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How Do I Say No

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vedhavalli, Oct 12, 2019.

  1. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...you have a very cheap, selfish and utterly shameless friend .

    Why are you searching for on line classes for her?
    :facepalm:
    Not knowing ones mother tongue is neither life threatening nor an emergency.

    Tell her you have no time to teach your own child ...and you always have family plans on vacation and weekends.

    Tell her to get her mother in law to live with her who can teach both mother and son the mother tongue.:rolleyes:
     
  2. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    I did that today, and she immediately started talking to another mom without replying.
    All these days I was a nice happy friend to her, helped during many occasions.
    I think she thought she can ask me unreasonable favours, and thinking it's okay to ask her.
    If I step saying no. I can't. People don't like it.
    Thank you. After speaking with her I'm straight away logging n replying you.
     
    kveena likes this.
  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Yes it's the fees, time and distance to drive back and forth. Adding the most convenient time when she is free.
    Omg I don't understand people spend 1000s dollars for tennis, classical dance, robotics classes, piano. But when it comes to arts or language they start to think about money time.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    As yellowmango said..she is such a cheap,selfish and utterly worthless to even call her a friend.

    please avoid her and save your energy
     
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  5. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Funny part is she openly spilled 'i searched many places nothing near me, plus have to put time on it, for language it's much , thought why you can't teach'.
    I was a raging bull after hearing that. Told " no I can't, because my kid itself goes to language classes, if I can teach why would I spend time and money on it, I can't teach anyone" in a most neutral tone, suppressing my anger.
     
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  6. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    @Vedhavalli These interactions are not for naught. You can now start judging who is a real friend and who is a user. Drop this woman like a hot potato and move on. "No" is a complete sentence.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    That lady is really ridiculous!!!

    I am stunned she can even expect or try to manipulate someone like that..does she have any conscience?

    Anyways..you did well.you told what needs to be said:)
     
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  8. kveena

    kveena Platinum IL'ite

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    hehe the cat is shamelessly out of the bag.
     
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  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Yes such people exist. This time I had set boundaries and said no. 2 yrs back I was innocent naive gave rides for school pick up and grocery shopping as a lady didn't know driving.
    One day I said no, from then till now she doesn't talk to me. Though we had to meet in common groups.
     
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  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Good riddance...better to not maintain friendship with such people who can’t respect people’s space and boundaries and keep asking for free favours..
    Good you were able to speak up...
    During my student days an acquaintance with whom I attended some classes requested to share cab, auto etc with me as her home was on the way to mine...I,e while returning back...she used to make some excuse or the other to not share the auto or cab fare..some days she would be busy talking in mobile during the ride so that she could pretend to forget to pay her share...I saw for a few days and despite reminding her She used to make excuses..then I became alert...I told her I’m taking bus as auto and taxi are little costly as I’m alone paying entire fare,,...few Times I told I have some other plan I,e Need go to super market or some other shop nearby to pick up items beforehand going home etc..so told her to make her arrangements and not wait for me...even then she’s could have settled her share and suggested to share cab next time.. it she didn’t..
    After that she dint pester me that much , she didn’t bother showing much interest in talking to me much either...so I guess I was just a hi bye friend for her..
    Faced many such experiences...so I’m always grateful when some one does a favour for me and I always repay by doing some other help...but how ever nice someone is to me , I’m very very careful not to take advantage of them.
     
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