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Extramarital affairs

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by umasridharan, Jul 25, 2006.

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  1. umasridharan

    umasridharan Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Friends
    I'm noticing a lot of extra marital affairs and related crimes. Are they on a higher side? Or the Medias are blowing them big? Everyday when I opened the newspaper, whether it is English or Tamil, atleast 2 or 3 incidents of extra marital affair related crimes are there. Where r we going?

    Above all, the movies and mega serials are justifying an extra marital affair. Very recently I watched a movie in Tamil, Uyirae, in which a sister in law is trying to seduce her brother in law. She is doing all sorts of techniques to bring him to her bed. What a nasty thinking. It's really a blow for me. Actually that movie is teaching people, how to seduce others. I never know, the film stories have reached a bottom level of this much.

    If the extra marital affairs are justified, then what is the point of marriage, love, affection and bond? What is difference between us and the animals? May be sex is a part of the marriage but sex is not the marriage.

    Are we on the right track?
    Regards
    uma
     
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  2. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Uma,
    I too feel that such incidents seem to be on the rise. But, may be the media is blowing them out of proportion. But moral values are degenerating. Recently myself and hubby went to the Valluvar Kottam to visit an exhibition, we saw many middle aged couple sitting around. I have my own doubts that they may be married to each other.
    I feel that if a woman or a man is finding it incompatible, they could consult a councellor and sort things out or she or he can move out. Having illicit affair or trying to murder the spouse will land one in jail only. Moreover, ordinary people cannot live peacefully after committing such crimes.
    We have to keep our cool always. I do hope people understand this and protedt themselves from this evil.
    With warm wishes,
    varloo
     
  3. rathi

    rathi Bronze IL'ite

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    Movies & Serials are going off our moral values

    Hi Uma & Varloo,

    Good that such a discussion is started here. It helps to quickly analyse our moral values and where as a society we are heading too with movies & serials portraying about extramarital relationships and related crimes.

    Very recently myself and my husband had a discussion about movies and serials portraying relationships like one's sister trying to affair with her brother-in-law, a brother trying to affair with his brother's wife, etc. We were thinking whether that is in rise in the society, that so many movies are coming with such subjects and story line.

    We (Indians) are best known for our culture and family values compared to the western world. But now it is so hurting to see that our society is losing such values and heading towards a wrong direction.

    I would definitely say movies & serials are contributing a lot to go off our moral values. High time they start getting good stories portraying the best of our value system.

    Love,
    Rathi
     
  4. Rogo

    Rogo New IL'ite

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    Nice topic to debate

    It is really nice topic to talk about.
    I am boiling inside from the time I heard the story about that movie "Uyirae".
    Oh my God !!! where are we heading with these kind of movies....
    I think they should ban these kind of movies .In our society ,they all held a riot when a lady actress expressed her views about our indian women but now they are keeping quiet after seeing this kind of movie.
    I dont know understand why we have a censor team ...what are they doing god alone knows ...
    One of my friend was debating the other day saying that when they potrait men very badly like in "asai" and "vaali" you all acceopted and was in full praise for those movies ...but now when they are picturing ladies immorally ..you cant accept that ...
    I think he has got a point ....We should never watch these kind of movies ...i am almost canvassing my friends to not to watch this movie.
    I dont know when these movie directors will realize that movies is a big entertainment media and is watched by kids too....
    One my friend was saying the otherday that nowadays husband are scared to be near their wives.....
    Seriously I think it is high time somebody does something about this....
     
  5. shwetam

    shwetam New IL'ite

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    Dear friends

    I have a personal feeling, though we keep hearing these, but it is happening. And we must see where the proportion of extra marital affairs is more, in males/female. I personally feel that if a male member is involved in such affair, it never shows up, becaue he is a bread earner, he can move out freely and we would never ever come to know what he really does, now if its the case in female, the results would be unimaginable..........w cant blame serials except that the extent upto where they go......but its a fact..........need to have some brainstorming session and we need to check those females who are married and love their family only to find that her spouse is engaged somewhere else because she is not satisfying or she is boring and bla bla........

    Regards
    Shweta
     
  6. Indrabolt

    Indrabolt New IL'ite

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    extra Marriage affairs

    My dear ladies,

    Perhaps I'm missing something. I notice that I don't buy very much of what is advertized onTV.

