@NatLuv thanks for reply yes sort of.... I've been around other religion often especially in school. I respect all religion and culture that's not a problem because we stick to ourselves es.. we don't talk to anyone unless spoken to. Yes twice a lady and a guy shout at our older child ,6, called her a little devil. The guy called our 7 yo son a brat, and another parent (from the school ) same religion as me (different country i think) tried to startle our 2 year old trying to climb stairs (maybe he thought village people steal or something ridiculous) but all these things happened, we can't move out of country right now and we get a few *stop walking and stare* type things too and extremely nosy neighbors across too even if we ignore these things we still get random complaints actually we just dealt with 1 government complaint last month... it's easy to ignore, but when it knocks on your door every month or so it's too much. maybe others don't have this problem we do
OP that sounds horrible! The abuse you and your children are suffering seems horrific! A tip for the clothes though- When I first came to join my husband in England he warned me about smells sticking. We always kept the kitchen door locked when I cooked so the smell wouldn't spread all over the house. When I had to go out I'd always change into a fresh pair of clothes. Never had any comments, so I guess it worked well.
@worries too much thx for reply... ya I think I'm just stay inside mostly and move elsewhere next year I've tried almost everything I love to use laxmi dhoop and now I feel I can't use, because the neighbors complain about it . I'm so tired now I thought we could stay here for more than 13 months so I think we r just keep moving every 13/14 months...
So true. Still we can be ourselves even in finer clothes. Once you get used to it to dress a little smarter it comes pretty natural anyway.
I'm so sorry, OP. To be honest I stayed in a university town in the north and not in London as such so I might be missing some points but- 1. You say your school staff are being rude to you- Most particularly by giving you Deodorants? That is borderline racist and I think you can complain to the school governors for this. That's singling out a child/parent and humiliating them so don't take it lying down. Complain. 2. People calling your children names- Who are they? Neighbors? Random people on the street? Other parents? If they're bullying you in a park setting I don't know what you can do but if it's a public place like a supermarket etc you can approach staff for help. 3. About Western clothes- Yes I understand the issue with you feeling uncomfortable in them. Have you tried maxi dresses? Or a good pair of jeans and a loose jumper or something? A good fitting coat can work wonders too for your confidence. I loved sweater dresses too, with leggings underneath- they were fitting and good looking without being vulgar if you know what I mean. Where did you grow up by the way? London? Or somewhere else in the UK? 4. If you really hate the area you are living in, can you move slightly to the suburbs- you can get a better house with more privacy. Maybe if the commute for your husband is not too long?
The for understanding... I always think maybe my thinking is wrong or something g but now I know I'm not crazy 4 feeling bad 1. Ya I asked our kids if they gave to everyone and what did they give to everyone else and they said they gave a gift to everyone ( I think just a small singled out groupe) and I'm sure they didn't give everyone deodorants and stuff... I know sometimes our house and car probably has a scent of methi sabzi, and the smoke from making rotis, but I always open a window and change clothes ( but I guess it doesn't work) mn pta, sometimes I'm frustrated and I just say OK if e, I'll go out in short skirt and bra and only cook frozen microwave food and the whole community is happy but I know it's ridiculous *sigh* and yes I'm not confrontational person at all but I did send them back . There are a few other desi at the private school but they seem a bit westernised and they blend in , but I do notice some other staff sre rude to them even and look at them strangely.. 2. Yes our son and daughter wanted a treat at the market but I didn't have enough money 4 it so they were frustrated and talking back and this Caucasian lady walked past and leaned in and said "ueah u look like a little devil that one!" And I just kind of chuckled and fake smiled and walked away saying oh no... its ok they r just tired lol so I just felt bad like I y is this stuff happening g to me? I stay to myself and never talk 2 anyone unless spoken to and I always smile and I never let others see me sad or frail. Maybe I just look like a good hate target or something 3. Actually I don't wear like torn old stained clothes I forgot to mention lol I wear like nice fitted salwar sometimes casual usually party wear covered with a knit Cardigan . I'll try the other options for clothing again. Last time I purchased western clothes they were OK looking but my husband didn't approve lol I looked like totally different person lol 4.i grow up in a small "village " of my people but it's in the west however we rarely saw outsiders all of us same lol many westerners avoid our village/town A better life seems out of the West and back to the east☺ we cannot move at the moment I keep asking him but he refuse he likes the fast paced western lifestyle but l find it really frustrating lol thanks for understanding I don't feel so alone
