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Fear Coming True...please Help?????

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by anika987, Dec 22, 2016.

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  1. Dec 22, 2016 #1
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    i have written a thread about my ex friend and how she is friends/neighbors with my kid's classmates moms.I had also told how some of the moms ignored me and how it bothered.

    Off late,I voluntarily went up to some of the moms and started talking nice and things look pretty decent.However,there is this one mom who is very friendly with everyone but no matter how many times I say hello or smile at her,she does not respond.sometimes her hello seems forced and she does not even give an eye to eye and walks off.i have always felt I have seen her somewhere.

    Recently I came to know there was a birthday party for that mom's son(the mom who does not even respond) wherein all the kids in the class were invited except for my LO.I was sad but then I came to know that the mom is bestie to my ex friend!!I remembered seeing her on fb and I just went to fb and got confirmed.

    Now I feel there are high chances the ex friend has told about me to this mom and tats why she is behaving weird.she can hate me all she wants,but it's just a birthday and she could have invited my LO too!

    Anyways now am worried how am I going to deal with these ladies who r buddies to my ex friend as their kids are going and will be in the same school/class..will it affect my child in some way??will he be left out or bullied?!how often do I have to meet these moms in school?how often does the school do activities involving parents?
     
    anika987, Dec 22, 2016
    anika987, Dec 22, 2016
    #1
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  2. Dec 23, 2016 #2
    Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The easiet way to break up ganging up is to have one on one play dates. Or have two/three kids and moms over since your kids are still fairly young. It's a ton of work but if you make these play dates highly desireable then chances are the few who you regularly include will end up getting close to your kid.
    In the future, even in middle school years, the easiest way to quash rumors and "girl A said bad things about me to b,c,d" is to take bcd out to the mall/ice cream/movies etc and have some time with your child so they know that rumors are just that. Not sure how it works for boys but with a girl this is what her counselor told me long ago and it works like a charm.

    Forget that one chela mom and focus on the others. Her loss!
     
    Laks09, Dec 23, 2016
    Laks09, Dec 23, 2016
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  3. Dec 23, 2016 #3
    ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Anika ,

    Iam not sure Iam mature enough to answer but wanted to add my cents . Do you really want to be around that mom who by word of mouth is giving you colds ?i mean at this age who does that.., it looks like such a schoolish thing to me. Just continue talking and hanging with who you feel comfortable and also let your kid decide his/her circle . If you have time I would recommend reading " the secret " . It will bring positivity . Nothing different from what is said in Gita and our books but it's simple and organized .
    Just relax it's not something u called your worst fear !this too shall pass! Wishing you peace !
     
    ashima10, Dec 23, 2016
    ashima10, Dec 23, 2016
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    sindmani, anika987 and Narhari like this.
  4. Dec 23, 2016 #4
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    True what bothered me was how come someone show their anger On my way! Child?not calling the kid for a birthday when everyone else is invited.sorry but I think that is extremely a cheap thing to do.

    Anyways u are right dear.am gonna be myself and not bother about her.thanks for wishing me peace.is this book secret you can find online?
     
    anika987, Dec 23, 2016
    anika987, Dec 23, 2016
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  5. Dec 23, 2016 #5
    ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    It's certainly a cheap thing . And be fine you are not the involve with such persons . Book link below :)tc !

    Amazon.com: the secret book
     
    ashima10, Dec 23, 2016
    ashima10, Dec 23, 2016
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  6. Dec 23, 2016 #6
    Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Anika where do you find the energy for so much thinking yaar.
    Simple the lady is a close friend of your ex friend and maybe she did not want tension or undercurrents in her lo's party. I understand excluding a single kid in the class is wrong, it happens all the time for some reason or the other. And do not talk about these in your kid's presence.

    Just one incident should not pull you down.

    Invest your energy on one one playdates and allow her to make friends. Kids know to handle things as is possible( the problem is always us parents involving or trying to manage it for them)

    .don't press the panic button so soon.
     
    Shanvy, Dec 23, 2016
    Shanvy, Dec 23, 2016
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  7. Dec 23, 2016 #7
    coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    is your kid upset about getting excluded from bday party??? if not then you also chill....not everybody is going to like you, well you should not care about this as its their loss....
     
    coolgal123, Dec 23, 2016
    coolgal123, Dec 23, 2016
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    sindmani, EnlightenedSoul and anika987 like this.
  8. Dec 23, 2016 #8
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Actually u r right...as I said before in my threads I have been a victim of severe bullying and probably tats why am being so protective of my LO.
    I want my kid to have a happy childhood and hence I feel very anxious.

    Do u think I feel happy and am ok being this way?it kills me every minute and am trying to tread in my life.I am not like this in person and people think am very positive and I do not share it with anyone in person..my problems.I share my vents and feelings in IL..maybe like a split personality..Infact even my hubby does not know this side of me nor about IL.

    Also another thing,that ex friend could have been her bestie but come on!!leaving a child to invite that lady who has a big grown up kid..how fair is that??that too it took place in chuck e cheese

    Just want my kid to be alright.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2016
    anika987, Dec 23, 2016
    anika987, Dec 23, 2016
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    Vaikuntha likes this.
  9. Dec 23, 2016 #9
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    True kid is not even bothered.only 4 years old.just annoyed with her for excluding my kid listening to that exfriend.
     
    anika987, Dec 23, 2016
    anika987, Dec 23, 2016
    #9
  10. Dec 23, 2016 #10
    Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Anika chill. But trying to comfirm if your exfriend is the other mom's friend is a way above my head. Get out of the toxic networking (fb and whatsapp) that is making it so difficult to live your happy life. As my daughter says your are in a great space, only need to clear the junk in your head space and stop thinking your lo will face the same. No take one step at a time. You stop giving your friend's the power of staying in your headspace.

    it is great to move forward taking lessons from our past experience while it is a whirlpool that you keep whisking when you rake things that don't need to be.

    So just relax and plan your playdates. Keep it simple. I personally believe friends happen and you work and nurture that friendship. The rest are acquaintainces who happen at a point of your life for some reason.
     
    Shanvy, Dec 23, 2016
    Shanvy, Dec 23, 2016
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    sindmani, guesshoo, Priya4oct and 4 others like this.
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