Dowry Business

To eradicate this evil, women should be bold enough to kick out the shameless people who sell themselves to the highest bidder like cattle. Girls should refuse to marry such alliances even if their families force them. For such courage, empowerment is necessary and it will come only with education and financial independence.

Sometimes, parents of girls themselves are to be blamed for trying to show off their wealth by giving fatter dowries than their relatives. Daughters should boldly stand up to such parents without falling for their emotional blackmail.

Boys have to educated from childhood that taking money and stuff to render husbandly services amounts to male prostitution.

 

Dowry is a serious issue any day and having to read all this while we talk about India being on the fastest growing economies just shows how much more we need to really grow. I have heard about the budget alliances and weddings where the "amount" is set for the picking/bidding to start.

And even in the most delicate ways, dowry does change hands, be it the educated or uneducated.

It is up to each of us to be able to say no to receive or give it. The woman getting killed is definitely her own family's fault as much as it is the in-laws and the husband. Unfortunately its also a vicious cycle. The brother would get the dowry from his wife to get his sister married - happily or not is a totally irrelevant thing here. I am not justifying his claim for a dowry, but our system is such that it leaves him with no other choice. But that is no excuse.

I really hope we can put an end to this. We should know better than to trade women like this in a country that worships female deities as the highest form of divinity.

Thanks for sharing That sure was an eye opener for us and hope it is for many more.

 

I blame the parents of girls also.First, they programme them from childhood that a girl's place is with the husband and in laws and try to adjust with them.Adjust means....live with them under any circumstances. So, many girls do not complain to their parents about the treatment they get from in laws. When it is beyond their patience level...even if they complain the parents do not do anything about it....just tell the daughter....."adjust, adjust". Finally in depression...if she commits suicide or killed by in laws.....they make a lot of noise and go to press...parents or brothers.They are to be equally blamed in the whole thing. First educate the girl, make her stand up on her own feet and then get them married. They can face their problems in a better way.

 

Hi,
nice to hear all these words from a man. But in my view I don't blame guys for dowry. It's women who are to be blamed. How many mothers are willing to bring a DIL home without dowry? How many mothers are dare enough to say I will not give dowry to get my daughter married?
One solution to this is atleast we should raise our children in such a way that they don't fall prey to this dowry and stand against it. By this way we can hope that a change will come.

I liked all of the jokes, especially the woman, wardrobe one. It reminded of me

 

Dear kamalji
Truly an eye-opener......this is a message to allout there. As a first step, we should start by setting an example with our boys. As parents we can bring about a change.
A new system is creeping up....more so I see this amongst the NRIs...the new monologue is, "we like the girl, no demands...shezzzz ur daughter so gift her whatever befits your love." The poor parents go berserk
...trying to pile up jewellery & wealth which would be a befitting testimony for their profound love for their ward.
The parameters are set...if my neighbour DD was given 2 cores , I have to go that extra mile and give 2.5 (I love my DD even more is implied by that extra 0.5 crore...huh?
But among the new generation, I have seen a couple of boys stand upto their folks and say, I like the gal and I,m going for it.......nice topic kamalji.
Mega

 

Kamalji..
I'm surprised that I've not given a FB in this blog.. Dowry is a topic which gets my blood pressure up by several degrees.. what I don't understand is why does it exist??? everybody says its wrong but then why is it practiced??? you are one of the few sindhis I know who don't encourage this system otherwise I know so many friends whose parents had to pay for huge gifts for the in- laws...
and in Marwaris the more you give dowry the higher is your position in society.. Shameless people.. I know of families where they sell all their furniture / and kitchen equipment before the bride comes as she will get he latest.. even a friend who I met after long time told me with great pride that she has 2 crores cash ready for her daughter who just finished her 10th std!!!.. that girl studied in cathedral school mumbai.. imagine what minsdsets of these so called educated people???..
very very sad state of our society where parents of daughters are the reasons for their murders...
Kerman