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Feeling Awkward

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by SGBV, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't frequently wear saree. For me, saree is the most glamorous dress, which reveals some parts of your body, which is otherwise covered with modern cloths. Also, saree showcases your body shape, unlike in other casual dresses. Yet, saree is the formal office attire in my country, so we are required to wear a saree for any formal meetings with the government authorities.

    Today, I wore a saree, since I was suppose to meet the highest district authority.
    Honestly, I wasn't that familiar or comfortable with a saree. Without my knowledge my hands would try to shape and re-shape the saree by thinking it has messed up somewhere.

    Today, I would have done the same too. I don't know.
    But to my surprise a young man, who is happened to be my new direct supervisor has apologized to me repeatedly saying he has some sight issues since the past few hours due to pressure in his eyes. So, his vision is complex; that's why he stared at me. He went on to say that he did not intend to make me uncomfortable by staring like this, but his vision is to be blamed.
    He further explained as to how his vision problems started a few years back, and how he believed it was all treated until this morning when it returned all over again.

    He has also asked me to keep this confidential and believe that his intention wasn't wrong.

    I was clueless, as I did not notice his staring, nor I felt uncomfortable for it. I don't even remember showing discomforts that publicly.
    But he said that he felt further uncomfortable by looking at how I was feeling uncomfortable due to his staring. Thus apologizing.

    Feeling very much confused, and do not know how to react.

    In fact, his apology made me uncomfortable for that unknown body language of mine (if it was true), which I guess due to the saree.
     
    sindmani and jaivini like this.
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  2. Rowith

    Rowith Silver IL'ite

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    Just ignore and move on.Either he is too smart and trying to hit on you or can be a genuine problem as well,so better ignore.
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Some guys get cheap thrills from making women uncomfortable by such talks.
    Just ignore it.
    If he mentions again...just tell him "what are you going on about,I did not even notice you".
     
  4. rajatsingh

    rajatsingh Silver IL'ite

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    This is a trick, an apology trick ..first, to make you know that he has stared at you (you didn't notice him staring at you) and second, to make you think about him.

    I think, that guy is really good in his trick. Look, he has achieved, what he wanted to !☺

    You must have been really beautiful in saree, making many men there, stare at you (Nothing wrong; it is a complement to your appearance). Many stared....this guy has dared to make you know that he has stared too.

    I salute his courage !
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  5. rajatsingh

    rajatsingh Silver IL'ite

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    @SGBV . my apologies (real), if my post has offended you:disappointed:
     
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  6. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    Be very careful about this guy. He is trying to fool you or impress you with a cheap trick. He definitely has no vision problems. Since he is your supervisor unfortunately u can't ask him whether his vision problems stay with him always or only in particular circumstances. Don't mind him when you meet him next time and don't raise this topic also.
     
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  7. suasin

    suasin Gold IL'ite

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    @ SGBV, how do you drape your saree? The southIndian way or the Srilankan(airlines) way??

    Ym is right..He is giving excuses.. He was staring.. Nothing to do with your body language..
     
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  8. WorriesTooMuch

    WorriesTooMuch Bronze IL'ite

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    I think his apology was a bit excessive and direct and it looked calculated to put you on the spot. Any decent person would have mentioned it in passing so you are not embarrassed. For example he could have casually mentioned "I have serious vision issues so people always think I'm moody or angry because it looks like I keep staring at them."

    That conveys the point without drawing attention to what you were wearing, which I think is very inappropriate subject matter in the workplace, especially in an supervisor-employee setting.
     
    SGBV and KashmirFlower like this.
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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  10. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Ha ha... not readymade. Have to be created each time, but it is not that difficult.
    However, I wore the south Indian style saree.
     
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