God Almighty

[This was written in response to Cheeniya's thread Quid Pro Quo with the Gods.]

The tiger has turned into a great nuisance. Humans were worried to no end. It started with cattle and then human beings too began to fall prey to the tigers. People brought out their sticks, their spears and their guns and killed the tiger. But then yet another tiger arrived. Finally, the humans approached God Almighty with a request.

"God Almighty! Do save us from the tigers."

God Almighty replied --- "Okay."

Soon after, the tigers complained to God Almighty in his court -- "The humans have made our lives unbearable. We are running from forest to forest. But the hunters are not letting us live in peace. Please remedy this situation."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

Just then young Nerha's mother appeared before God Almighty and prayed ---"Baba, please make sure that my Nerha is blessed with a beautiful bride. Please, please my God Almighty. I am offering you five paisa in obeisance."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

Harihar Bhattacharyya addressed God Almighty on his way to court where his case was pending. "I have worshipped you all my life. My body has thinned on account of the fasts I kept. I want to give a proper lesson to my rascal of a nephew. Please do be my ally."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

Sushil is preparing for an exam. He tells God Almighty everyday, "Dear God Almighty, do make sure that I pass." Today he added -- "God Almighty, if you can arrange for a scholarship for me, I will spend five rupees to distribute your prasadam."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

Haren Purakayastha desires to be the Chairman of the District Board. He approached God Almighty through the intermediation of Kali Priest, "I need eleven votes." Kali Priest, in lieu of a fat fee, chanted prayers in incorrect Sanskrit making God Almighty lose his mind – "Votam dehi, votam dehi ---"

God Almighty replied – "Okay, okay."

The farmer raised his hands towards the sky and said -- "God Almighty, give me water."

God Almighty replied –"Okay."

The mother of a sick child prayed to God Almighty–"Oh Lord, I have but a single child. Please don't snatch it away."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

Khenti pishi, the next door neighbour of the mother, said –"God Almighty, that vulgar woman is far too vain. She shows off new jewelry every other day and looks down on us all. You have done the right thing merciful God Almighty by catching hold of the boy by his throat. Give the broad a proper lesson."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

The philosopher said – "God Almighty I wish to understand you."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

China came up with a piercing cry – "Please save us from the Japanese Oh Lord."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

A young man from Bengal caught hold of God Almighty– "No editor is accepting my submissions. I want to publish in 'Prabasi'. Please tell Ramananda-babu to be kind to me."

God Almighty replied – "Okay."

During a short break, God Almighty asked Brahma, who was sitting right next to him – "Do you have pure mustard oil at your home?"

Brahma said – "Yes, I do. But what's the problem?"

God Almighty said – "I have need for it. Can you spare some for me?"

Brahma. (Using all five mouths) "Of course, of course."

Pure mustard oil arrived from Brahma's home. Immediately, God Almighty put drops of mustard oil into his nostrils and fell into a deep slumber.

From that slumber, he has not woken up till this day.

[The original version was published by Gurudas Chattopaddhay and Sons in 1936 in a collection entitled Banaphhol-er Galpo (Banaphool's Stories).]

 

Dear PS,

I can see humanity. I can feel for humanity. I enjoy serving humanity. That's all that matters I think. In order to serve humanity, I cannot quite see why God has to serve as a catalyst. As the mass murderer Monsieur Verdoux had said towards the end of the classic movie, he was at peace with God. His conflict was with humanity. Quite clearly, he didn't believe in a God. But he certainly played his role in serving humanity. If God created humanity, he did a pretty poor job. I can't say that I am an atheist. I don't have the courage to make such a statement. But I don't think it was necessary to build temples to serve humanity.

oj

 

Dear Syamala,

God might have created humanity. One really doesn't know. It looks highly likely though that he has been sleeping and doesn't even know what happened to his creation.

oj

 

@Doree

Yes Doree, someone at least is sleeping peacefully. What more could have God ensured?
oj