Gender-based roles - does it float your boat?

Well ,i am being thrust with gender specific roles telling that if there were none I would have gotten married to a male ..Unless I am sick ,tired or back breakingly loaded with work I can expect no help

 

Ah SSC ...I can remember months ago when I joined the IL I was going
What:bonk ,NO ,how can u say that:spin,Thats so Ridiculous :rantto each one of the sweeping generalization posts here in the IL rel forum. I have gotten somewhat thick skinned but some posts still get under my skin.

Now to the topic. We do not have any gender based roles at home . DH and I both earn/ cook /clean/ organize/ take care of kids/ drive ...etc..It is one of the reasons why we both don't feel constrained in any way and we both pursue our hobbies and professions without any guilt.

The only gender specific thing at home
For my DH :
Lifting heavy luggage /grocery bags from store/small handy man jobs. He is such a sweet heart.:kiss

For me : hmmm thinking thinking......I will come back and post..for sure..there must be something right !!

 

Good that you raised this topic.
IMO, in general difference does exist in male/female psyche and preference due to different generic make-up. But in today's complex world those genetic differences do not "exactly" map to different functions which are complex in nature. Also, the generic genetic superiority or inferiority for primitive tasks (like walking, running, concentrating) do not actually map to individuals. So even though genetically men may be equipped to be better runners then females, in a particualr couple, female might be better runner of the two.
What society does, during upbringing is try to increase those in-born differences by giving a male an environment which it feels is more suitable for males 'generally' and similiarly for females. This also leads us to believe in things like male pride and feminine elegance in things in which males and females are supposed to excel respectively. Now, comes the modern age and suddenly the females think that areas of their supposed excellence are inferior to those of males(cooking is considered is less skillful than practicing medicine, tendering children is considered less skillful than driving). Then the drive started of removing gender based roles and today we found that most role-allocation was either artificial(not in-born) or the differences were minimal.
As to " if there are households that still run on gender-specific roles?" - many, if not most IMO. Infact, its the gender specific roles that created the institution of marriage. In a gender-nuetral society where both partners do not actually 'depend' on each other, but are tied by love and emotion only, shall marriage as an institution even survive - we probably dont know. We are yet to see it, and I am not saying it is good thing or bad thing, it may just be the next step in human development story.

 

The change came about not because women suddenly woke up one fine bright morning and thought that child rearing and cooking is not 'cool' any more..It came about as a natural instinct to survive when 'SHE' was systematically taken advantage of with no financial ,political and religious freedom or rights.

 

Hey SSC,

My DH and I do not believe in gender based roles.

But in reality when it comes to doing things, I take more time and need help in areas like financials, fixing electronics etc.

Since more time is required for me and not affordable after a kid, I have started giving them to my husband and I own cooking,cleaning etc. Earlier, he used to help me in cooking but now I have freed him.

In our case, it is mostly based on time management per chore. Whoever can do it better, owns it.

So the divide is happening naturally. I am not liking this as I don't want my daughter to grow up in this divided setup. I have to do about this!!!

 

taking care of my kid and day-to-day stuff are my tasks. i know my husband will wear out within 2 hrs if he was to take care of my kid. its getting better as they grow up but taking care of infant and toddler was not his cup of tea. i dont mind doing different things. Also, i sometimes try to get my husband involved in doing something esp in caring for the baby. its important that he plays a role in their early yrs. other things i dont care much. i just do what i can and should. if i ask, he will say yes but takes a long time to start and finish.. so i dont ask ..i do it myself.