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Have Kids Or Job

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by samsWait, Aug 11, 2017.

  1. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    My husband got a job which requires him to move out to a different location which is 8 hours from my place. It is for six months. My body does not behave as everyone else. I do not when I ovulate. I am monitoring my cycles with some medications even then I am missing the ovulation dates. My husband is saying that he will not take the offer but I am saying we can work it out and we can travel on weekends. The reason why he is saying is because if I ovulate in the middle of the week we will miss the chance. He says he will work locally in not a professional job like wAlmart and supplement my income. The reason I am asking him to go is he has been unemployed for around 2 years and I fear he will lose touch. I am saying let's see for 2 months and if it doesn't work out he can resign. We have been arguing since a week. What should we do?
     
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  2. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    BTW I am 32 and suffering with diminished ovarian reserve. So I probably do not have much time. But at the same time feeling guilty of stopping my husband's career. He already sacrificed a lot for me. What should I do
     
  3. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Can you look for a job at your husband's place ?
     
  4. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    No it is a remote town but 2 hours from a major city. I can try to look for one in that major city but it will take some time. I have that in my mind too since where I am living is a medium sized town and my husband may not get a job here. So I decided to look in major cities but with h1b situation it may take some time.
     
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  5. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Gold IL'ite

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    This is a short-term job that will help him in his career and better provide for his family. I think it makes sense for him to take this job, even if it might affect when you can conceive a child. Even if you are working now, being pregnant will affect your whole life and priorities. Many women take breaks from work after they give birth, so that they can spend time with their babies. Now, if your husband does not have a job and possibly not get another job within the timeframe, then it would affect your family life and may put extra burden on you to work, despite not being physically comfortable to do so. I'm assuming you are in the US (because of Walmart), and it's not easy to work at minimum wage, and it's not worth putting on your resume. It's better for your whole family and your future child, if he takes this job.

    Btw, do you have any other children?
     
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  6. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    No we do not have any children.
     
  7. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Good luck dear.. Hope you find one soon..
     
  8. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Gold IL'ite

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    How supportive is your current job? Would they allow you to WFH for a week, as needed? Also, do you have vacation time available? Maybe you can renegotiate your contract?

    And have you asked your doctor about what is the best course of action for you to conceive? Do they think that losing this 6 month window might work against your efforts?
     
  9. sumalynux

    sumalynux Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi

    Dh job is really important, as bhumibabe explained, even if you conceive. Pregnancy childbirth and raising kid at least 6months baby (even to put in daycare) involve lot of time of work n money. Better for dh to start working instead of loosing a career. Assuming he's into IT. Years together gap is not appreciated n makes finding job more difficult so don't let him loose current opportunity...

    Coming to your ttc. Have you met a doctor. Generally doc suggests to try naturally if all is well, otherwise some medication is suggested .. so please contact a doc and work towards docs advice.. meanwhile search a job near to dh place. And if you find ovulating either of you try to take leave n meet.
     
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  10. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    Yes I have around 3 weeks vacation time in this year and I can probably wfh for 2-3 days per month. I did not talk to my doctor about losing the 6 month window. This doctor gave me Meds and trying naturally with regular monitoring. I am trying to consult one more doc who is thinking of doing IVF. My husband can get 2 days wfh in a month. But the sensitive time when I can ovulate we may not be together. And if I took the IVF option there may not be anyone who may drive me around. Also I may be stressed out with all the travel. That is my husband's argument.
     

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