some people are trying to use that to pull a fast one on you <—- is my opinion about the whole thing.

 

I guess we stand in disagreement on this one then @Amulet

@SGBV , you have had enough troubles with inlaws since day 1. If I believe that my kids and my husband are in danger, I would be prepared to cut ties with my husband too; assuming he is the reason. I am completely with you on this. If I were to go through half the issues you had to go through, asking him to choose would have happened a long time ago.

One thing to be cautious about though, like others pointed out, black magic and all is not at all common in south India, like they are leading you to believe. I am yet to come across a single incidence of that and if it were that common, I would have known. Take that news with a pinch of salt.
However, I still stand with you on asking him to choose. You fought your battles. You tried and tried for several years. You need a break from constantly having to try to get him to be a husband first and everything else next. I am all for trying everything but from what I know of you, you did more than enough trying.

 

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet (1.5.167-8), Hamlet to Horatio
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Blood Everywhere... Self-Mortification During Thaipusam -
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The Tamils in Srilanka, Singapore, Malaysia, and Burma (before the Military Junta kicked most out in the 1960's) all celebrate the festival full moon day in the month of Thai (Jan-Feb in Gregorian Calendar). What is on public display in the dances, processions and so forth, during that festival is often pictured as typical of the heathen, who practices strange and unnatural things. The heathen who ought to be made to see the true god, etc. etc. Religions that believe in proselytizing point to these displays as black magic, and those who practice, are able to do it to their enemies. A trident embedded in live flesh ( or a sacrificial lemon proxy with some red kumkum mixed in with the oozing acidic juice is a grand and fearsome display!!) could be disconcerting to many.

 

I am a Sri Lankan origin married to an Indian and I don't believe in black magic. I have seen many advertisements in Srilankan newspaper about black magic from TN and Kerala priest. These people come to SL on a tourist visa and cheat people and make easy money.

 

I am a tamil. Brought up in kerala and tamilnadu.BM is never a part of both cultures.
A few people in both states may use BM, that's all @SGBV

 

I wish you had posted a link to a newspaper advertisement.... what services cost how much, and whether they'd accept Srilankan currency or would want hard currencies, like Kuwaiti dinar or something like that.

occasionally we hear news of witchcraft, and blackmagic from SL; check these out:

Series victory down to witchcraft: Chandimal

Sri Lankan 'witch doctor' claims he used black magic to elect president of the Maldives

And there are Indian services that get exported to the SL gullibles too:

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