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High School Stress

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by SKoundinya, Dec 30, 2019.

  1. SKoundinya

    SKoundinya New IL'ite

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    My son is Sophomore in US High school, he is working hard, good behaviour kid, socially want to be freindly,
    I have two issues want to discuss/vent out and want to relate to other parents and take their inputs.

    His school friends are so independant, not want to mingle much, school has good rating, every one is very focused on GPA, comepetititve school, in that way I am happy as it motivates my son to get good GAP. as a teenager, I expect him to be in touch with friends on chat/social media, hang out once in a while, plan a movie, chill out by talking on phone etc. but I rarely see conversations in chat, no laughs, no giggles, what is going on with kids.. they are all defenitely high honors/honors kids, very studious, but cannot mix , is this how teenagers behave in US, especially our Indian origin kids? my son is born here. I am worried he is becoming alone and may affect his mental health.

    Another issue is , he is getting disappointed and also losing confidence why he is not getting good grades even though workin hard, he is loosing confidence whenever he see C grades for which he expected more.. I have a plan to meet the couple of teachers individually and take their advice.. We are supporting him morally to be strong and dont lose the confidence and try to learn from mistakes and dont regret, but on and off this is frequent at home that he is becoming sad for less grades in tests and we are boosting him to give his best and we are also telilng him that we are not yelling on you or keeping high expectations, just be easy on your studies. do your best.. how do I support him, there are no parents here who share their concerns and everyone's children excelling in different activities other than studies, they are not my path to understand my worries , sothis is making me helpless..
    For high schoolers to get good grades, pelase sugegst the books/online websties on Math/Engligh/APUSH/Biology/AP Mobile CSP.
    We put the personal tutoring on couple of subjects whatever he need , hoping to improve his grades. I am having sleepless nights sometimes when I see my son worrying.

    Pelase advice.
    SK
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

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    The first issue - is it possible that the apparent lack of socialization bothers you more than it bothers him? Does he have lunch with some kids regularly? Hangs out with them at recess? If he doesn't particularly miss having friends outside of school and is fine with not being in touch with them by social media, then there is nothing to worry. Clubs are a good way to socialize. If he is not already part of a club or two, he can choose one and try it for a few weeks.

    The second issue - how were his grades in 8th and 9th grades? Did he mostly study by himself or needed help with the content, needed supervision to finish assignments and homework in time? You have asked for books and websites on all 5 courses except for foreign language. Is he having trouble with all subjects? Meeting the teachers is a good first step. You could also set up a meeting with his counselor. In the email requesting a meeting, describe only the second issue, and place emphasis on how you parents help him maintain his confidence and keep trying. Make it clear that as parents you and your husband do not place importance on grades, and are only concerned about his confidence going down and want to help him learn skills that will help in 11th grade. I am saying this because otherwise the counselor might assume it is the typical pushy Indian parent worried about grades.
    To see child worrying is a million times harder than worrying about the child. Hang in there. You are trying your best, you are reaching out to all sources for help. Things will fall into place.

    Almost every parent and high-schooler deal with some problems or the other. Don't go by just the awards and honors winners names listed in the school website or the impressive linkedIn profiles of the students.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2019
  3. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

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    The AP CSP course is one where the curriculum is broadly defined by the College Board but individual implementation varies a lot from teacher to teacher. Within the same school district also, it can be taught in very different ways. You said Mobile CSP, so looks like this is the one the teacher is following: https://course.mobilecsp.org/mobilecsp/course

    If that is the one, then what you can do is look for tutors in local craigslist or just google city name and CS tutor. Give that potential tutors the link to the course curriculum, what kind of help your son needs, how often, and see if the tutor can help. The key is to try and identify the exact nature of help your son needs in the subject. For example, does he need help with the programming part? The essay writing kind of projects? The research part? What kind of projects and assignments does the teacher usually assign? Give all this information to the potential tutors and see if they understand what kind of help is needed.
     
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  4. SKoundinya

    SKoundinya New IL'ite

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    Thanks Rihana on your input and support. I hired a tutor for Math, he still has to work on time management to finish his homeworks.. escpeically AP homeworks are long and time taking, counsellor also gave some tips.
     
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  5. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    does he take in any outside activity, sports / music. if not please try to put, i totally get it high school is busy.

    strong physical activity will help release the stress.

    just sharing my 2 cents , my kid is in middle school, so i learnt more than i could even help you.

    school in usa depend on the county, NJ - east brunswick - where i live - is crazy, chasing gpa like anything. too much peer pressure.
     
  6. SKoundinya

    SKoundinya New IL'ite

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    Yes he goes to Strength and Conditioning class for physical activity and Archery for sports. I can understand how crazy it is with chasing gpa, peer pressure, school assignments pressure.. teachers domination because gpa is in their hands..poor kids
     
  7. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Dont worry, sounds like you have a good kid on your hands. These are all positive signs - that he is interested in the school work, and that he is working hard. Dont worry if he expresses his frustration at home. It is a good sign, that he is telling you what is going on and what he is feeling. If he kept all that inside him that would have been bad. So engage him and do as you are doing be positive. As long as he is taking interest and doing the work sincerely, you are fine.

    Yes the courses are hard in high school. It is to prepare the child for college where the work is even harder. The teachers here give lot of weight to effort. does the school offer extra help? Let him take the initiative and go talk to the teacher after school about the difficulties he is facing. They will give help him and give some suggestions which he can implement. Let him try and keep going back. At recommendation time this comes in useful as the teacher can talk about all this, so take it positively.
    Bottom line from here on out all subjects will be hard. He should take this time as an opportunity to think objectively as to which subject he likes and doesnt mind putting in the effort and which subject he hates and never wants to take ever again in his life. Let him write it down. The list will change from year to year, even one semester to another or month by month. But he will start the very important process of deciding which subjects he wants to take in college.
     
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  8. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    My kid is not even in high school. He is bombarded with homework / projects / tests almost every day. He recently told me not to get any toys, because he does not have much time to play. I am pretty surprised about how much these kids are expected to do and know. I learn so much everyday while teaching my kids.

    What you describe sounds like a very normal independent teenager of today’s generation. Socializing is very different today,not spontaneous like our times. Everyone is busy and does not have time. So don’t worry.
    You seem to be doing a good job encouraging him to do his best and getting help where he needs most. Keep encouraging and communicating with him and he should be fine.
     
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