Fed Up Of Life

Dear star90new,
Please do not contemplate suicide. You tried hard to love your husband for the last three years - you may have already done your best. But please don't give up hope, please believe that there is still some path that can give you happiness and you just haven't discovered it. If your circumstances are such that your immediate family hasn't been able to give you much-needed support and happiness - just like everyone of us - you *can* find happiness within yourself - this is the only ever-lasting and reliable source of happiness.
We can help you if you share what exactly are your life's problems right now. Sometimes even though we very badly want to have a great relationship with our parents, spouses and in-laws - it may not be possible. You can stop chasing that goal (given that it seems like you are dejected because you've already tried this for so long.).
Did anything happen recently that has triggered you to contemplate suicide.
There is a lot of beauty and happiness in this world - that every human being has the right to enjoy - but we may all need to work very hard to spot and achieve what will give us that - so please don't give up.

 

@star90
Please don't take any extreme step. No one in this world having 100% perfect life or 100% happy. Everyone is fighting/ struggling with their issues. Please Calm down. Suicide isn't the solution for any issue. Try to think positively you will definitely findv a solution for your issues. Hope for better days. Please Talk to someone you like and trust. Sometimes talking with loved ones gives us relief. Please never think about wrong step.

 

Hi,
If you are contemplating suicide, please call a local hotline. ASAP. talk to the folks on the other end before you act. They are specialized in helping people who have thoughts like yours. Don't decide anything now, just talk to someone.
Once you pull yourself together, please note down some positives of your life in a journal. Everyone in this world is blessed with some good things- it's very hard to find an individual with nothing positive going on in their life- write down yours. They do not have to be huge , small things count too. For example, do you have food? How about shelter? You surely have internet. You say you quit your job, so you have education that landed you that job in the first place. It's an asset that no one can steal from you. Right now it might seem like you are at rock bottom, so the good news is that there is only one way to go-up. If you are thinking of ending your life, you probably feel like you have nothing to lose. So why don't you divorce your husband and start afresh? Use your education and experience,move cities, find a different job, do whatever it takes but don't give up. Hope you talk to someone who can help you soon.

 

Hi star .... Your username is so cute.... Why cant you make yourself the star of your ownlife? Why do you want someone to come and save you? Life is no fairy tale dear that suddenly one day a fairy would come from heaven and turn your life into a magical one.
Yes, I am saying all this despite myself having struggling from severe depression and suicidal thoughts which i had been fighting alone despite having most supportive and unconditionally loving parents and a husband who loves me but doesn't understand me!

You know what, you may have unconditionally loving parents, family, husband yet you would in one way or other be unsatisfied, helpless, fed up...we all have the bad phases... My bad phasr seems never ending too!
Deapite being married fr for around almost 3yrs... Me and my dh are never on same page...i had worstest of battles with inlaws .. being a doctor and with studies i met multiple harassments at both work place and personal life...along with this i lost my baby, multiple health issues now, need a major surgery etc etc etc.....

If we all go on telling what we face....i think nobody will be happy woth thwir own lives. Human mind is such that even without knowing, we tend to compare our lives with all the happy faces we see on social medias of happy couples, successful careers etc etc....but they have their own struggles.

Recently i read about a real life story of an educated rich woman...married into a posh family.... Both hubby n wife live lavish life....he gifts her diamonds, takes her on luxurious vacations.... probably lot of sex.... Etc....her profiles full of happy couple pictures.... Everyone envy of them.... But she reveals the dark side of the fake happiness. Her dh n inlaws though rich and educated they treat her like a doormat. Dominate her n dictate her. She doesnt have neither voice nor choice.


The point is, try to come oit of this depression... I did. You can too. Do something you love. Love yourself.

I was pressurized to study n gv exams when i was severely depressed thinking of ways to die.
What kept me sane?
I indulged carelessly in online shopping.... To divert my.mind.... and i kept bluetooth speaker on 24x7 with songs running in loop...
I was all alone in a hostel with no family no husband nobody to console me. I would cry my heart out whoch only the four walls of my room and the ever wet pillows of my bed could hear n feel.

I would cry all nights....struggle to study taking painkillers and coffee....more tears....feel exhausted....sleep ...get up with heavy head... Again try to divert my mind n study.... Cry....drink coffee/tea .... Try to fight my thoughts.... Study...repeat.

I couldnt share with anyone....even though i have supportive parents bcoz the pain i m going through...they wouldnt be able to understand...n even if they did...they wud cry more than me fr my suffering and i didnt want that.

I wud strongly urge you to take help of someone... I felt i couldnt be anymore stronger to fight n there were many days i wanted to gv up....bt i fought... Bcoz i didnt want my parents in old age to cry who brought me in this world.
I used to scold myself that i shouldnt be suicidal...i need to come out of this n live my life again....

 

Ok there is a "first time" for everything.... If you hadn't been independent before...be so now!
Who is stopping you? Use your education...search job in a different place than ur uarents or inlaws city. Give that as an excuse to them for u moving out. Once you earn, you will gain ur confidence. By then take some decision about your marriage depending on the situation. Take help of NGO (if you're in India) or some support groups....

End of the day its your life. You have to help yourself.

 

This is so true. Seeing that sometimes I get depressed too!