Getting married soon !!

manojp · Jan 15, 2014

Hi to all

Iam 32 year old and getting married to a beautiful girl in coming month, its an arranged marriage.

We got addressed each other through a matrimony and after lot of discussions finally my parents and her parents has decided to fix the marriage with her. She is good girl and little faster than me but she started to like me very well after we started have hours and hours of talking late nights on phone.

we have talked everything from likes,dislikes, how to plan after marriage, whether to have kids now, sex blah blahh.. you know ..

After so much of this, now we dont have much to talk about , infact sometimes we remain silent on phone and keep on asking each other tell me, tell me, tell me

i dont know how i will stand to her as iam basically a shy person and dont talk much to everyone and sometimes a boring person

Eventhough we understand each other, will she be ok with me after marriage, iam worried now.

I need your suggestions to keep her happy lifelong , what does a girl generally want

anybody plz respond this...

Angiee · Jan 15, 2014

Congratulations on your wedding!

Well. Looks like my story My hubby is ditto like you. Shy, Silent and dont get along easily. but i know he loves me truly. He want to keep me happy but dont know how! :-D

Well..... I tell you what keeping us bonded so far is his patience. He handles me wisely. He listen when i talk. He wud mum his mouth when i react crazily.:-D Forgive me when i apologize and more importantly, dont take any word to his heart that i yelled out in anger. My heart melts away, when he says, "Thats ok dear. U were angry and spoke so. u didnt mean it really."

He never compels\forces me for anything. Never complains about my family or relatives. He always trust me, compliment me and admire me.

During the early days of our marriage, i was disappointed on seeing him as a silent, and unromantic guy. but now i realize his sweetness. His romance is different. he is unique indeed. Chillout!

Give your wife plenty of Love, understanding and trust. Dont point out her flaws. Ask her what does she wants from you? how does she expect you to be? Be open and True to her alwys..... Way to go brother!!!

All the best

-Angiee

manojp · Jan 15, 2014

Thanks Angiee, you seem to be a better person to take and understand your hubby, i wish you a great furture ahead.

However, you might have gone all the silence in the early days as you said, how did you confront all that
Have you kept far more expectations from your husband back then ?

I know i love my fiancee to the most, & Now actually of nearly 2 months of courtship we have become so much closer infact we have started having strong feelings to each other , it is LOVE we will feel.

I just need to know, as a girl you might have see all those, how to bring romance to your life as such..

i need your wishes and your inputs.

vaas · Jan 15, 2014

congrats on ur wedding.
my 2 cents. dont worry to much about this. now its the time to enjoy. dont spoil that with ur unnecessary thinking.
life changes a lot after marriage. its true for both men and women.

NamasteIndia · Jan 16, 2014

I need your suggestions to keep her happy lifelong
Click to expand...

Good Boy. :clap However, it will not be possible for you to keep her happy all the time. Life isn't as rosy as one would like it to be. Lots of challenges and lows will greet you on the way. How you deal with them will determine the future course of your marriage. IMO, marriage is about long term satisfaction which comes when one has done the right things (i.e. bringing up kids well, respecting their spouse for who she/he is, not having affairs etc)

All the best!

manojp · Jan 16, 2014

Thanks to all:2thumbsup:

Very happy to see your positive replies

i need your further inputs to encourage myself and my marriage.

rachaputi · Jan 16, 2014

Just maintain the same interest and feelings...

Enough to any girl...

zainabsarfraz · Jan 16, 2014

when u have talked enough and have nothing more to talk then bring in music like play antakshari or sing or dedicate a song to her (if not comfortable at singing then just watsapp or mms her the song) watch movies together thats what my DH did in courtship time as he was like you silent and shy.
heart doesnt need love to be spoken aloud it reads the silence too..

Sofea · Jan 16, 2014

Congrats on your marriage Manoj! When is the wedding?

About keeping her happy, well, just try to understand her, that would be of great help. Women generally think more than men. So sometimes when she's silent, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's bored. She's probably just thinking on how to convey the same to you.

You need to open yourself more to her. Simply talking to her on the phone is not going to be enough. There are people who can talk long hours on the phone but become tongue-tied when they see each other in person. So you need to meet her outside as well and use the time to get to know each other more. Only then you both will have the comfort level and be open to talk to each other.

JustMyself · Jan 17, 2014

Congrats on your upcoming wedding !!

It is good to see that you care about your wife and life

Coming to your question, sometimes it is just fun not saying anything and enjoying the silence, when you are together (ofcourse, difficult over the phone).
-you do have 25+ yrs of your past life to share with her too.
- You could talk about your relatives, friends, and expectations and dreams that you may have. Also,
- you could ask Open ended questions to keep her talking, (instead of yes or no questions)
- you do the listening part.
- Ask her about her hopes & dreams and expectations.