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How many are wearing Thali/Mangalsutra ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mlk2009, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. Virus

    Virus New IL'ite

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    I totally think that almost all the traditions we follow have a scientific / logical explanation.. I lived with my in laws for 2 years before relocating to Canada - I never wore Mangalsutra / toe rings /bindi / sindoor.. just because i did not want to.. Both my husband and I just wear wedding rings.. No one forced or questioned me except my distant relatives... at the same time - if i am going to temple - I go all traditional ..
    PS: I am a South Indian married to North Indian - but not inter caste.. ! pretty much the same traditions..
     
  2. Virus

    Virus New IL'ite

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    I totally think that almost all the traditions we follow have a scientific / logical explanation.. I lived with my in laws for 2 years before relocating to Canada - I never wore Mangalsutra / toe rings /bindi / sindoor.. just because i did not want to.. Both my husband and I just wear wedding rings.. No one forced or questioned me except my distant relatives... at the same time - if i am going to temple - I go all traditional ..
    PS: I am a South Indian married to North Indian - but not inter caste.. ! pretty much the same traditions..
     
  3. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    Who said wearing thaali or not wearing thaali makes someone great? It is an individual preference. As far as I am concerned. I do not like to wear anything on my neck for an extended period of time. I sweat a lot and I want to wear as light as possible. That is the reason I tend not to wear any jewellery. But if someone forces me to wear a thaali in the name of traditions, I will resist it and ask all kind of questions. That is my right and I will exercise it. I have been questioning traditions and customs since I was a kid and I will not stop that because I am married. And as far as declaring to the world that I am married, I wear toe rings and never remove them. So I think that would suffice. And as far as removing negative energies because of wearing gold,is that only helpful for women? Why dont I see one man wearing gold on daily basis? Heck, my husband does not even wear a wedding ring as a sign of being married. And if someone asks me to wear something that I am not comfortable wearing, I will question. Especially when there are double standards like in my husband's case. Wearing ocassionally or wearing a thaali that is not as big, I maybe comfortable. Everything does not apply to everyone. But just because of asking and trying to point this fact does not make me a fool. And at the same time someone who is wearing a thaali and following traditions does not make them great.
     
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  4. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    Who said wearing thaali or not wearing thaali makes someone great? It is an individual preference. As far as I am concerned. I do not like to wear anything on my neck for an extended period of time. I sweat a lot and I want to wear as light as possible. That is the reason I tend not to wear any jewellery. But if someone forces me to wear a thaali in the name of traditions, I will resist it and ask all kind of questions. That is my right and I will exercise it. I have been questioning traditions and customs since I was a kid and I will not stop that because I am married. And as far as declaring to the world that I am married, I wear toe rings and never remove them. So I think that would suffice. And as far as removing negative energies because of wearing gold,is that only helpful for women? Why dont I see one man wearing gold on daily basis? Heck, my husband does not even wear a wedding ring as a sign of being married. And if someone asks me to wear something that I am not comfortable wearing, I will question. Especially when there are double standards like in my husband's case. Wearing ocassionally or wearing a thaali that is not as big, I maybe comfortable. Everything does not apply to everyone. But just because of asking and trying to point this fact does not make me a fool. And at the same time someone who is wearing a thaali and following traditions does not make them great.
     
  5. Virus

    Virus New IL'ite

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    Questioning the traditions is very good..I also belong to the same category and I am very happy that almost everything has a logic to it.. I do not question anyone but i google - I do it so I can pass on the traditions to my kids (when i have one) after giving the reasoning and it is up to them to follow or not..
     
  6. Virus

    Virus New IL'ite

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    Questioning the traditions is very good..I also belong to the same category and I am very happy that almost everything has a logic to it.. I do not question anyone but i google - I do it so I can pass on the traditions to my kids (when i have one) after giving the reasoning and it is up to them to follow or not..
     
  7. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Samswait, peace please, I am not having any tiff with you. My point too, wearing thali does not remove "negative" energies, at least I don't think so, that is a matter that will be always under dispute. I don't think wearing anything will remove something. You are right, why not men wear it? Yes, I think men and women should wear something. These traditions were made at a time when there was no family planning, no contraception no such concepts. To have kids was considered a boon, a blessing, the more, the merrier. But I guess people in those days wanted to give women some slack. Is it possible biologically for a woman to keep satisfying a man's needs all the time. In those days, when sleeping meant a pregnancy and women could have had up to a dozen kids, people probably thought it was not pragmatic for women to keep satisfying a man's needs all their life. I guess they thought it was too much of an expectation from women to satisfy a man all his life. Now is that fair? Couldn't they have just asked men to behave themselves and stop seeking gratification once they reached an age? Are we able to do that now samswait? With so many laws passed and so much progress in technology are we able to stop men from behaving like the way they are? The bitter truth is it is a man's world. Men made laws and they will make them convenient for themselves, by design itself, we are different. Why is a man biologically able to bear kids till his death whereas a woman's stops beyond an age? Could not have both have been such that beyond an age they can't reproduce anymore? Yes, men should have to wear something now, in today's society. If I made the laws today, I would advocate men wearing something, not just women. I would advocate for both, that would be equal. I see your frustration in not wearing because you don't like being told about it. It's okay sometimes to hear sermons, it is fine, the only thing that should matter is, is it correct. You do what appeals to you, don't think about others. My mother stopped wearing toe rings because the skin around her toes would just peel out if she wore them. She had an allergic reaction to silver. I wanted to take them out but my in-laws and husband don't like it. I have no reaction so I am wearing them. My point is we should respect marriage, respect harmony within marriage, no stress placed on either parties in the name of equality. If both wife and husband don't want to cook, get a viable solution, make it work, give some breathing space. No exertion of power in a relationship. Unfortunately I see that some women are doing it blatantly while expecting other women to follow the rules. I have seen the ugly side of feminism to put it in a nutshell. This person saw to it that I suffered physical violence, made my life miserable, and showed me raw hell. It was all about her and her ugly display of power and showing "respect" to her. She saw disrespect where there was none, on the whole, I got to suffer badly. Now I think it is better to suffer and became strong than rebel and become a weakling. Rebelling to the extent of protecting self is fine, the day rebelling means catering to ego, I would back out. At the end of the exercise, I became a total conservative, leaning towards spirituality and I hate the idea of feminism now, at least the ones that are advocated nowadays. Everybody has to have same rules, not as per their bullying power. As long as your conscience is clear, you should be okay with anything. I would not rub my views on anyone, but those are my thoughts. I was just trying to express an alternate viewpoint.
     
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  8. sslkgpaa

    sslkgpaa Gold IL'ite

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    I am south indian raised in north india (UP). I didnt see any similarity in the traditions. (comparing in the same caste). Just to give you a glimpse, i was totally surprised in a wedding of my close friend where from the groom's side none of the ladies were present in wedding ceremony leave alone wedding procession (not even groom's mother). I was told that women from groom side stay at home to welcome the newly wed couple.
     
  9. spicychai

    spicychai New IL'ite

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    I grew up in Canada but always saw my Mother and Father continue with our South Indian traditions at home. I loved seeing my Mother always wearing her thali (under as per south indian customs)/mangalsutra and toe rings. I have been married for almost 1.5 years now, in Canada and I continue to do the same. My husband (who is North Indian) and in laws do not force me but I do it because I consider it to be special to me as a married woman and I am proud of it. :) Definitely a sweet conversation topic!
     
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  10. Stardust1990

    Stardust1990 Senior IL'ite

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    I do wear mine as they aren't so heavy. I had it made light
     

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