How to act smart or how to safeguard myself

Hi All,

I need some suggestions/tips here...its going to be a lengthy post

I received my onsite oppurtunity starting of this year and i am staying with my friend who was already in this place (1 year and working in my same project,same department)..my friend(also my family friend) was staying alone and my husband asked me to go and stay with her..i had a plan to bring my kid(along with my mother/mil) here and hence decided to take a house here...even if she gets married(her spouse might come here to stay),we all can be in the same house...one more thing to add,she was the main reason for my onsite oppurtunity and i am grateful to her for that..

but my plan dint work..i couldnt bring my kid and its only me and her staying here...

i had a small break in my project(delivery) during which she gained enough knowledge in my project became popular as well..and even after my break,i couldnt work as i used to be like staying long hours and working over the weekends and since she was unmarried/workaholic,she gained enough power during that time..i dont mind all these,its because of her hardwork,she is like that...

now let me tell my problems...
we both come and leave at the same time..she helps me in getting groceries,outing etc etc ,sometimes takes care of cleaning the house,but cooking i get no help...she is not used to cooking...now since her wedding is fixed,she is all time chatting with her would-be after she reaches home...i get no help in cooking/cutting veges...i cannot go and ask an outsider for help all the time...i expect her to help me...
i dont have breakfast,i have fruits/milk btu i make sure i prepare breakfast for her..prepare lunch,pack it and go to my room...get ready and we both start for office...i get no help in this time..

my regular schedule---waking up in the morning..preparing breakfast/lunch,goto office,slog like hell..come back and prepare food...in this time,she gives no help...she is otherwise a caring friend and takes care of me and talks to me freely..she even says that i slog like this but other than that,no help...past 1 month,she has started washing vessels(only in the night) but for me,it does help..but i find no help..she expects everything in hand for which since 2 months i have put my foot down and said i cant bring and give her things...i prepare it and she can help herself..she feels hurt when i say this...

its me who takes reminders for all bills,anything and everything about home and she will be willing to come along but doesnt help in reminding,noting down the groceries,nothing...

i cant wait for her to cut veges/wash the vessels/prepare cooking because we are living outside india and gettting vegetarian food is really very difficult and costly...

after all these,she keeps mocking me/pulling my legs often..take this example
i told her that my husband is coming for few days and she asked me about going to the airport for which i said i ll manage...initially she said fine and later started telling "why are you leaving me and going"..i said you can do the same if your husband comess...she said "i dont mind u coming...but u wantedly want to drop me and go...i will make sure that i come with you to the airport and see what you are doing"..unnecesarily she mocks me,it irritates me badly...this might sound silly for many of you but the problem is this is the not the first..for each adn everything she ll make fun./mock me....me on the other side,really feel hurt/bad..infact i have told many times i dont like this mockery,i am getting hurt ..she says ok but the next time she ll start...sometimes she ll say "u told not to mock"..and she ll keep repeating this as if i did somethig wrong...for the past 1 month,i give her back nicely when she repeats and she feels deelpy hurt and asks why am i behaving like this all of a sudden..i even tried explaining that its because of her behaviour that triggers me for which she says sorry sometimes/says she wont repeat but she repeats it...

the main problem for me is i really dont know how to talk back..i always feel i should not hurt people with my words but if people keep on hurting me inspite of my warnings,i get very angry,i dont feel bad for using harsh words...

i cant change my house as we have taken this house for 1 year min and that too under my name..so i cant change till i cmplete 1 year here...and i cant ask her to go as the rent is too costly...we are sharing,i cant afford to pay the whole amout by myself...if would be way too difficult for me to save anything

sometimes she plays at office as well(or i feel she is playing)...i too am a hardworking person but she knows stuff better than me,i accept it...but she tries not to tell much information on any issue so that she ll be the single point of contact...and makes dependancy there...i am trying to get information in some way she does show her authority at some place..no one at office can question here as she is really a good resource...but the hardwork that i am putting is the same as what she is putting ...if she is doing more work for her level,so am i...so its not lke i am not working..

