enjoy this...( no offence meant sardar..we all love you ji )

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by ambika ananth, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. ambika ananth

    ambika ananth Bronze IL'ite

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    " An ass behind another ass behind that I and behind me whole nation"

    Can you guess what this is...

    A sardar teaching his children the spelling of ' "ASSASSINATION"

    hahaha..
     
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  2. meenaprakash

    meenaprakash Silver IL'ite

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    add some more jokes.......

    Hi Ambika,

    just read af ew more of sardar jokes and couldn't stop laughing...




    Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wandering
    Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?

    Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya…
    Mechanic – Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
    Sardar – Nahni yaar, dona side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

    A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question
    Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
    Sarder – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

    A sarder was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?
    Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also its deginning !

    Sarder returns book to library, bangs it on table & says – What a **** ?
    “I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all”?
    Librarian; So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory…

    2 Days of powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar
    where all the SARDERS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters….


    Two sarder are driving a car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other
    To check whether it is working.
    He puts his hand out and says – YES..NOYES..NO..YES..NO


    Sarderji tell me …what is the meaning of SMS ?
    It means
    S – Sarderon ke
    M – Mazak udane ki
    S – Service

    Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyo bhej raha hai ?
    Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karma ho to dusra tere paas rahe !!!

     
  3. ambika ananth

    ambika ananth Bronze IL'ite

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    Balle Balle...

    Meena............GOD...COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING...HAHAAHAHA....

    BALLE BALLE.....

    ambika
     
  4. ambika ananth

    ambika ananth Bronze IL'ite

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    A little gross..but really good one on our Sardar....Enjoy

    Meena,

    I am adding one more to our 'rib-tickling' series


    An American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the
    sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

    The American pressed his forearm and the beeping
    stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

    That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the
    skin of my arm."

    A few minutes later a phone rang.
    The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he
    finished he explained,
    That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.

    The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know
    what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese.

    He decided to take a break in the toilet. When he
    returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck
    and hanging from his backside.

    The others raised their eyebrows and
    said, "Wow! What's that?"


    Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his
    mind. The Sardar explained,

    "I'm getting a FAX. . . . . ."

     
  5. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    Enjoyed!!!

    Wow,I am still rolling and just can't stop laughing :rotfl
     
  6. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    some more sardars to make us laugh

    Sardar: I haven't slept all nite in the train.
    Friend: why?
    Sardar: Got upper berth.
    Friend: why did'nt u exchange?
    Sardar: oye, there was nobody to exchange in the
    lower berth..


    Sardar tells a girl "Come to my house at nite,
    nobody will be there.............
    Girl goes at night & really nobody was there.

    A sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After
    seeing the Form, he had gone to DELHI for filling up.
    U know why? Form says " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".


    A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered
    huge loss.
    Do u know what the business was? He opened a Saloon in
    Punjab!.


    A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
    every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
    A Sardar stands up - we must find & stop her!

    Sardar: Why are all these people running?
    Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
    Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why
    others are running?

    Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
    Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
    Again twins & named Max & Climax.
    Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED &
    RETIRED!


    19 sardars went for a film.On asking them why they
    came in a big group of 19, they replied that the film
    is only for above 18+..

    A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
    in a funeral function. Suddenly all relatives beat
    him. Why?
    He said "SMILE PLEASE"

    Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
    into future tense.
    Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".

    Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs
    tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he
    does this. Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch
    manager."


    Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
    mouth.........WHY?
    Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner
    should be light".

    Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.
    He was not sure as to what to be filled in column
    "Salary Expected". After much thought he
    wrote : Yes!

    Sardar and his family went for a party. He
    introduces himself - I'm sardar,she sardarnee, the boy
    my kid & the girl my kidney
    ....

    One sardarji Professor asked a plumber to come to
    his college. U know why? Because he wanted to check
    where the question paper is leaking...

    Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
    Servant: It's already raining.
    Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

    Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar
    jumps from 100th floor. At 50th floor he remembers I
    don't have a daughter! At 25th floor: I'm unmarried!
    At 10th floor: I'm Banta not Santa

    On a romantic date Sardar's girl friend asks him
    "Darling on our engangement will you give me a ring?
    He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

    A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was
    laughing.
    A bystander: why are u laughing?
    Sardar: I have an Aitel phone but still Hutch
    network is following me.

    Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
    Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax. Angry
    Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs
    back.!

    A teacher told all students in a class to write an
    essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except
    one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

    Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this
    packet.
    Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could have
    posted it....

    What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
    He will compare it with the original for any
    spelling mistakes.

    Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr
    elder to you'.
    Sardar said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you
    next year
    .

    Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at
    emergency? Becoz, they can't find the eleven on the
    phone.


    Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar
    says: Drink quickly.
    Wife asks: why?? Sardar says: hot coffee Rs5 and
    cold coffee Rs10.

    A Sardar & his wife filed an application for
    Divorce. Judge asked:
    How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar
    replied: Ok! We"ll apply next year.

    Sardar's wish: when i die, i wanna to die like my
    grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming
    like all the passengers in the car he was driving....

    Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
    looking thing is what you call modern art ?
    Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

    Sardar was writing something very slowly.
    Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
    Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't
    read very fast.

    Flash news: A two seater plane crashed in a
    Graveyard in Punjab. Local sardars have so far found
    500 bodies and are still digging for more..

    A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
    walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji
    replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

    Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man
    says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies. Sardar goes to China to
    find meaning of friends last words.
    It is "you're standing on the oxygen tube!!"

    Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with
    his eyes closed. His wife asked: what you are doing?
    He said: i'm seeing how i look while sleeping.

    A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
    novels, but he always started reading from the middle.
    A friend of his asked why he did so? "It'z doubly
    interesting", said the Sardar. "to start from the
    middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion
    but also about its beginning.
     
  7. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    Loved it!!

    :rotfl

    Too Good!!
     
  8. sonal

    sonal Junior IL'ite

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    An Intelligent Sardar

    Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

    The questions are as follows:

    1) How long was the 100 year war?
    A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150
    Sardar says "I will skip this"

    2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
    A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR
    Sardar asks for help from the University students

    3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the
    October Revolution?
    A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER
    Sardar asks for help from general public

    4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
    A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL
    Sardar asks for lucky cards

    5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its
    name based on which animal:
    A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT
    Sardar gives up.

    SCROLL DOWN NOW.......































    If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below:

    1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
    2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
    3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
    4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
    5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. vidhya3b

    vidhya3b IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: An Intelligent Sardar

    Very good one.. Never read something good lik this on Sardar jokes area... Thanks for posting here!!!
     

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