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How to handle (always) teasing hubby?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by iswaryadevi, Nov 10, 2010.

  1. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear all,

    Those who know me may wonder what this is about. So lemme make it clear. This is about my close friend who keeps complaining about her hubby. Well, I wonder if this is really a problem. She has been married for a year, no kids. Her problem(??) is her hubby keeps teasing her all the time related to other women. For ex: when she calls him, suddenly her hubby would say that there is a good looking lady passing by and that he wishes he could chat with her. Sometimes when she talks romantically, he would just snub her saying how nice it would have been if he married some other woman, etc. Hope you get the point. Even if she does not react and just ignore, her hubby will make sure that she reacts and then will console and cajole her.

    She says she likes the last phase (cajoling), but gets irritated at the teasing phase. She says it is OK, if her hubby does it once in a while. But this happens always, every other day. She also tried explaining to her hubby how hurt she gets when he talks like that always. But he replies that he likes to tease her and then console her. Sometimes he says he wont repeat it again, but cant keep his word for even an hour. He says he cant help it. So I gave this idea to do the same to him. She said she tried that too, but there was no reaction to that. Her hubby just ignored it.

    Now, my friend has a great married life, no real problems in life, but keeps complaining about this habit and gets hurt. Please tell me friends, is this really a problem? Or is my friend over-reacting? Any idea how to handle her hubby? Expert advise needed :thumbsup
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    Last edited: Nov 10, 2010
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  2. sridevi101

    sridevi101 Senior IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    yes this is a prob.. why he cnt change a little for her? why he is getting entertained in hurting her feelings? this has to be changed.
    women do sacrifice a lot buy men cannot just change so easily. it will take years for them to change. i believe..
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    might be ask her to try his trick on him....and see how he retaliates and give him his own medicine.
     
  4. ajain35

    ajain35 Senior IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Someone I know really well does the same. Actually the thing is it makes husband happy to see that wife is still jealous about him. It gives him confidence that he is still wanted and his wife still loves him. If she wants the teasing part to stop so will the cajoling part.

    Coming to how to stop.... she should not get annoyed but encourage her husband to go ahead and talk to that woman passing by or go ahead and marry someone else. Infact she should stop that woman and ask her to talk to her husband or show pictures os single woman to her husband. When the husband sees he can't get her jealous anymore he will stop himself. I am assuming her husband is of decent character.

    -AJ

    -AJ
     
  5. amnice

    amnice Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    It is not right for her husband to hurt her feelings this way knowingly and then console her. TOO BAD!!!
    But Iswarya, sometimes people need to be even taught to be sensitive to others feelings.
    In your friends case no matter what, he is just not listening or changing .......right?
    She has even tried doing the same to him and even that does not change him......right?

    Then the only option I can think of is........ IGNORING!!!!

    There is nothing as peaceful as ignoring someone's stupidity. Tell her to ignore him even if it is hurting. Try this and see. He is getting attention from her when he starts talking all rubbish so he thinks his motive to first hurt her is working well and hence continuing non stop.

    Once she starts ignoring this behaviour and foolish talk of his, then he may not find it interesting to carry on too.

    That being said, she can do one more thing too. I dont think anyone would like to opt for this. I myself hate to do it. This is join him in his NONSENSE talk. Tell her that whenever he starts this talk she should be asking questions like..."WOW!! Is that lady so beautiful, what is so attractive in her, what do you like in her? how does she look like, has she got big boobs? How is her butt? what is she wearing??blah, blah blah......all shameless talk which a woman may find it hard to do.........All the talk should concentrate on 'that woman and her body' only.

    That way your friends most insensitive husband may find it too awkward and odd for a woman ie., his wife, to be talking like this about another woman and he may get the message.

    Sometimes, these some men get the pleasure out of making a woman hurt assuming that the wife is actually being jealous. I mean they like it when the wife is jealous about other woman and insecured about her own looks.
    So, tell her to pose as though she is infact more interested in that other woman which may check her husband's nonsense.

    Iswarya, the world is full of all different varieties of people and mentalities so we need to try out different things and see which one fits as a perfect cure to the stupidity that we are surrounded by........
    Each situation is different and so if direct expressing our feelings does not work we need to find some other way.

    If I were in your friends situation I would IGNORE MY STUPID HUSBAND AND HIS RUBBISH TALK!!!!

    Good luck!!!!
     
  6. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Every day,every other hour seems too much.Seems like he likes to see her jealous and then derives happiness from consoling her.Everything is fine till the point the girl is ok...but apparently,she does not like it and is getting hurt.so it has to stop.once in a while is ok..but this will irritate anyone.tit for tat does not seem to work on him...how about telling him seriously or not talking for a while or similar ways to get the point across?
     
  7. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    If he is not decent this idea would backfire and at the same time OPs friend can see the true nature of her husband..either way...worth trying..
     
  8. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    I believe, he does not like to hurt her, but the cajoling part that happens later. But I dop agree, he needs to change a lil. Thanks for dropping in with your comments.
     
  9. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?


    She tried it, but she says her hubby did not react at all...
     
  10. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to handle teasing hubby?


    Thanks a lot for your advice. I will ask her to try it. BTW, your assumption is correct. He is really a very decent guy.
     

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