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Frustrating Life Due To Sick Inlaws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Jasminepetal, Dec 21, 2016.

  1. Jasminepetal

    Jasminepetal New IL'ite

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    Thank you and sorry again. I have become allergic to such appreciations now. I do not believe in such reciprocations. My aunt took good care of her Mil, she had no one to take care in her oldendays and had to die alone in old age home, her kids were abroad. People whoever tals to me tries to calm down me with all this kind of appreciation.
     
  2. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

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    My idea doesn't feel ideal to me myself but in the situation you're in, I can't think of anything better.

    Do you have any relatives like MIL or FIL's siblings/nieces or nephews close by, so they can chip in once in a while while you take a break. But please be aware that this can backfire too with relatives badmouthing your husband's family too.

    Best wishes
     
  3. Meet9

    Meet9 Silver IL'ite

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    Oh I am sorry you feel this way! You must be burnt out with all these efforts and caregiving....I would in this case recommend you to sit down and come up with a plan which is compatible to both your desires/needs and time of affordibility in giving care. would you be OK taking care of them turn wise? the other siblings have to chip in with financial help for maid if they are not being there physically...how does your husband feel about this? Is he aware of your frustrations? and anything you do please make sure you think twice or thrice about it so you do not have any regrets about it....i hope a satisfactory solution comes up soon for you...
     
  4. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sometimes, we just happen to take a lot more responsibility than others. Just accept that fact and move on.
    umm...have you considered the thought that maids might have left because maybe the work is too much for just one maid. Get two maids instead of one.

    You are saying that people are ready to share expenses. So why hesitate. Appoint two maids instead of one. Go through agency which provides helpers like maids, nurses etc.

    My suggestion would be please don't do this. I know these are frustrating times but trust me there is always a good future ahead.

    Saying no to inlaws when they are sound and healthy is one thing but saying no them when they are sick and helpless is IMO wrong. I practice this in my life too.

    Let me tell you something. I have two kids, no house yet, no car yet. Me and my husband are taking care of my mom and we took a few loans to smooth out our expenses. We are far from settled. That is because I took the responsibility of taking care of few things. My younger sister is happily married, well settled, infact she delivered a baby and I am taking care of her now.

    Ofcourse, I can always say no to all these people and live my life comfortably just like my sister and others. But its just not right.

    At the end, its your decision. Hope you make a wise one!
     
    CoolPie, sindmani and KashmirFlower like this.
  5. anuyogam1988

    anuyogam1988 Gold IL'ite

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    Its very important to take care of aged parents IMO. Just ask your husband to help you in kitchen and do chores together.
     
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  6. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    I understand ur feelings. Please get a paid nurse for ur mil.
     
  7. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Along with my husband's maami ,I took care of my husband's grand mom( my mil's mom) in her last days last year when I was in India. I know she acts like baby , it is tiring . I used to feed her. Feeding her was tough.she might spit. She keeps calling us even in night to change diapers etc.Maami( I too call her maami) used to feel depressed as she had college going children and could not take care of them . now grandmom is no more. So I clearly understand your points because I have seen maami closely. So please get nurse and a maid with best agencies. I am happy to see a good hearted person like u
     
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