Having kids in your late or mid thirties ???Isn't it tough?

OP, you are right in some respects and having kids in your 20's does have the following advantages:
- Better physical strength in most (not all) cases
- Having more time on your hands in mid-late 30's when kid becomes more independent
- Your mom/MIL/other family support being relatively younger and hence more stamina for help

However, I am not sure about the mental strength part. In my case, I am a lot stronger and more mature now than when I had my kid in mid-20's. I do not regret that, but I think that having kids late has its own advantages as well, such as:
- More scope for the woman to settle in her career-if both partners have worked for a while before the kid is born, they will definitely be able to provide better and raise the kid in a comfortable environment
- Better maturity in all respects, more awareness

We must not forget that many women get married late and hence the baby is also delayed because of that; and people who have fertility issues right from the start do not have a choice but to wait.

I feel that it is very important for the mom to be emotionally strong and independent to raise a kid in today's world. When I had my kid, I was young, naive and had MIL issues which disturbed me a lot. I also had a big career break (in my case I could not work for a while); thankfully I am back on the scene now.

It all depends on each couple's circumstances and comfort level.
If you ask women who had kids in 20's some might say that they feel they should have waited some more (career, spending time with husband etc.). And on the other side, there might be women who had kids in 30's and are very happy with their decision.

 

The choice of having kids before or after 30 for many depends on lot other factors, everyone's life, situations & circumstances they are 'in' varies, so a blanket cannot be applied and getting tired with a kid will always be there even if one is mid twenties. I know few people who resent having kids at an early age and some enjoy having elders to look out after the little ones. It all depends on varied factors.

 

Well. For women like me who have issues with conception (PCOS, infertility) we just don't have any option. I feel god has a plan for us and it will happen that way. Each one of us have our own journey to go and there's really no point opining about all these aspects of life.

 

From the perspective of fertility, energy to handle young children - I agree that it is better to have early kids. It also gives immense security if you have grown up children by the time you are in 50s.

But there is not one set rule. It is better to have kid when the couple feels ready.

 

I have read this thread a day after i had a talk with my friend on this topic.I have a 6 year old son while my friend got married just last year and hasnt decided on having a baby yet...we all have hit our 30s..lol.And i still have many friends who are yet to get married.
True that biologically the fertility decreases after 30 but it depends on the genes too.I think one should get married and have children when they are prepared to do so.

 

nowdays many women are delaying having kids & end up having kids in mid or late 30s......many women by that time are more mature mentally & know what they are getting into & hence adapt easily............

also,whatever age you have kids ,they do disrupt your life ,career ............a woman in 20s may be more biologically competent to conceive,but a woman in 30s is mentally more stable to take right decisions..........

BTW,I had my both kids before hitting 30s & yes,many of my friends were yet to marry due to various reasons..........but in my case I always wanted to be a mom so it was a most welcome change in my life .

also,we have this mental block of putting age for everything...............start school at this age,finish at this,get married at this & have kids by this age...........well,things are changing now & it will be best if we adapt to them

 

OP: I can speak for myself. I had my DD when I hit 30 and expecting again No.2.. So I am past 30 now and I feel more matured in everything... I started planning for DD only when I was mentally ready so If I have had a baby the moment I got married I am not sure I would have handled her so well.. I feell like I am doing complete justice to motherhood now than I would have if I have had it before 30's... I definitely wanted to enjoy life to the bits and was not ready for kids when I got married now I am so much invovled and cant think of anything otherthan my family.... It all depends on people and of course cant argue that Motherhood is challenging....It has its own price but I would not change a thing now for that.. I am enjoying every bits of it..

 

I have seen mothers getting fatigued in pregnancy in 20s too. It is ones individuality.

 

I had my son at 31 and we're planning to have another, may be next year or later (I will be 33-34 by then). I feel much stronger, more mature and well settled in my career. I feel more financially and emotionally secure than I was in my mid 20s. I am with Chitravivek on this, she is right, I feel the same way, I am enjoying every moment of motherhood. In addition, my pregnancy was very normal and I worked till the day before my baby was born (I didn't have to but I chose to) that way I got to stay longer with my baby post delivery.
On decline in fertility after 30, well, jury is still out about this. Yes, earlier research suggested this but new research is not in agreement. Fertility start declining after 27 (ish) but this is a process, doesn't happen as soon as one hits 30.