Oh!!!!! I was really disappointed with very less replies. I thought of getting many more learnings through this thread. Anyways if this is the reason then there is little hope of getting any such thing. Thanks for giving this reply.
I congratulate for your post nominated by @iyerviji for the current month September 2019. This is the month on day 5 th dedicated to teachers in India and birth anniversary of Sarvepalli S Radhakrishnan - ex president of India . So naturally thought of school cross one’s mind. Here my take on school vs marriage. 2. You desired that I write again response at leisure to your well thought out post. I remembered your request - the moment I saw @Cheeniya a ’ s like in “activity chart” yester afternoon. 3. If we consider “Marriage” as an institution - as a school - many points cross the mind vis a vis our experience . 4. In school one is taught but capacity to imbibe differs from student to student. In marriage each taught the other or learn from each other for eternity. In school we learn discipline. In marriage too. In school after learning we get certificate. In marriage certificate is given in the beginning itself but one would never graduate. A break or free period in school one would enjoy. In marriage there is no such thing. 5. In school you are permitted drop out or leave of absence. In wedlock, one will have to attend all days 24 x 7 : no sick leave or earned leave or casual leave permitted! 6. Marriage-school built by God With love as it’s foundation Trust - as wall Doors - as acceptance Windows - as understanding Roof - as Faith Furniture - as it’s blessings God - as it’s Principal Couple are always - a student ; not Principal Due stress & strain & storm never run out of it Marriage school is safest place. Remember the C- Word Never go to bed before completing your Assignment Communicate with other student Never forget to communicate with it’s principal 7. student can drop out easily from school. In marriage it is possible only with difficulty after a lot of rigmarole. Punctuality, home work, are stressed in school learning. In marriage too lots of home work to be carried out in good time and in time. Assignments incomplete or deferred doing will be dealt with harshly in school. In marriage too one has to exercise care and vigilante for smooth completion of day to day indoor activities. 8. In school elders are respected for their age and knowledge/advise. In marriage too. Remember your partner too a student in this school not a graduate. Studies & tests are a challenge in school. So also in marriage face challenges. Begin the day in sacred assembly as in school and conclude the day too in same style. 9. Different subjects are offered in this school; yet love is the major subject. Exams are tougher ; face it with courage & conviction. Principal knows how much students can bear. Thanks and Regards. God - Do You still decide & fix & Unfix weddings in heaven?
God - Do You still decide & fix & Unfix weddings in heaven? Thanks for your reply and the wishes. Your reply is delayed but better late than never. All things you described are very important to understand and learn. This above mentioned point make everyone think and doubt on gods efforts to fix the match in heaven as these days there is lots of differences and gaps in couples and many end up either with sacrifice or getting separated. I think this itself is a topic to discuss. Will make a separate thread for this. Thank you so much for this reply.
@messedup, The foundation of Dharma in regular life consist of five important elements called a) Gnanam, b) Prema, c) Niyayam, d) Samarpanam and e) Dhairiyam. The wedded life is no different. We need a good understanding of the people around us and the relationship with them should be built with love. When they say a few things, we need to verify the justice in what they say. We need to find giving to the family as pleasure and lastly we need courage to face any situation. When hostility is created in a family with an intent to hurt someone, we need to realize that succumbing to that would hand a great sense of satisfaction to one who creates the hostility and encourage them to do more. We need courage to face it. Even if most family members are takers, if one makes giving a pleasure, expectation of reciprocation of favor from them will be eliminated. That is Samarpanam. Knowing the personality of each person and finding the reasons for their actions is knowledge. Sometimes, even if bitter words were said by someone, it may be teaching us something important. Therefore, we need to watch for the righteousness in the words said than the pain encountered by us. Lastly, if the basis of all relationships is love, it will kill our mind's vagaries of over analyzing the words and actions of the family members. God has gifted forgetfulness for a reason. Every day is new and every moment is to feel happy and every experience is customized for a reason and give us some invaluable insight. The attitude of living with positive outlook for the day that just commenced or about to to commence is the best way of leading life.
Thanks for the reply sir. These are the things that I actually need to learn. I many times get affected by wrong words and wrong doings. These are the lessons that we all need to revise daily for the betterment of our lives. It really mean a lot.
Excellent information @messedup This marriage has changed a carefree, lazy and easy going bubbly girl to a very responsible, strong woman within a decade time. Let me share my 2 cents based on my own marriage life. 1. Self dependency: It is you - who have to face whatever comes in your life. Others may or may not help. But you must have a way to handle everything independently. This includes financial, emotional and physical independence and control in one's life. 2. Self love and care: No matter how busy you are. No matter what is the circumstance you are in. It is utmost important that you love yourself and care for yourself. Don't expect others to do it for you. Don't expect others approval for the same. Career, owning the things you love, Dieting, Gym, yoga, eating out, enjoy your favorite movie/food, outing with friends, napping at home etc..etc.. are the things that keep you live. You are here to live your life. Your role as mother, wife, daughter, DIL, sister, etc..etc... is only after your role as yourself. Remember "Only if there is a wall, can there be a drawing" A physically and emotionally drained wife/mother can only be a curse to the family. 3. Limit your expectations: Not just from external people, but it is better if you could limit your expectations from close buddies like H and kids too. Let them be free and if their love and affection is meant to be yours, they will shower you with love. If not, it is never meant to be yours. Just because they are your family, doesn't mean they are suppose to shower you with love and care all the time. Accept this truth at all stages of life. Because love or affection is not something that you could demand. It has to happen naturally, else it would only be fake. 4. Trust in God: For me, this is the first step in everything. I place a complete trust in God. I gave whole of my life and that of my family to the hands of God. This gives me immense peace of mind, even during the darker days. Because I know God is capable to handling things even if they are shaky. 5. Be humble and offer as much as you can: You never know when and how karma returns. In my life, it is the good karma that keeps me going in various forms. It doesn't hurt to smile at everyone, be humble to make others comfortable and to help when we could. Because we are social being, and we can't live in this world on our own. Although I am independent, this kind of random support is what keeps me self dependent all the time.
Thanks for the reply @SGBV. You really are very much confident girl whom I admire a lot. I always read all your posts whether I can give input or not. There is lots to learn from you. At such young age you experienced a lot of things and always came out as more stronger woman. You are an inspiration for most of us. All the points that you mentioned are worth to consider and one need a lot of courage and confidence to reach that place. I am walking slowly on my way with the guidance of all matured and sensible people here in IL which is rare to find at single platform. Thanks a lot for giving your input. TC.
Your remorse stands disproved with apt responses and numerous likes and with post nominated, I am sure your presence in indusladies well resonated. Thanks and Regards. God grant Godspeed for sincere efforts in right time.
That's what I was thinking about this thread. When I wanted replies didn't get that. When I lost all hopes and forgot about that thread then suddenly you and iyerviji aunty reenergised this thread. Before time and more than luck is not possible to achieve.
