Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tinku, May 24, 2011.
Is there any rule that your cousin's wife should like you? :bonk
Sp what is the point? Everyone wants to be liked. It is human nature to have expectations to be loved and to long for affection in relationships. Is there anything wrong with that :bonk
^ Thats ok, but if you start expecting that from folks in extended family, then if it works for you - that's great - but if that Mom's/Dad's relative's son's wife does not like you - then you can try to an extent, but you cant do much beyond that.
Ok, Point taken.
people forget calling/following up/being thoughtful towards 99% of their relatives...(simply coz there are just too many relatives in the world...).....
maybe you like her a lot...and would have liked good reciprocation from her end too....and are kinda turned off by her "not so warm" approach. Big deal...find another friend... !
Almost all senior ILites have given you valuable suggestions. I accept their views. One thing you have to keep in mind is we have to go long way in life. Keep on bothering such rubbish issues may spoil ur health and increase ur stress. Refresh yourself and enjoy what u like and have dreams about ur new member into ur family. All the Best!!!!!!!
One note : I am also a person like you involving in research in behaviour of relations, longing for their affection. Love and care should be shown in both sides, two way channel. Otherwise.....They are not deserving for the love. For friends also its applicable. I started to follow this.
Yes, They were all really level headed opinions. I, like you and Monakumar, was a person bugged about this and longing for real affection from friends and co-sisters. (maybe since I am an only-daughter and had lots of wonderful friends in my young age ). There should be a line where we can stop expectation and give them back the same thing they give to us. Its hard to do this since we expect us to have good relationship with them. But u know, we need 2 hands to clap. We have no other go than to set a 'dont care' for them in our mind. Who will respect us if we ourself dont treat us good.
Some ILites said.....'why in the world should u care about such a distant person'. Thats true. There is a saying..."We train people how to treat us". So better be good to urself. After u have kids (All the best to you) too they will treat u like this for ur forgiving and accepting nature.
The world has become so complex.None are transparent. Is it so hard to get normal friends???? opinions pls.
some people are like that, don't worry. My niece's husband's cousin is a young girl, younger than my niece. But she will act as if she is a 100 years old, giving advise about so many things that only older people give advice about. She happens to be my uncle's daughter-in-law also. I just keep clear of her and talk to her in a very authoritative tone when I have to. I am helping her husband to get a transfer and she does not even behave in a nice manner. But I do that help for my uncle and cousin so I never mind her. I give her an attitude, just to safe guard myself. Do like that. Or else, just be very courtious and talk to her only when you need to.
Some people are like this. I can understand your emotions. I am also a person like you. I always love to interact with people, but in many situations, I also had to gone through such problems . sometimes, their behavior and their words etc used to hurt me. Before, I was very sensitive and i used to think again and again about the incident , but it only helps me to be weak and sad both mentally and physically( my experience). But now things are changed. The problem is still there, but i approach them in a different way. Whenever somebody hurts me, if possible I will tell them openly about what I felt when they misbehaved. if it is not possible, I will keep a distance from them.
so in my opinion, you can follow these ways.
1. tell them openly about your dislike
2. just ignore them. ( it is what my husband always tells )
3. if the above things do not work, keep away from their contact and try to avoid them.
4. If possible, just pour out your thoughts and complaints to your hubby or intimate friends.
moreover you have to be bold and self confident in your mind. If you are sure about yourself, why do you worry thinking of other's behaviors?
Best mantra is to ingnore them who are hurting you badly..when u r being very polite...Dont bother about others behaviour when there is no fall in urs...Cheer up dear!