overall letme tell how both of our normal day is
me::wake up at 7AM,prepare breakfast for her along with coffee(i dont drink coffee)..prepare lunch for both of us...pack food..cut and pack fruits for evening ..keep on table...get ready...goto office...hectic day on all days...reach home min 8.30PM..again prepare dinner...cut veges for next day and keep things ready..by this time i get really tired

my friend::wake up after 8.30AM..get ready..eat the breakfast,asks me to get coffee which nowadays i have stopped telling everything is ready adn she can do by herself...goto office...hectic schedule...reach home(both of us reach home the same time)...after she reaches home,she ll take rest,start chatting with wud-be...eat ,chat with me for 1/2 hour and also if there is no call from her wud-be ..goto sleep...very rarely asks if i need help...sometimes sweeps the floor

if weekend,i wake up a little late,start doing small cleaning work,start preparing food...the same thing continues..if we go out,we eat out but mostly we come home and eat...she on the other hand wakes up really late after 12PM and expects me to keep things ready...breakfast i told her that i wont prepare over the weekends and if she wants she can prepare on her own,this too she got hurt but i cant help as i had told ..i usually prepare lunch a little early(but not always,maybe in the usual time)..she cribs if i get late saying "u dint give breakfast atleast u should get food ready..yiou are making me starve"..have lunch...then goes back to her room and starts chatting...this will be the same for weekends..if we go out,we chat...sometimes she wipes the fllor..once in 2-3 weeks...she ll arrange things...do little cleaning...nothing more

if i ask why she is always pulls my leg,she says just for fun and its only me who is taking it seriously...i say "if u say once or twice,i am fine but not all the time.." and infact told her "i dont ilke people playing pranks on me" thinking it would stop her...

so friends i need all your suggestions to act smart/get this burden from my head...i cant fully hurt her ,tell her i cant prepare food as anyways she is my friend and she was with me for the past 6 years,helped me in getting an onsite,takes care of me,she is a support for me..i dont expect her to work on everything,not take everything ,not even do half of what i am do but some help...even if no help is provided,atleast stop mocking me...
office i cant help...as she is workwise senior..but i need to again gain some confidence/respect as i too am a capable person

so help me friends...tell me how i can be smart?...how to overcome her mockery:hide::bonk

Thanks in Advance

 

thanks for your suggestions but i really cant follow both of them..reasons
(1)Veg food is difficfult to get and very costly as well...i am not used to eating outside food..so i have to cook
(2)i do have remote access but there is practically i really cant do just by reading the code..i mean sorry ,my proj is like that
thanks for taking time and responding Bow

Hi soulful

i really want to know how to pull her legs or i am not sure if i am really that sensitive. :bonk
i have already tried telling that she needs to cook since she is getting married,she accepts it but actually never takes steps...and i really cant sit back and wait to see whether she ll entery the kitchen or not..thats the problem

Hi lucky
actually it was me who started to prepare brekfast..but it became a habit...
the prob in me is i dont mind doing things,i just cant take these comments..thats the prob
any solutions for that??
thanks for your concern,i dont skip breakfst...i have oats and fruits everyday as my breakfst...
if i say that i am not feeling well,she ll try to make me cook/sometimes even just sit..but me on the other side cant sit hungry and start preparing something

i have highlighted that she needs to help but it just doesnt work...statying at the same palce and not cooking for the other person,actually i just dont feel so good...she is my friend and i really cant keep the food in front of her and eat...she doesnt mind even if i say,we ll eat out..but i cannot eat out all the time

thanks but i actually do respect myself a lot...i know my capacity and feel proud about me many times...
i feel i dont have to change myself...as i have done nothing wrong
since we are 2 people at home,and she does support me,i feel making coffee/breakfast for her is an issue..i just want to counter her comments,looking for help in this aspect
If you have some suggestions for this,i am waiting to hear


Thanks a lot all ladies for your suggestions...but i really want to know how to talk back/avoid myself from getting hit by her comments...i dont mind cooking breakfst/making coffee for her..she is not compltely bad that i could completely avoid her or stop making food at home

need more suggestions from you all

thanks in advance