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Good husbands do exist!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Pomegranite, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. Pomegranite

    Pomegranite Bronze IL'ite

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    There are very many posts on IL about bad husbands and bad in-laws; sadly there are fewer posts about good husbands (and good in-laws!)
    It is the nature of the forum I think?
    My husband has his faults, but he treats both myself and his parents fairly. It helps that his mother is a generally nice person, though she has her faults too, just like evryone.
    He is not perfect, but he is a good person and genuinely trying to do his best for everybody. Thank gods he is a rational person and able to think independently!
    He isn't very romantic, (but he takes good care of the family)...maybe some would find fault with that.
    He isn't overly helpful cleaning the house, (but he will fix and maintain all the house things that need fixing)...I could criticise that but then again, I'm not going up on the roof to fix the chimney cap, so I'm ok with that.
    He says "thank you" for dinner and notices when I have done special work to make his or ILs life easier.
    He is not perfect, and I am not perfect, but after 18 years I think that we have accepted each others not perfectness.
    Marraige is compromise and a willingness for BOTH people to look after the other persons welfare.
    That will take you through the decades.
    If that is lacking, then it is no marraige, just a bad financial/ living arrangement.
    And we all deserve better than that!
    My DH is a good man and I am thankful for that!

    Anybody else have a good husband?
    They deserve a salute!
     
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    You are around in forums since 2009 and asking this question??:spin:spinusually when a person has a problem thats when they come to forums..because issues related to marriage cannot be shared with anyone/everyone face to face....due to various reasons...thats why you may be seeing several threads about issues/complaints...

    Having said that...there are several positive threads and appreciation threads too..just that you see less visitors to those threads..(not because people are not happy..) just because as a human our instinct is to resolve problems and help others...

    pls refer to the most recent thread on why divorces are increasing ...that has many good points on both good n bad about marriages and what can be done to keep the marriage successful and happy.(this thread has both positive n negative..

    nice to read about your married life..... and Yes Good husbands do exist....infact there are men who are GREAT and AMAAZING husbands and loving inlaws....they do exist and blessed are those who have them...not everyone is totally good/bad...just that the % of good/bad is what makes them standout!!!...
     
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  3. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Nice post Pomegranite,
    I have been married for 18 years too and here is a salute to my DH from me.
    Yes, first 10 years were very very difficult, mainly because of the difference in our personalities and my ILs.
    And more importantly because of my DHs inclination towards his parents and his 100% devotion towards his parents and sisters. But after 10 years, I don't know how he changed. He had sacrificed his career, his happiness, his everything for his parents/sisters and I think after all those years he realised that he has done enough and he wants to live his life now. I don't know.
    Our personalities are still totally opposite and opinions often don't match but we have learnt to agree to disagree. we have lot of arguments but they are all in good fun.
    I am not very efficient in kitchen mostly because of my health problems, and he totally understands that and often takes charge of the kitchen. Helps with ironing as well. Never loses his cool. Is always happy and cheerful.
    Salute again to my supercool DH.
     
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  4. Pomegranite

    Pomegranite Bronze IL'ite

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    Good on ya Monita! And good on him! :}

    It was less of a question SriVidya, and more of just an observation.
    Of course the forums are mostly "problems", but sometimes its good to hear a positive thing to balance out all the negativity!!

    This was really more a chance for myself and others to pay an homage to all the *good* husbands out there!!
    <:}
     
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  5. AnanyaAjay

    AnanyaAjay Silver IL'ite

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    Me joining!!!

    My husband is also a very very good husband, and I am still learning to accept him as he is. He too. I don't expect him to be perfect, as I am also not perfect! Regarding inlaws, yes, we have few problems, but i won't end up happily if I keep on complaining. I think if I keep complaining, I keep thinking the same in my mind all d time. /So no piece of mind. So why think?

    I am also very lucky that my husband thinks independently. He scolds me if I do any mistake, at the same time he scolds his mom if it's her mistake. She takes it or not doesn't matter here, as I know he is treating equally.

    I am not telling that we are IDEAL couple, we too fight everyday, for silly reasons, for family problems, my mom, your mom, etc stuff... But... At the end of the day, we both understand that We Love each other, and let the fight go. In fact I can't sleep at all if we fight. Even till 12-1 am in the night I yell, shout, explain, cry, and hug him and then only I will sleep.

    I agree with you that marriage is a compromise for both, be it arranged or love marriage. Coz they both are different only till the marriage happens. After that what arranged, what love, all stories will be similar.

    Here's my salute to my DH!!!
     
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  6. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Gr8 post Pomegranite.

    Been married for almost six years now and here is my salute to my DH. He too tries to treat me and his parents fairly, helps in the kitchen when he sees that I am not feeling well, not romantic at all but does not neglect me, but as u rightly said no one is perfect. There might be some points in me that he is not happy about but have never seen him complain about it. Marriage requires compromise on both sides.
     
  7. hemalathaK

    hemalathaK Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes there are men who are really good by their nature and appear to be bad due to their parents or situations created by their parents.And one among them is my DH.

    For me too first three yrs were really really difficult and now my DH is more loving and caring towards me.He has changed totally from what he was in the beginning.And I thank God for that.

    Now I can proudly say my DH is the best
     
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  8. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    As OP said, this forum is full of Husband and mil related horror stories. Had I come here before my marriage, I would be totally scared to go ahead and marry. But honestly, why would happy people spend hours alone on the Internet ? They would be rather spending that time with their cheerful soulmates.

    In reality, there are only as many bad husbands as there are bad wives.

    One needs to get out of the Internet, go to real world to check out the good ones.

    I have been extremely lucky to have good husband and good mil. I will certainly give a lot of credit to myself too, and when I look back, I can see how we have evolved. There was a lesson to be learnt from every situation.

    Thanks for bringing up this thread.
     
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  9. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Bad husbands and bad wives are too general terms. Our perception of the terms could be very different. For some people- a husband who doesn't help is a bad husband, for some it is ok. For some a husband who doesn't make money is bad, for some who drinks and so on. And like wise the wives.

    Why don't you list some good qualities of your husband?
     
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  10. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Marriage is like a challenge. Lots of adjustment, compromise, acceptance, responsibilities, love, sharing, contribution, willingness, affection, etc, etc......Two matures willing to stay in the marriage can survive. Needs lots of experience and patience. Those successfully completed 15 to 25 years are lucky and more years than that are blessed with happy married life even though they have lots of other issues in their life and even though they fight a lot, at least they lived their life not affecting their child's future. We complaint a lot in the beginning and that is where we are trying to adjust but as time passes by we start to accept it or let it go. Both individuals are equally responsible for their married life. If anyone fails to be responsible both will suffer. Me too in the adjusting and complaining phase of my married life. Best of luck to others.
     

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