Every woman needs to have her own financial independence

I don't think there can be one answer that fits all. I have been both a working mother and a housewife. If a woman is in workforce and has a rather cushy job, I think that works well, however, if she is in a very demanding role, it gets very difficult. I got into such a job when my son was reasonably grown up and was really excited about it, but it's not just home and work you have to take care of, you also have to take care of yourself. I woke up early, went to gym, meditated, went to work, came home, did household work, went to hobby classes, took son for his activities. I have to say that although the sense of accomplishment was very fulfilling, I ended up feeling very tired and stressed. My son's grades fell immediately, my friends noticed that I had lost the glow on my face, gradually my gym visits became less frequent and my other interests suffered too.
It's great if someone has the energy and ability to make it work, but I usually see working mothers complaining that they don't get any time for themselves and they are forever struggling. I have seen working mothers wearing torn cloths, (probably because they don't get time to repair them), I have seen kids with working mothers, who either look lost or are quite spoilt, I have seen working couple fighting on who would stay back with the kids, because both of them have important meetings.
I think it is very fulfilling to work and be independent, but at the same time, a mother's role is such that she is not replaceable. what a mother can give her kids, nobody else can. We all have different level of ambitions and abilities. If a woman is most happy when she is working and totally lost when she is out of work, she should work, and when a woman finds it difficult to balance work and home, she should be able to choose to stay at home. And in that case people should not tell her that she is wasting her education and time. Whatever you choose to do, it's important to be happy with what you are doing.

 

Rihana & MB , Fair enough and I am also in the same situation like you both currently.I have the full financial details and control in my family.Plus a lovely dovely hubby who helps me in every aspect of day to day life.To an extent that I sleep with LO in the morning while he prepares food and makes mybelder one ready for school.Yeah married for 8 years.

I had quit my job 6 months back , but looking to go back to work in a desperate manner.It is not for money.For my own sake and for my kids.But I feel miserale looking at my little ones face.I want to be with him atleast till he turns 1 year but I know it would be too late by then and companies will be reluctant to hire me.I had quit my job when I delivered my elder one (for 2 years and had to join a grade lesser than earlier with less salary) and it was tough for me and DD as well when I went back to work.Surprisingly she just turned out fine (touchwood) though she missed me as used to ask if I can stay with her.Now she is the one pressurising me to o back to work and says I am wasting time while her friends mothers are working.

Having a job in hand has a lot of plus than minus.JMO

Gives us financial freedom and thereby confidence.
Meet a lot of people and develop "some" knowledge atleast.
Anyway it is for the children future.
Children are independent and have better confidence.They learn to do things by themselves.
Quantity time becomes quality time.
The way people look at you differs(not that I am bothered).
We are not stranded when need arises.Believe me it is very easy for a couple who are madly in love with each other to fall out of it suddenly.We might not have the right experience and skill any company would be looking for if we need to get back.I am nit being negative but it happens.

But there are situations like Parvathi1980 as mentioned(when things become inevitable) in which case the mom(or dad) needs to stay at home.In that case , I would say still we have to look ahead to secure our future.It is afterall for us(kids and us).

 

Apologies,Read knowledge as update in the second point....Blame my eng these days..

 

Exactly Rihana!You have put it in a right way."It is a calculated risk ".
At the end of the day, a woman should not be stranded as it would be tough on her and her kids.

I have seen some ladies(well educated) who choose or forced to be homemakers and end up being nothing.They take for granted that it is the husband's duty to bring money for them and their work for the day is to watch TV serials and gossip .Some do not even know to operate a bank account.Not that it is rocket science and I know they can learn in a day.I am just quoting for sample..What will the kids learn from them?Or what quality life do they have?I am sure all of us would have seen such people around us.

I think problem will arise in these situations when the woman choose to shut herself down from outside world in the name of living a "comfortable" life.Every woman should keep herself updated and be active which will keep herself going no matter what the situation is.I admire a lot of women in IL who are homemakers and live a healthy life.Like shanvy (her knowledge in RE is wow!) ,I do not have to tell about Chitra maam(her positive energy is contagious) and a lot others.

A woman is equally responsible for the upliftment of the family whether she is a working woman or a homemaker.By homemaker I do not mean the housewives as I have mentioned above.

 

We all have our own preferences. Very often women are not ambitious and choose to stay at home. But what is so wrong in not being ambitious? Or what is so wrong in watching TV serials? It is entirely up to them. My mil worked for over twenty five years as a primary school teacher but her mindset is still the same...she is conservative and labels children with learning disabilities as "pagal" or something like that:-(. So if a persons mind is closed any amount of outside exposure will not help. Likewise there are many homemakers who are smart and well versed with what is happening around the world. Personal growth largely depends on the individuals willingness to learn.

As far as financial security is concerned...working helps women. No doubt about that. Again that depends on what your needs and aspirations are. I have seen a lot of women work outside to avoid their mils or to avoid the headache of running behind a toddler or very often they work even though they don't want to due to financial constraints.

So there are all kinds of women...we choose whatever works best for us as individuals or as a family.

 

Parvathi, My point is not on watching TV serials.What if watching TV serials alone becomes their day work apart from eating and taking bath?Somehow I cannot agree that and I would agree to disagree with you here.I would rather do something useful.

A primary school teacher labelling children with disabilities as "pagal".I think she bunked all her teacher training classes.My god that is gross.Yeah ,if we do not have the right attitude , we will not learn anywhere.