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Finally Some Good News

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pinky2cute, Aug 21, 2018.

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  1. Aug 21, 2018 #1
    pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello all,
    As already known I'm still yet to get a surgery done and its delayed due to my blood reports being abnormal so have to correct them before going fr surgery. Rest... life is in dark still but got a ray of hope as my dh finally decided that I'm too depressed and he has to move out n we both need to live together away from his family for me to recover n he realised unless I'm happy...i cannot give him the love and respect which he lost due to his n his folks behaviour.

    So finally we have short listed n are moving into our own home though rented.
    I'm excited to setup my new home and this would keep my sadness at bay atleast fr now.

    I need advice of experienced ladies please tell how do i start to setup my home ...
    I have made list like furnitures for living room and bedroom n kitchen set up like steel dinnerplate sets n storage container sets, pots, cookers, pans etc atleast basic for now. Ofcourse the appliances fridge, washing machine n bathroom needs.

    Can you please advice what else should i be making a list of things ?
    As we are moving out so we have to start from scratch in making the rented new house as our small nest...our home.

    Please help. Also we are lil financially tight so please advice how to setup with basic necessities in a metro city in india.
     
    pinky2cute, Aug 21, 2018
    pinky2cute, Aug 21, 2018
    #1
    Amica, nakshatra1, Laks09 and 6 others like this.
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  2. Aug 21, 2018 #2
    DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    That's a great news. So happy for you.

    I don't know much about what is available there. But start with basic essentials. You have listed almost everything. Its better not to buy too many things there. Focus on setting up a kitchen ( stove, utensils, blender, groceries etc..), then bed. Move in there and slowly decide what to do based on space and floor plan of the house.
     
    DDream, Aug 21, 2018
    DDream, Aug 21, 2018
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  3. Aug 21, 2018 #3
    pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank u so much fr the reply. Sorry forgot to mention we are moving out into a 2bhk in a metro city. . . So as it is in appartments, its just a basic hall with space fr sofas n tv unit on one end n other end fr dining table n chairs... N 2 bedrooms with 1 slightly bigger with attached bathroom (master bedroom) and another we intend to keep it as guest bedroom fr now incase inlaws or my parents wish to come n stay fr sometime.

    The thing that helped my dh take this big decision was he loves me n he cudnt see me in depression nor he had guts to go against his parents... So i understood his problem and assured him that its better to be a lil far away and yet have mental peace and good relations than being under same roof and brewing hatred inside.
    I assured him his parents will always be his parents n they can come n be with us whenever they feel like i wud never ever come in-between parents n son.
    So this helped him to take a decision and thankfully no major dramas happened.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
    pinky2cute, Aug 21, 2018
    pinky2cute, Aug 21, 2018
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  4. Aug 22, 2018 #4
    shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very happy for you :thumbup:.
    All the best for new life.
    I think you have already covered the things which are most essential.
     
    shravs3, Aug 22, 2018
    shravs3, Aug 22, 2018
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  5. Aug 22, 2018 #5
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    That has been one hard won victory. Happy for you. Just living together and not with in-laws will lead to a lot of healing.

    I would suggest to go a little easy on the "they can come and be with us whenever they feel like." For starters, keep visits from your parents or his parents very short. Unless they are there to help you post surgery.

    Husbands can accomplish one major feat like get parents to agree for love marriage or agree to live separately, and after that expect that wife will say yes to everything and put up with every future wish or command from in-laws. "I moved out and we are living separately.... what more do you want... I did that for you... "
     
    Rihana, Aug 22, 2018
    Rihana, Aug 22, 2018
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  6. Aug 22, 2018 #6
    GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Nice to see a positive update @pinky2cute
    Best wishes for a love and happiness filled life ahead!
     
    GoneGirl, Aug 22, 2018
    GoneGirl, Aug 22, 2018
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  7. Aug 22, 2018 #7
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    All the best for surgery and future life.When you have husband's love and care everything else will go on smoothly
     
    iyerviji, Aug 22, 2018
    iyerviji, Aug 22, 2018
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  8. Aug 22, 2018 #8
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    This.

    Don't go over board with the ' they can come any time " .

    Plus....make it your castle.
    Your house should be ruled by you. ....no matter who comes,your parents or his parents.
    If you let your parents come and take over the running of the house,then husband will expect his parents to have the same right.

    If possible maintain the " in my house I am queen ,in your house ,you are queen rule ".

    When parents / inlaws come( keep the frequency low in the first few years) ....you give them a break . Plan ahead and let them enjoy.
    When you go to their place ,you enjoy.
    Tell them you want to eat " unke haath ka khana ".

    Sweety ...make this home a happy place and make your husband feel good that he made this decision.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
    yellowmango, Aug 22, 2018
    yellowmango, Aug 22, 2018
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  9. Aug 22, 2018 #9
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    As for buying stuff...

    You need two functional rooms in the begining .
    Kitchen and bedroom.

    Kitchen essentials..
    Gas burner
    Pressure cooker
    Kadhai
    Tawa
    Some big spoons for cooking
    Plates
    Glasses
    Spoons.
    Fridge

    Rest all can be managed.
    You can get extra stuff your mom has.
    Moms are always ready to give away extra dabbas and extra utensils to daughter.
    When you have money...then buy good quality stuff.

    When we move to a new place ,we usually get a very small house in the begining.
    I have a box of bare essentials that I open for kitchen,rest all stays packed and stored till we move into a bigger house.

    Instead of opening all dabbas...I keep dals etc in their packets and tie with rubber bands and keep them in a basket . I buy smaller amounts.Only rice and atta go into their dabbas.
    You can try this till you buy good quality dabbas.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
    yellowmango, Aug 22, 2018
    yellowmango, Aug 22, 2018
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  10. Aug 22, 2018 #10
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Bedroom .

    Curtains
    Mattresses
    Bed.
    Buy a good quality bed with storage.
    Two sets of bed sheets.
    Two pillows.

    If you have to wait for buying the bed ...just buy standard sized mattresses and make floor bed arrangement . It is a lot of fun for a young couple :yum:

    You can shift these mattresses to the living room during day time and make a sitting arrangement there.....till you buy your living room furniture.
     
    yellowmango, Aug 22, 2018
    yellowmango, Aug 22, 2018
    #10
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