How Much Teaching Is Needed For Young Kids?

priyanka12345 · Aug 4, 2017

SGBV said: ↑

My kids will be 7 and 4 very shortly, and both of them are in elementary schools.
As though there is a government rule that kids under the age of 8 shouldn't be ranked or their marks shouldn't be discussed openly after their term examinations in School. But practically these class teachers reveal the marks of the kids, and explicitily tell the parents about their ranks too. That too in the parents' meeting!!!
Just that, they don't mention anything other than "A" or "B" in their report card.

My son is accedamically doing good. He takes over 90 in all the subjects. But not 100%.
There are at least 5-6 kids who score nearly 100% in each or more than 1 subject each time. This makes my son to become 7-8 in the ranking.

I am perfectly fine with this though. I used to teach him almost daily from 6-7, using sample papers, text books etc, which includes his regular home-work times as well.
He goes to tuition from 3-5 in the eve, and does papers and revisions of what he used to study in School.
During exams, I make them forcefully sit and study for more than 2 hrs daily and during weekends.
He gets very bored to study for long hrs, and easily gets diverted.
His little sister is another disturbance, as she needs his company to play; thus interrupts him while he is studying.

For me, this itself a little too much. I feel bad for him at times. He is a very lively, and active kid who loves to play outside of the home almost all the time.
Besides, I get very stressed with this routine, as I have a full time job outside of the house from 9-5.
This is in addition to the household chores I perform daily such as cooking 3 times (mostly), cleaning the house (sweeping, dusting and sometimes moping) and looking after the kids like taking them to tuition (after my office times), dressing them, bathing them, feeding them dinner & breakfast and finally putting them to sleep (that includes reading for them etc).
Even though we have maid, I do these things as I am required to do them.
Kids often need me spontaneously and becoming a referee often when they fight is yet another task.
So I can do only so much here.

My friend's and relative's kids are around the same age as my kids, and study in the same School too.
Many such kids scores great marks, and show great interest in their studies.
In fact, my buddies (ladies) are very much behind their kids, like taking them to tuition, following up with their studies, teach them at home for longer hrs, work with them while they do home-works etc... Looks like they spend almost all their times with these kids!!!

Looking at the way their kids were trained and prepared for the exams, I feel my son is doing really better than them. Because his marks are just 1-2 lesser than them, but he won't spend that many hrs for studies, or that many coaching from elders either.

But my mom often blames me, criticizes me and compares me to those my buddies to put me down, as if I am a bad mom who cares less about kids, but more about career, money, husband etc..

Her reasoning is that I often think about my job, work, appreciations, performance etc, but my friends have chosen an easy job like teachers , clerks even though the pay is very less, but they get to spend quality and flexible times with their kids.

Secondly, I do so much for my H. He doesn't like the way our maids cook. He is diabetic, and I consider a lot about what he eats. So, I personally cook for him (thus for all at home), and cook home made food for 3 times, so that he shouldn't have to eat from outside.
I ensure that his needs are met at home, like tea or coffee as much as he wants. This way, I often gets up and go to kitchen from kid's study room ; thus they get disrupted.

I know some poor kids, whose parents work full time (in the field or small jobs), but their kids get excellent marks despite of studying in normal Govt schools. How?
And such kids become the toppers too? How?

I always want my kids to be independent with minimal support, and I want them to love their studies, and make it interesting.
I can always be in the back side to encourage them, but just like those buddies of mine, I can't spend all my times beside my kids to educate them like cat or monkey parenting.

Besides, my career isn't just my passion, but it helps our family to stand steady and live independently; so my kids are benefiting a lot from this.
If I dont work or opt for a normal job, my family would suffer a huge financial loss; thus we will have to be on adjusting mode all the time.

Like my mom's wish, my H won't take up any huge or double shift work to compensate my salary at all. He will remain the same, and this is what he can do. Period.

I can ignore my mom's work as usual, and do my best.
But I am confused since she blames me, and it is about my kid's future.

I need some validation here. I am open to any criticism as well.
Click to expand...

Hi,

My son is also turning 6 now. I think the study time is too much personally. 3-5 tution and then 6-7 you take studies.. isnt that too much? And what extra do you do apart from teaching same thing taught in tution. Yes during exam its ok to take their revision but everyday tution+parent's teaching would be hectic on kid.

Do they really need tution? IF you spend 6-7 everyday and make him learn and do homework, i dont think they need tution. The concepts should be clear and that what will matter later..

At this age they also want to study, play. They are good at public speaking or singing. So they are spending time there as well which they enjoy. Similarly if you cut down on time for studies they might be able to learn that much only in shorter time frame.While comparing the marks of your kids to others do you think on how the others do in extra curricular activities?I think you are also ending up like your mother.. comparing marks etc but they cant be compared. Every person is different and has different abilities. As long as he understands conceptually and applies it in exam you should be good. Please dont overburden them with more hrs of study.

You mentioned that other kids study longer hrs but its similar to what your son knows. Because concentration for such small kids cannot be for longer hrs. whatever we teach after 1 hr or 1.5 hr max will be waste.. they wont grasp that easily is what I feel.

stephanjohn · Aug 4, 2017

Do not push your son too hard. He is doing pretty good. The traditional school system of keeping parents-teacher's meetings can't be changed but you can discuss with the staff so as not to mention your child's marks publicly. Keep motivating your child and do not let anyone compare your child's marks in front of him.

Agniamber11 · Aug 4, 2017

Hello OP, Dont fret too much. If you feel, he is not scoring 100, then just look at the places where he is not doing well. It may be silly mistakes, unable to comprehend the answer, etc. Focus on that area where he is weak and work on it. Remember its not the quantity but quality of hours for study that matters. Generally children need help till they are 10years. Then, they manage on their own. Again its very subjective. Also 100 marks isnt a benchmark!

Also when we were students, we used to have Homework book. This was done purposely to write each answer 2-3 times in primary class. This made reinforcement and recall strong. Nowadays, that concept is not there. Try maintaining a book at home and make him write.

Introduce different ways of teaching to him. It need not be limited to textbook learning. Try getting examples from life and incorporate in his studies.Whenever we co-relate to outside world, I have seen children tend to grasp better. Lets not make studies a monotonous boring affair. It can be interesting too. You can introduce role plays, dramas, quiz, story telling format to him. See if he enjoys this .

Since you have to cook 3 times a day and have a full time job, try to do weekly preps and make a timetable.If possible ask your maid to cut veggies. It will save your time. You are doing very well in balancing your life. Dont worry .

paru123 · Aug 4, 2017

At such a young age, your child is indeed getting good marks. Why bother much. You have already arranged for his tutions and have other responsibilities to look after. I would suggest if the tutuion teacher is doing a good work, you could even ignore teaching him again for 1 hour. Just reduce it to must be a supervision. Ignore your mom's comparison. Every child is different. I would have had a concern only if the marks go below 75%.