Extra-marital Affairs

Exactly! Thanks for much needed sanity, if the genders were reversed you’d have seen categorical responses like you correctly pointed out.

 

Well said YM

 

EMA is a mistake and not ok from any angle.

But lets take the EMA out of the equation and assume both are unmarried. The guys sounds like a total douchebag to me for unnecessarily initiating it and then backing off like a saint (holier than thou attitude).

the woman had a lapse in judgment but somehow I feel for her than the guy, as the guy was totally manipulative. Not even sure what he accomplished here, he took a women's heart and played with it, made her feel guilty and horrible about herself and left her with a broken heart. Who does this ????

if both had had sex and enjoyed then its different story.

 

Having sex is not the only criteria to call an affair EMA. Emotional affair is EMA too, in my opinion.
Being in a largely happy marriage and a committed relationship and still wishing to be in in bed with another man. Thats outright EMA, too.

Should she not know where to draw the line in terms of her friendship with a colleague ? Workplace friendship is one thing, Friendship leading to inviting home alone for lunch and talking about sex on phone is a totally different thing!

The moment he realised this is not correct, he dropped and stopped all interactions.
He did the right thing, in my opinion.
She is shameless and I don't feel sorry for her. What does she think is the best way for the guy(single guy) to end this relationship ? Meet her (a married committed woman) and explain to her why she should not cheat on her husband and convince her that this is not going to succeed whatsoever and that he was not ready for the complications their affair will bring into his life?

She is unable to handle his rejection for an EMA, how would she have handled the disgrace of EMA (while having a decent married life) ?

 

Both ; the 25 yr old single, adult, male and the 38 yr old married, adult , female ; are equally responsible for this mess. Both should share the burden of being shameless or immoral. I would not glorify the male here, I do not know that morality kicked in while deciding to refrain from an affair.

 

you are talking like she is a 16 year old. She was ready to cheat and would have cheated physically if he proceeded. Already she has cheated emotionally. And you are feeling pity for her. She was the committed one and he was a single guy. How easily you overlook her grave mistake? Like Amica wrote - if the genders in this story were reversed, will you pity the 35+ year old married father (in a generally ok marriage with usual ups and downs), for being “lured” by a 25 yr old single girl? Will you feel his heart was broken by the girl? I am sure brickbats will be thrown at him saying, why the hell he had no thought about his wife when he “felt lured by the 25 yr old girl”? “where was his sense” will be the outrage here

 

The posts of this thread got me to re-search for the origin of this shopping advisory:

Don't get your meat where you get your bread and butter​

There are plenty of variations of that, even pretty plain ones like:

​

 

Exactly. Shameless and indecent. And a cheater.
What if her hubby found out? I wish he finds out (so the sound is made when the tree falls, since some think the sound is the important part), then we shall see what her “worry” is about if he finds out the truth about the wife he trusted. That’d be the day she will realize how she screwed it all up. Really lucky that she has escaped.

 

Agree and I am with you on that, but at least it did kick in for him before the grave sex affair.