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how to deal with in laws.......

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cpriyanka, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    Hi friends..

    I got married few months ago..ours is a love marriage and we were in a realtionship for nearly 5 years..we got married in kind of hurry as my husband's granny wasn't keeping well..hence i ended up getting married before completing my education..
    My in laws are supportive for my career and so they are ok with me staying at my parents place during examination period..
    I am kind of cleanliness freak..it is just that i need things to be organised and not messy..but my mother-in-law doesn't keep house clean which annoys me and so i don't like staying at their place..as i keep on avoiding going at in laws place..i end up having fight with my husband..

    I don't really know how to handle this situation..how to tell them the problem i am facing..
     
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  2. Megalife

    Megalife Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Cprianka
    Try to understand that your MILzz old and may not have the energy to keep the house immaculately clean! It is your house as well, you stay there with your DH; so why not take the initative and go on a cleaning speer (may be ur Dh could join in too), do it a couple of times and be triple rewarded; the house will be clean, your in-laws will get the message and also appreciate your initiative and the best;;; less mariatal discomfort.
    Mega
     
  3. brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    Isnt it your House too???Why dont you take initiative to clean up? The old lady may have Physical problems to do the chores.
     
  4. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Do it yourself dear...why not do yourself and tell them how clean it looks...you will also get appreciated.
     
  5. riyagan

    riyagan Gold IL'ite

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    i understand this prob... and that is the most disgusting... but the comedy is my mil will find dirt and dust and show it to me when i clean the floor..and give advises... thank god...i escaped from that devil's place.
     
  6. meVaidehi

    meVaidehi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi priyanka,
    Is it too messy and dirty or just not perfectly neat and clean?
    First you need to understand it has been her house for years and thats her way of keeping her house. And your husband has been living there in same conditions. What does he think about it? If you start finding faults and stating this as reason to not go there its obviously irritating for them. Instead of fighting, why don't you start doing it your way step by step without crossing the line and making them feel you are changing everything. You should be happy for the fact that they are supportive towards your education and not creating problems like many others.
    There is one more thing. Ask yourself is it really that big issue or just an excuse for you to avoid going there. I'm not blaming you but maybe the marriage happened so suddenly that you are not mentally prepared for leaving your mom's house and staying with ILs. If that's the case, think of the ways to make yourself comortable there like spending more time with them and husband doing things you enjoy, watching movies, playing some family games or something.
    Good luck. Don't worry this phase will pass too.
    Vaidehi
     

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