Disgusting Mil And Family

U r not even in India and you get to hear all the crap. Does ur H wear dhoti everyday and not pants? Does your H follow his grandfather footsteps and do agriculture or whatever his family elders were doing in the past?If no, does he get same lecture as you get? These ******** orthodox rules apply only to DIL and not even to daughters or sons..
Plz stop listening to them and wear clothes and behave in your house as you like.

 

Consider yourself lucky that you don't stay with your in laws. Really lucky.
They are here just temporarily. You just have to adjust for a few months. You have two options -
1. Change your clothes when ever they are around - its fine, its only for few months, at least you will have peace in the relationship. Plus is just clothes- what difference does it make !! They are here to take care of your baby - so suck it up and wear Indian culture approved clothes.
2. Ignore her words completely - Listen from one ear and push it out from the other ear. Wear what ever you want and don't let her words bother you at all. You are an adult and wear what ever you want.


These are the only two options. There is not third way out. Choose. And choose wisely.


About periods- tell her clearly that its not possible to follow period traditions in foreign countries. You cannot control your in laws but you can control your hubby. So tell him these stupid period rules should not apply in this day and age. If he wants u to follow these rules - either he should cook \ clean for those 3 days or let you do what ever you want.

 

Dear Ssainv,

I would suggest you these.

1. Period is a god's exclusive gift to us and not any kind of sickness to be treated separately, no need to bug yourself into all these things.
2. Dresses you can consider that too up to some extent you are comfortable with.
3. You can hire a nanny and install a VDO camera in your residence and get it connected with your and DH mobiles.

Once you stop depending / expecting things from others and try to resolve things on your end, I guess majority of your problem will get automatically resolved.

Best wishes...

 

How annoying, that what you do during your period and what you wear are scrutinized so much. Personally, what you wear is your business, especially when you are going to work. You should wear what you are comfortable in, and considering you are a modern girl working at American company... you have to adapt to the surroundings there. If you lived in India, wearing Indian clothes ALL the time makes sense. Ignore what your MIL says. She was ok with a working DIL, but she's not ok with a DIL who is independent? You at least wear Indian clothes for Indian festivals and events, that's enough.

About the period issue, why are you even responding to this nonsense? Sure your MIL is yelling, but she only has as much power as you give her. My MIL is not so strict about it, but she plans poojas and temple visits around my period, which is arcane in my book. The whole separating the girl during the period is to ensure that she rests and not overstrains herself by trying to take care of everybody else. Nowadays, it's not possible, because you only have a finite amount of time to finish things, and it's not like you are suffering period pains or anything. Like @poi098 said, let your husband know that you can't follow these traditions strictly in this modern age, unless he helps out and does that work for you. Usually, that's enough motivation for men to drop stupid traditions.

 

How does the MIL know you have your periods ? Can you keep it a secret so that you are not treated like a second class citizen? Let her keep guessing
As for clothes, tell them there is a dress code at work. You cannot please them all the time .

 

Tell your husband, if inlaws want to spend time with the baby,they need to be civil with you.

 

Oh dear I really feel bad for you and your hubby.they cant do this to you.

1. This home is yours(you and your hubbys). You have to make rules.
2. You cant allow anyone degrading you under your own roof. You got to be fit enough to draw a line either parents or in laws.
3. End of the day you both have to be happy peaceful and comfortable in your own home.

Be who you are and do what you are comfortable with. They will bend their rules if its their own daughter. They are doing drama at you.

You must be enjoying the percious time with uour little one not fighting with these people.

Being good, straight, honest wont work in indian family system. Be diplomatic and tactic with inlaws with sugar coated words say anyhing and get your way out by the name of good will and innocence.

 

Dear Ssainv,

I told about your issue with my DH and he suggested something bit funny but you can give it a try.

During your periods your MIL is not allowing you to touch anything, whenever your MIL comes out from her bath just touch her and if you FIL supports your MIL do the same for him also (keep on repeating this) let both of them be in bathroom in queue full time basis. I think within one day all this drama will stop.

For better results you can touch their feet (as offering pranam).

Best wishes...

 

Lol!! that cracked me up