Divorce after 8 years - how does that happen

He doesn't owe you the truth, especially about things deeply personal. Judge all you want.

 

Of course. It's published at fakingnews.com....obviously a joke.

 

Spot on!! Only the two of them know what they went through!!

Psych,
Though it was addressed to beerbal, I have something to say here as well...

No one ever knows what both of them went through. Might be he is a guy, who wants to keep things to himself, and not make either of them look bad, so he just wants to keep the info he is passing to about his soon to be ex to the very minimum. Different people take divorces in different ways. One, wants to b***h about the other. Some just want to play it down and keep their mouth shut. I feel he belongs to the second category. Appreciate his thought for privacy. So you cannot qualify them as a bunch of lies. If I were you, I would just leave it at that, and take it as a bunch of statements issued by someone to guard his privacy.

I do not want to comment on his EMA. Here is just my perspective:
What if he told his wife he wanted to divorce long back? What if she was trying to hold it back all these years?? What if he just wanted a support system when he was going through a bad marriage? What if that female was just a friend? What if the 'other' lady took the friendship otherwise and wanted to get married to him while he doesnt want to because he is still not out of one?

Just wanted to throw some light on a different note as well. I said the above, because the story was not clear so far, so could have been any which way!

 

No .The opposite of bad judgement is not strong judgement/prejudice

"The most typical psychological term for functions carried out by the prefrontal cortex area is executive function. Executive function relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social "control" (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially unacceptable outcomes).
Many authors have indicated an integral link between a person's personality and the functions of the prefrontal cortex"

Well last I checked brain is a part of one's human body ,so by attributing or rather speculating the possible reason of this guy doing something so rash/seeminglyuncalled for, one is not holding him unaccountable /not responsible for what he did .I don't say "Hey i didnt eat that chocolate cake ,it was the anterior lobe of my brain that forced me".

 

My point exactly. So it's totally irrelevant as to what part of his brain made him do things that he did.


Also good and bad are relative. Who's a traitor to one side could be a patriot to the other side.

 

hi psych,

husband and wife is the most intimate relationship in the world.. the actual problems they face may not be so easy for us to understand, bcos they will never be able to express it to anyone easily.. divorce is a painful thing, but some times it happens due to lack of maturity too.. my friend ( girl) got into a extra marital affair just bcos she felt she was too beautiful and that she wants someone, who praised her all the time.. she wanted a gift everyday.. she did not want to do any household chores etc etc.. she told me all this in plain words.. after 7 years of marriage ( love marriage), they hv split now.. the love was true.. the marriage was a good decision.. they had a lovely kid.. but as years passed, maturity comes into play.. now it is not about romance alone.. it is about understanding, relationship, parenting, adjustment, future, security and love.. slowly physical needs take the back seat (though it still remains an important aspect with a different frequency).. people who expect their husband's to remain lovers for life long land up in such issues.. there is a basic difference between husband and lover and we need to understand that.. it ofcourse applies to guys also ... lover and wife are two different words, but merged into one.. in love, we accept a person in "as in where condition".. a mistake is cute.. anger is beautiful etc etc.. in marriage, we want a tailor made husband / wife.. u want the other person to change 200%.. these expectations put immese pressure on the other person and ruins the happiness of the other person too.. nothing wrong in expressing yr likes and dislikes but forcing the other person to change is not for good..

 

That hit me on the head. I had a colleague who was very promiscuous. She used to say that she was too beautiful to settle down with one guy... I thought that was just a cute line.

 

I think I would let the OP decide what is relevant or irrelevant to the thread that she started .

And yes everything in this world is relative, nothing is absolute , committing mass murders can also be viewed as a service to humankind by reducing the population ,so if we go to that realm of philosophy it will be hard to decide any stand for anything in life .So i am just sticking to the general values that we stick to and live with as a frame of reference .