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How Do I Stop Missing My Friend ?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Aug 8, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    leaving back to USA in a couple of days...

    My best friend lives in India and every time I make a trip..she goes all the way to make me feel so happy with my stay.She introduced me to her other friends here and we clicked.We went on nightouts,amazing restaurants,short trips,talks and more talks..and I have laughed so much this time and was so happy.This happens every time.

    Time To go back..I honestly don’t have any social life and my relatives who live there are a totally different ball game altogether!

    I am going to miss my friend.My trips will be there once in two years from
    Now on coz kiddo threw such a tantrum this time Despite getting her toys,taking her places,parks ..she is bored and tough to entertain her all the time as she is getting older also.

    Some fear that my friend will drift away..she is highly social and has too many friends here and though she is nice to me,I don’t know if she will
    Miss me as she has enough people around her.we talk so much in India when we meet but once we I leave abroad,talks are so much lesser.

    Will my friendship sustain?I will miss her..Hope I don’t get forgotten.
     
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  2. rgz

    rgz Silver IL'ite

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    Anika,
    I dont say this in a rude way at all. But , reading so many of your threads, take it in a nice way - but you really need to grow up, and be comfortable with adult life trade-offs and adult day to day life. Its not always about partying, and good friends are always part of our lives.

    Do you realize you whine and complain a lot? Not saying that’s entirely wrong, but it will become less if you decide to grow up to accept your adult life.

    You seem to want so much thadavi-kuduthufying-you (mollycoddling) from IL-ites and they always oblige, but not sure if IL-ites doing that always is hindering your growth. Something for you to ponder...
     
  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Nice of you to value your friendship.
    You can always be in touch with her thru social media.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Take a cue from your friend. She is happy to see you and goes out of her way for you during your visit, but she also has a busy life of her own and is not pining about what she will do once you go back.
     
  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika, Anika, Anika ! For once, I have to agree with Rgz. There is more to life than partying with friends and having long chats. :facepalm:
     
    Dhamini, pinkRoseBud, shravs3 and 5 others like this.
  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hmm true..but some things which I never got when I was young,dont have a social life abroad..so maybe my yearning is reflected..Will self introspect
     
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    My best friend is here from US and we enjoyed a lot going out, meeting other friends , short trips etc. Tomorrow again we are meeting for the festival and then she's back to US travelling in the weekend . :smile: and our life moves on until we meet next. It's a simple thing.

    Will I miss her. Yes I will. Will she miss me. Yes she will. But that's it. We try to stay in touch through video calls ,voice calls etc. Not very often. But maybe once in a couple of months.

    Last year when I was in the US for work I extended my stay there and spent a week with her and we enjoyed a lot. Lot of times talk arises where she says she'll book tickets for me and I should visit her again in the US. Not that I can't afford to go again in my expense but it's something I would avoid given that my work here keeps me occupied and I can visit her when I go again there on some other purpose.

    You can ask your friend to visit you for a couple of weeks or a month to the US and you can take her around the places and again you can enjoy with her. In that way you will also be happy of hosting her once.

    As others said try to introspect why there's no social life for you in the US?
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2019
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  8. rgz

    rgz Silver IL'ite

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    :sunglasses: It is "for once" because IL-ites normally expect to give a lot more latitude for most OP's "complaints", and I call a spade a spade pretty quickly if it is due to pampered/not-grown-up-yet versus a real/serious worry/complaint, I have less tolerance to mollycoddle on most things unless it really warrants so. I expect some 'normal' (not high) levels of normal mental-toughness in adults and sometimes very surprised to see it lacking in more folks than we'd expect to.
    Either way, glad about the 'for once' :grinning-smiley-048:
     
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  9. suasin

    suasin Gold IL'ite

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    Anika,
    Not to be seen in bb thread?? :)
    Think, the vacation is the kids', whenever we come here, they are missing their friends..here also, noone free to play with.. Usually by the time we get back, the kids will be happy to leave and that's our cue. We have as much responsibility towards the kids social life as we have for us.
    I wanted to tell you in the previous thread as well, life in India is so much fun because we are not here always.. Do you think we can have this much fun if we are here permanently? Most of my friends adjust their schedule n accomodate me because we are on a short trip. If you stay here permanently, you will realize that they don't have that much time for us..
    A school night is always early, you can't shop n party every weekend.. Think about it..
    The grass is always greener..
    That said, make friends in the US, need not be Indian.. There are other nice people around for sure.. :)
     
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  10. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    You need to make new friends @anika987 !!! Women all over the world bond over similar things.. We like to talk, share experiences,gossip, have someone to complain about life, validate our feelings etc.. The key to making friends is to spending time together.. thats why its easy to make good friends in university where you spend a lot of time together.. I would suggest you to either do a course or to take up some work where you will have opportunity to spend with other women.. Growing older doesn't mean you have to give up having fun and having good friends is a very precious blessing..
     
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