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Extreme Confusion Please Help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by planetx, Apr 29, 2019.

  1. planetx

    planetx Junior IL'ite

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    We have decided to go for divorce and have even finalised lawyers. His lawyer is my Dad’s colleague’s sister. The colleague called my dad and discussed terms for mutual consent. We clearly communicated it is not acceptable to us. She asked to call her sister and tell her. My lawyer told to be careful and didn’t encourage us to have conversation with her so we didn’t call. Evening his lawyer herself called and started the conversation saying he is ready to live. My aged parents felt extremely happy upon hearing it. They are still against divorce. They told they have no issues in patching us up if he is ready to live. She was not pleased to hear it and threw attitude suddenly. I didn’t want a third person to play game between us so decided to call him directly. He ignored my call as usual. But sent a WhatsApp message. I’m attaching the screenshot of our conversation. I don’t understand what he is up to! What prompted him to start the conversation in first place?! What was the whole purpose of the evening call?

    He didn’t call back. I’m sick and tired of the mind games.
     

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  2. PurpleDreamzz

    PurpleDreamzz New IL'ite

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    Hi, don't know of your past issues or posts. Based on your this post, I shall give my two cents.

    1. He is just trying to confuse you and prolong the divorce process so that you will get tired one day and accept to divorce without any demands of alimony ( if you asked for it).

    2. Don't message or call him.

    3. If his lawyer calls, tell his lawyer to talk to your lawyer and not call you or your dad.

    4. Stay firm on your stand, do not fall prey to the games.

    5. Record even lawyer calls also whatever she tells. Incase they later deny about it, you will have solid proof.

    6. I know itsi difficult, but try to declutter mind and relax and divert to something you love to do.

    Goodluck. Be strong.
     
  3. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    hi,

    Don't know what exact ur issues were. Talk to him once, ur all doubts will be cleared. He is just beating around the bush. Make this ur last call with him and only communicate with each other through your lawyers.
    Had he being genuinely interested in patching up, he would have definitely called you up.

    Don't waste time. Still for your surety talk to him once.
     
  4. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Actually you have to know “what you want”, want divorce? Do some research and put your terms on paper discuss with your lawyer, what is possible on it and ask lawyer to fight for those.

    Your lawyer is not strong enough it seems.

    How come their lawyer calling directly, if anything need to be talked it should be mediation with your husband, you with both lawyers, and your parents sitting in your lawyers office.

    You and your parents reacting to other lawyers moves, without a plan of your own, hire a strong lawyer,

    They will play more games as your parents felt happy when they said the guy want to be together, looks like lawyer or the sis played a trick here, if husband wanted to live together he will talk to you .
     
  5. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    He is playing mind games to weaken your spirit. Don’t encourage any talks with you or your parents. Best to have both lawyers talk and put everything in writing

    Dont go on roller coaster of emotions, stay firm. If he seriously wants to live he will directly contact you with the promises of future. Even that can be fake sometimes
     
    SinghManisha and Sunshine04 like this.
  6. planetx

    planetx Junior IL'ite

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    Thank you all so much. Aged parents are always weak and emotional. I am their only daughter. So, they are worried about my future. I am thinking of hiring a competent lawyer. This guy is not good enough. I wonder what his lawyer is planning by finding that the girl's parents are emotionally weak. I have already elaborated my problem in detail in previous posts.
     
  7. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, my question is .. do you want a life this man ?

    1) If you say YES after these drama and humiliation, be ready to face more mental torture. If he was interested in this marriage, he would have responded to you in a different way. I don't see any empathy or love here. I agree with others. He is playing with your mind and trying to confuse. If you want have a face to face to discussion with him one more time - but not over phone or text. You need to see his face. See the text - he said in short- what is there to talk and talk to lawyer

    2) If your answer is NO., stay firm on that decision and let your parents know. Ask them not to delay the process. Also make a list of what you want from divorce ? How much as one time settlement or do you want alimony? Look like your lawyer is not doing a good job. Whoever it is they are not fighting for you. Delaying it to make more money as fees it look like. Change your lawyer . Let the lawyers talk, not you. Also don't involve any discussion with any parties. Try to get out of this marriage as soon as possible. good luck
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2019

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