How To Forget Someone

Hello @daksh

Sorry I was late to respond here. Was very busy at work and personal matters.

The moment I read your thread, all I could remember was my times with my ex boss.
It was a decade back, when I was into my mid 20s, just married, and exploring my first international assignment at work.
I was so enthusiastic and ready to face any challenges with a new level of passion at work.
That helped my boss a lot, as he too was challenged and very passionate about making the work a huge success.
We were told that it is impossible to make a change in that place, and it was almost true as we had faced unimaginable challenges from all the fronts then.
I stood by my boss, been there as a very positive suppport when he tried anything new.
I was the only one among all the strangers in that new office for him to trust. I did not disappoint him with my utmost loyalty, which impressed him a lot.

Eventually we became very close to each other, yet officially though.
However, over the time, i felt like acting as his personal secretary, by handing almost everything of his.
He trusted me with his cash, personal info, documents and I repeatedly proved myself to be a very trustworthy girl.

In fact, it was none of my duty to handle his personal stuff, but I didn't have any problem handling them when he needed some support from someone reliable.

Each time when he praised me for that, and showed his thankfulness by giving me extra support at the work front with opportunities and stuff, I felt overwhelmed.
I started to like this new job a lot more, and was working so hard and smart towards success.

These days, we would travel together, talk a lot, and share a lot too profesionally.
He may seem supporting me a lot at the work front, and vise versa.
So, my colleagues would hint that my boss might become handicapped if I leave the work place.

He was unmarried and was nearly 40 by the time. But he knew that I was married and I take breaks then and there to visit my H in another country.
There was nothing we shared romantically. Though he had loads of interest about me and my future.

When I had to resign from there, we did feel very sad. We missed each other for sometimes.
In fact, he helped me a lot to secure a nice post at my H's place as I wanted to reunite with my H and start planning our family then.
He did all this without expecting any favor from me.

When I left the place, he did mentioned that I was the only trust worthy and loyal person he had ever interacted with. For that, my family, specially my H should be very lucky.

And he kept on mentioning that I could always depend on him should I need any support professionally or personally in the future.

For about 2-3 years after my departure, he kept on asking me at frequent intervals by mails whether I need any help regarding posting and stuff etc, we international staff are required to rotate every 2-3 years to different places.
Since I decided to be with family and kids, I always declined my help and secured a post in my home country.

Now that I have decided to be back in the international arena, and hence needed a strong reference from a high level person. I approached him. Without any hesitation, he willingly helped me by being my referee at various times in the past 2-3 years till I finally secured my dream post in a new country.

Upon knowing my success, he extended his contratulations, and asked me to update the progress of my new job.

In this decade long gap, we have never tried to see each other or shared anything unrelated to professional matters.
He is the only role model that I follow, and I have so much respect for him.
Even my H knows about him and the kind of relationship we have.
There is nothing to hide or feel bad or even to forget here. In fact, I still cherish those days I worked with him.

Don't you find anything similar to your case?
Why do you apply romantic colors to this beautiful professional relationship

Unless your ex boss has proposed to you directly or indirectly, or at least shown romantic gestures while at work, I don't think it is right to judge his emotions towards you wrongly.

It is possible that he might have professionally attracted by you, and liked your work or enthu or whatever the quality that you were showing at work.
It is possible that your work or professionalism helped him a lot, perhaps without your knowledge.
Therefore, he may have returned that favor by giving you right opportunities and support.
It is indeed a reality that work related connection occurs, and we tend to be more close to some staff than others.
In a 8+ long hrs on a daily work schedule, it is possible to have some closeness with a staff.
But it doesn't mean such closeness and emotions are always influenced by romantic motto.

Just relax.

Possibly your boss must have gotten some golden opportunity that he was waiting for; hence left.
He did his part better by helping you even at the last times.
It can be hurting to miss someone whom you felt close with. But this too shall pass.

Don't confuse this emotion with romance, and hence with guilt. This is what exaggerating your genuine emotions here.