Hello Ladies, It's been a while since I participated on these boards. I'm not sure if I'm looking for an answer to a question, or whether I am looking for affirmation for something I already know After participating in this forum nearly a year ago, and taking things to heart, I realized one of the things that is preventing me to seek out others for relationship. Fear of Intimacy. Sure, hormones are raging, we all have desires, we have intense crushes on someone we see from afar, but it seems there is a subconscious fear to get close to another human being. To open yourself to someone else 100% because you fear rejection, disgust from the other person. I really thought of what I want, and I'd like to be in a happy marriage where I give someone 100% pleasure and happiness without holding back. And not care what other people think about this person, i.e. why did you marry him, you could have done better, etc, etc. And of course, we have to look at the world in a positive light by changing ourselves first. So many times I have caught myself getting angry and upset. So angry and upset that I would feel my body shake and tremble. Now, I'm training myself, or programming myself to visualize what I want, how I want to feel, and that healing takes time and patience. Just thought I'd post here, because it is this forum that helped me get on track, and I look forward to more positive things to share.