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Fuming Today....:(

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Jan 2, 2020.

  1. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    @anika987 , your issues are not going to be solved simply by going to a job because they come from deep within you and you are allowing them to define you as a person. Don't throw away your family's happiness for foolish reasons. Use your resources and advantages wisely to get the help you need to resolve your feelings and become more confident and content. If you are confident then you will do as you please and what is best for you and your family. Anything negative thrown at you will roll like water off a duck's back.
    If you cannot find happiness with a happy family, secure finances, comfortable lifestyle and still keep yearning for others' approval then nothing is going to help you until you resolve the root cause. Has it occurred to you that other people in your circle may simply be jealous of your comfortable circumstances and are just trying to cut you down? Do you really think a $10/hr job is going to impress them?
    Many people here are trying to give you positive advice and suggestions. Try some of them.
    Until then we are simply stuck on a broken record and will be answering the same post a few months from now.
     
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    This is a good idea. :clap2:. You are smart
     
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  3. Deepika23

    Deepika23 Silver IL'ite

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    She still lives with the guy . She is better now but she literally struggled for almost 3 years with the back pain
     
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  4. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    Anika, like you see; experiences are teachers.
    They are meant to teach they are not meant to get yourself into a comfortable victim mentality. Whether you learn and wisely manouver around them OR claim to be a victim and wallow in self pity is decided by you.

    Second option is easy but comes with the cost of a potentially writing off an otherwise good life. Your choice.

    If you think you put yourself in deep wallow already, take professional help to come out.

    A job will expose you to more people more emotions and more 'teaching of life'... and more human judgements. Its not like you walk on rainbow and get a salary for walking on it.
    Prepare yourself and then jump in. I feel you are not ready seeing what you write.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2020
    anika987, Mehana, hridhaya and 2 others like this.
  5. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Is teaching a career option for you?
    I'm residing in India so I dont know the process of becoming a teacher or assistant teacher there....or even the payscale there.. .but wouldn't that be convenient so you can co incide your kids timings with yours so the costs of aftercare etc are less...even if you get a decent pay it's ok for you as you dont need to work for money...and kids in US are quite independent and adjust according to situation...your hus has an issue with high aftercare and before care costs but not about your working as such so did you explore or eliminate that option? If yes pls let me know why...I'm asking because my relative and one if my friend too relocated abroad after marriage.. US...and became teachers in the schools where there kids were studying...their husbands were well off and they dint have family support yet for full time corporate job as they had small kids to look after ...and wanted to spend time usefully...
     
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  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    As others have told you a million times...you are victim of jealousy and " sour grapes "
    Many have personal and financial insecurities...they are feeling envious that you had average academic back ground still managed to get a good husband earning well in dollars, a child, and good lifestyle in US..and living contentedly.. how to spoil it for you? That's by taunting you..
    And you fell for it inspite of being a mature 40 something year old woman..you allowed them to succeed...
     
  7. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    My kids massage therapist became an assistant teacher in her sons school. Kindergarten classroom.
    You need a teaching license for teachers.
    U don't need for assistant teachers.
    I heard the school gives you the required training.
     
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  8. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika please try the above option. One of our relative is working in Bay area as an assistant teacher. She started the job and had on the job training. No certificate required for assistant teacher. I know of another person also with small kids and she goes along with her kids to their school as assistant teacher.
     
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  9. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    People here are giving multiple brilliant ideas and options... and there are many more. Ad writing on FB, freelance content writing ( you are good thread starter so you got it :) ) kids party organising company etc.

    But first... work on yourself. Sharpen the knife and then you will be good to go

    If it can relate ( for a possible motivation):

    I was in the same state of my mind some years ago; but I did not really realise what potential it had until I saw my 6 yr old son sulking frequently. I tried hard to correct him and motivate him not to complain and sulk. It was painful to see another me in him!. I booked an appointment with a social worker and had a chat over coffee... she said one sentence ' You worked on him, didnt work. Now try working on yourself'

    I did start to work on myself, it is a journey( still working)... it is kind of spiritual really. I sulk less and accept more and do what I can in my own pace .I am not 100% there but its ok; I am a bit better and the 'magically' my son's sulking has lessen drastically over the years, he is now 10+.

    We don't realise how the negitivity seeps through from parents to kids. It is true, I am the living example.

    If we hope that our kids should be mentally stable and happier than us... work on oneself... the change will seep through.

    How can we be so ignorant wondering how the kids turn out to be insecure adults... when all they saw was the shame , fear and insecurity while growing up.

    Working or home maker ....a mentally positive parent does wonders. This was the actual motivation for my journey. Find yours.
     
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  10. Caughtinbetween

    Caughtinbetween Finest Post Winner

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    this thread is an eye opener . not just in terms of the options that are around for us to explore as means of employment other than the traditional ones . but most importantly to realize how childhood trauma , insults and agony we face has an impact on us much beyond that stage of life. to see for ourselves , how our own insecurities real/perceived can impact our kids lives .
    Specially what Roar said above "You worked on him, didnt work. Now try working on yourself'"
    how many times have we heard that kids learn from what we do than what we tell them .
    a lot of times when anika talks about these things in her various threads i see myself in it . hope you find something that works for you and helps you be at peace first with your self and then you tackle other issues. infact while you wait for child to enter middle school to start working , please try the above suggestions and get a sense of calm within yourself .
     
    CuteCancer, anika987, Radha99 and 4 others like this.

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