    I would like to think that I will keep my moral code and not follow the mindless fools on TV.

    Since I'm no longer married, that may be classified as brave words for a man who does not feel the pain.

    I love the people who are near, and dear to me. I know that I'm and independent man, with my own house, and car.

    I do have ideas on why men cheat. There is not only one reason.

    I do not know the mind of women. I do not know what drives women to brake their vows.

    I do know that if I had a wife, and she cheated that would be the end of the marriage. I would just put a new locks on the doors of the house. I just can't image me touching a woman dishonoured the marriage bed. I would just tell her: " go to your other men". I only want a woman who will love, and honour me.

    Here in Canada, some husbands secertly test the baby to insure he is the father.
    These are DNA tests, and they are certain.

    Most respectfully yours,

    Indrabolt
     
  7. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Hai Indrabolt,
    as you are not familiar with the Indian way of life, may be you are confused. It is a habit in India to marry one's wife's younger sister if the wife dies. Some men seduce their sis in law, even when the wife is very much alive and then the poor girl has no other go but to marry him. It is not necessary that the second woman should be the sister of the wife. Some women adjust for the sake of their children and for fear of the society. Some walk out of the marriage. And we can find many men having two families, even men in public life or are politicians. And the second woman is called the second wife.Legally polygami is not accepted. But if the wife keeps quite, and lives with that man, well, nobody can do anything.
    In the present context, a film has come, where the elder brother commits suicide, his wife lusts for his younger brother and tries to seduce him. Now, we consider our elder brother's wife equal to our mother. So the moral police are crying themselves hoarse saying that our culture is rotting.
    If a man can lust for his sis in law even when his wife is alive, why can't a widowed woman lust for her bro in law? This question is also being raised. The discussion is going on.
    I am sure now you have a better picture.
    By the way, you are not seen in any of the other forums. Can I ask why? Please browse the other threads also and you will get a better idea about India and its culture. For example, look up the Spiritual and Religious Discussions by Mrs.Chitvish. You will have a better understanding of yourself too. Just try.
     
  8. Eljaype

    Eljaype Bronze IL'ite

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    Extra marital relationship

    Dear Indus Ladies,

    Did anyone see the Hindi movie "Kabhi alvidha na kahena" ? I don't like to see movies . I just read in a magazine about it.

    It is the story of two couples. One man's wife falls in love with the other man. That itself is more than enough. Now when the other partners are just plainly friendly with eachother, these two doubt infidelity and cry fool !!!! How is that??

    That movie was sent to oscar nominations :confused:

    What do you ladies say about that??

    The extramarital relationships have become very common nowadays that when we speak about our culture , people just laugh it off..

    Would like to know about your opinion on this

    Latha :wave
     
  9. Preethi

    Preethi Gold IL'ite

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    KANK - Better don't watch !

    Hi Latha,

    I have been just going over this thread today and thought will just let you know, you're better off not watching KANK...! Watching KANK was the biggest regret in my life !

    Extra-martial affairs has become so common in life and movies these days ! Every married women/man has problems in life...Life has no charm without problems...Instead of learning how to tackle and handle such difficult situations in life, taking refuge in hands of outside lover is not going to bring peace of anyone's life...If those whose astray realise that, they can make their life more peaceful and happier.

    KANK is such a stupid movie with no proper justification for seeking love outside marriage..! I wonder how it even became a hit ? Except for the hype and rich locations and big star cast, there is nothing worth in the movie. !

    Love,
    Preethi
     
  10. Eljaype

    Eljaype Bronze IL'ite

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    No movies for me..

    Dear Preethi,

    Mee... going to see a movie... I never see movies. I don't know why. From my childhood , I had never wnted to see movies. Poor thing, My husband loves movies. Just for his sake I used to tolerate but when he came to know about my dislike .. he stopped compelling me. He started seeing movies whenever he is on tour.

    Nowthat he is retired and is at home, he is watching evening malayalam serials daily, Asianet and Surya. I don't disturb him. I quietly come up to my den, ie the computer room, my son's room. Now it is my den and refuge for the evening till the serials are over.

    About KANK.. when I heard about the story itself I got so irritated. The media was raving about the story and the cast of the film. That's not the side of Indian culture we would like to show others. What do you think??

    I am slowly finding my way in this group. If I do any mistake , please tell me.
    Regards
    Latha :wave
     
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